This Band 6 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses the issue of relocating big businesses to rural areas. While addressing traffic congestion and housing concerns, the response falls short in depth and detailed examples, impacting the overall quality. Discover how to enhance your arguments and meet the word count requirements.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay provides a basic response to the prompt by stating agreement with relocating big businesses and their employees to rural areas. However, it is under the minimum word count of 250 words, which impacts the task response score. The argument lacks depth and detailed examples. Coherence and cohesion are adequately maintained, but connections between points could be stronger. Lexical resources are used effectively, though they are somewhat repetitive. The grammatical range and accuracy are generally good, with minor errors present.
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There has been a major discussion about relocating big businesses and industries, along with their workers, from urban areas to rural areas as a potential solution to traffic congestion and housing issues in major cities. While some people believe that relocating businesses and industries along with their workers is not a good solution, I strongly agree that relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution.
Firstly, relocating businesses and industries along with their workers can reduce the population in urban areas, which will eventually reduce the traffic congestion. With the workers relocating to rural areas, the issues of housing can also be solved. For instance, big businesses and industries usually consist of the maximum number of workers. If they are relocated, then the housing can become much more flexible for other people.
With fewer people in urban areas, there will not be much traffic congestion, which will definitely decrease the pollution. It will be much easier for other people in urban areas to commute. Even for the workers, who will be relocated to rural areas, the housing and travel will be much cheaper, which will gradually help them save for their future.
In conclusion, relocating businesses and industries along with their workers from urban areas to rural areas is not only beneficial for the workers, but it can also be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5
Evaluation
The response addresses the task but lacks depth in its arguments and examples.
Examples
The essay mentions relocation reduces urban population but lacks supporting examples and analysis of potential challenges.
How to Improve
Provide more comprehensive arguments with specific examples and discuss potential negative impacts or challenges of such relocation.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay is logically organized with clear paragraphs, but transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Examples
The connection between decreased pollution and relocation is mentioned but not deeply explored.
How to Improve
Use more varied linking devices to connect ideas and paragraphs and elaborate on how points are interrelated.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is appropriate and occasionally varied but somewhat repetitive.
Examples
Phrases like 'relocating businesses and industries along with their workers' are repeated.
How to Improve
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and avoid unnecessary repetition to enhance clarity and interest.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6.5
Evaluation
The essay displays a good control of grammar with a range of sentence structures.
Examples
Sentences like 'It will be much easier for other people in urban areas to commute.' show good structure.
How to Improve
Continue to vary sentence structures and address minor errors to improve accuracy.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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