This Band 6 IELTS essay discusses the relocation of industries and its potential as a solution to urban problems. While it provides a balanced view, clarity and consistent positioning pose significant challenges. Spelling and grammatical errors also distract from the overall message.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) Β· Urban Planning Β· 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
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Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (280 words) and addresses the prompt with a balanced discussion. However, the position is inconsistent between the introduction and conclusion, which affects task response. Cohesion is somewhat affected by spelling errors, and lexical resource and grammatical accuracy show noticeable errors that limit the score.
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Relocating large businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could partially be a solution for the issues of traffic congeston and housing in major cities. Although, decentralizing of large businesses could play a huge role in the solving of this problem, there are other factors to be considered.
On one hand, traffic congestion and cost of housing issues in the urban areas is due to the large population density. Decentralizing of businesses to rural areas would reduce the population density which would result to less traffic congestion and ultimately lowering rents and property prices due to lower demnads. Rural areas would experience economic growth and development due to the high end infrastructures. There would also be mass job opportunities for people in the rural areas.
On the other hand, decentralizing of businesses is not an easy task as it requires extensive planning, coordination and expenses to carry out the task. Massive investement would be required as these new businesses would need modern approaches and requirements" title="Correction: modern approaches and requirements">the modern approaches and requirement make them functional" title="Correction: to make them functional">to make it functional. Most of these requirements include good roads, health facilities, electricity, internet and other amenities to support the businesses and employees. Most employees might not want to relocate as it may disrupt social networks and family structures. Not all employees may adapt to the rural living standard and these may affect the productivity of the business and even shortage of workers" title="Correction: lead to a shortage of workers">lead to shortage of workers.
In conclusion, relocating big busineses and industries from urvan areas to rural areas is not the best solution to traffic congestion and housing problems in major cities. Community dvelopment and introduction of more puplic transportation would be more effective in addressing these challenges.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
7 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| congeston | congestion |
| demnads | demands |
| investement | investment |
| busineses | businesses |
| urvan | urban |
| dvelopment | development |
| puplic | public |
Grammatical Mistakes
10 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| Although, decentralizing of large businesses | Although decentralizing large businesses | Misplaced comma; 'although' should not be followed by a comma when introducing a clause |
| traffic congestion and cost of housing issues in the urban areas is due to | traffic congestion and cost of housing issues in the urban areas are due to | Subject-verb agreement: compound subject requires plural verb 'are' |
| result to less traffic congestion | result in less traffic congestion | Preposition error; 'result in' is the correct collocation |
| due to lower demnads | due to lower demand | 'Demand' is uncountable in this context |
| the high end infrastructures | high-end infrastructure | 'Infrastructure' is usually uncountable; 'high-end' should be hyphenated |
| the modern approaches and requirement | modern approaches and requirements | Noun number agreement; 'requirements' should be plural to match 'approaches' |
| to make it functional | to make them functional | Pronoun-antecedent agreement; 'businesses' is plural, so use 'them' |
| the rural living standard | the rural standard of living | 'Standard of living' is the common phrase |
| these may affect the productivity | this may affect productivity | 'This' is singular to refer to the previous idea; 'productivity' often used without article |
| lead to shortage of workers | lead to a shortage of workers | Missing article; 'a shortage' is correct |
Vocabulary Improvements
8 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| play a huge role | play a significant role | 'Huge' is too informal for academic writing |
| in the solving of this problem | in solving this problem | More natural and concise phrasing |
| mass job opportunities | numerous job opportunities | 'Mass' is informal and vague; 'numerous' is more appropriate |
| carry out the task | implement the relocation | More specific and formal terminology |
| modern approaches and requirements | advanced methods and requirements | 'Advanced' is more precise than 'modern' in this context |
| make them functional | make them operational | 'Operational' is more specific for businesses |
| shortage of workers | labor shortage | Standard economic term for more formal writing |
| not the best solution | not the most effective solution | More academic phrasing |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The essay presents both sides of the argument but lacks a clear, consistent position. The introduction suggests partial agreement, while the conclusion states it is not the best solution, leading to ambiguity.
Examples
Introduction: 'could partially be a solution'; Conclusion: 'is not the best solution'. This contradiction weakens the argument.
How to Improve
Clearly state your position (e.g., 'I partly agree') in the introduction and maintain it throughout, ensuring all paragraphs support this stance with focused reasoning and examples.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, but cohesion is hindered by spelling errors and some abrupt transitions between ideas.
Examples
Spelling errors like 'congeston' for 'congestion' and 'puplic' for 'public' distract from the flow. The transition from advantages to disadvantages is clear but could be smoother.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'however', 'furthermore') to connect ideas, and proofread carefully to correct spelling mistakes that disrupt readability.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is sufficient for the task, but there are several spelling errors and some repetition, limiting the range and precision.
Examples
Misspellings: 'demnads' (demands), 'busineses' (businesses), 'urvan' (urban). Repetition of 'decentralizing' without synonyms.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by using synonyms (e.g., 'relocation' instead of 'decentralizing') and practice spelling to avoid errors that reduce clarity.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5.5
Evaluation
Grammatical structures are mostly simple, with frequent errors in prepositions, punctuation, and sentence construction that occasionally affect meaning.
Examples
Incorrect preposition: 'result to' should be 'result in'. Punctuation error: 'Although, decentralizing...' should not have a comma after 'Although'. Article omission: 'the solving of this problem' should be 'solving this problem'.
How to Improve
Work on using complex sentences accurately, pay attention to prepositions (e.g., 'result in', 'due to'), and review punctuation rules to improve clarity and range.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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