This Band 6 IELTS essay discusses the relocation of businesses to relieve urban traffic and housing issues. While it presents a balanced view, it has notable clarity and development challenges, including repetitive arguments and some grammatical errors. Read on for detailed feedback to enhance your writing.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) Β· Urban Planning Β· 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
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Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position (partial agreement), meeting the minimum word count of 261. However, ideas are not fully extended, and arguments are somewhat repetitive. The structure is adequate but with some unclear logical progression. Vocabulary is sufficient but repetitive, and there are noticeable grammatical errors that affect clarity.
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Many people think that a good way to solve traffic jams and housing problems in cities is to move big workplaces like businesses and industries and their workers from cities to rural areas. I partly agree with that opinion.
Firstly, shifting workplaces such as big businesses and industries from urban centres to countrysides helps reduce traffic congestions because many big workplaces are often located in big cities so people have to live in big cities for their work. If we shift those workplaces to rural regions, people will have to move their houses into countrysides for their work, which also helps reduce the population and traffic jams in cities, especially metropolises and increase population in secluded places like rural areas. Therefore, moving workplaces like big businesses and industries into rural communities is a good solution to solve many traffic jams and housing issues in cities centres.
By contrast, there are some major advantages when transfering workplaces from urban cities to countrysides. Firstly, moving workplaces from city centres to rural areas could be expensive. Secondly, it may take ages to shift workplaces from urban areas to rural communities due to the long distance between major cities and countrysides. Moreover, there are other ways to solve traffic congestion and housing issues in big cities, especially metropolises. That's why I don't completely agree with that opinion.
To conclude, I partly agree with that opinion because relocating workplaces like big businesses and industries and their workers is a good solution for traffic jams and housing issues in urban cities although there are some major disadvantages.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
3 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| countrysides | countryside |
| congestions | congestion |
| transfering | transferring |
Grammatical Mistakes
4 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| traffic congestions | traffic congestion | Noun number error: 'congestion' is uncountable and should not be pluralized. |
| increase population | increase the population | Missing definite article 'the' before 'population' for specificity. |
| into countrysides | to the countryside | Preposition and article error: 'countryside' is uncountable; use 'to the countryside' instead of 'into countrysides'. |
| cities centres | city centres | Compound noun error: 'city centres' is the correct form; 'cities centres' is incorrect due to plural modifier. |
Vocabulary Improvements
7 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| big workplaces | large businesses and industries | 'big' is informal; use 'large' or 'major' for a more academic tone. |
| big cities | major cities | 'big' is vague and informal; 'major cities' is more precise and appropriate for formal writing. |
| take ages | take a long time | 'ages' is too informal; use 'a long time' or 'be time-consuming' for academic writing. |
| secluded places | remote areas | 'secluded' might imply undesirable isolation; 'remote areas' is neutral and fits the context better. |
| urban cities | cities | Redundant; 'cities' already refers to urban areas, so 'urban cities' is unnecessary. |
| good solution to solve | effective solution for | Redundant; 'solution' implies solving; use 'solution for' or 'way to address' to avoid repetition. |
| move their houses | relocate | 'move their houses' is literal and awkward; 'relocate' is the standard term for moving to a new place of residence. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The candidate responds to the task by stating a partial agreement and provides relevant points for both sides. However, the development of ideas is limited. For example, the advantages of relocation are explained but not deeply explored, and the disadvantages (cost, time) are mentioned without elaboration. The conclusion simply restates the position without adding new insight.
Examples
Paragraph 1 explains that moving workplaces reduces traffic and housing issues because workers relocate, but this point is repeated. Paragraph 2 lists disadvantages like expense and time but does not explain them or give examples.
How to Improve
To improve, extend each main idea with specific examples, evidence, or consequences. For instance, explain how exactly relocation reduces traffic congestion (e.g., fewer commuters, reduced vehicle emissions) or discuss alternative solutions briefly mentioned. Ensure the conclusion summarizes the key points rather than repeating the introduction.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' 'Moreover,' and 'Therefore' are used, but the logical flow is sometimes unclear. The second paragraph begins with 'By contrast, there are some major advantages...' but then discusses disadvantages, which confuses the reader. Paragraphing is present but topic sentences could be clearer.
Examples
The second body paragraph: 'By contrast, there are some major advantages when transfering workplaces from urban cities to countrysides. Firstly, moving workplaces... could be expensive.' Here, 'advantages' should be 'disadvantages' to match the content. Also, the connection between sentences within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical.
How to Improve
Improve by ensuring each paragraph has a clear central topic and that linking words accurately reflect the relationship between ideas. Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'however,' 'on the other hand,' 'consequently') and check that paragraph topics are distinct. Revise for logical progression so that each sentence builds on the previous one.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but repetitive and sometimes inaccurate. Key terms like 'workplaces,' 'big cities,' 'traffic jams,' and 'housing issues' are overused. There are spelling errors and some awkward word choices.
Examples
Repetition: 'workplaces' used multiple times; 'big cities' and 'urban cities' used interchangeably. Spelling: 'transfering' (should be 'transferring'), 'countrysides' (often 'rural areas' is preferred). Awkward phrasing: 'secluded places like rural areas' (rural areas are not necessarily secluded).
How to Improve
Expand lexical range by using synonyms (e.g., 'corporations,' 'factories,' 'relocation,' 'commuters,' 'overcrowding'). Practice accurate spelling and collocations. Use more precise vocabulary to describe concepts (e.g., 'infrastructure costs,' 'urban sprawl,' 'public transportation').
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5.5
Evaluation
There is a mix of simple and complex sentences, but grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes impede meaning. Issues include subject-verb agreement, article misuse, run-on sentences, and tense consistency.
Examples
Subject-verb agreement: 'shifting workplaces ... helps reduce' (correct: 'shifting ... helps' is okay, but 'shift workplaces ... helps' is not). Article misuse: 'a good solution to solve many traffic jams' (better: 'a good solution for traffic congestion'). Run-on sentence: 'If we shift those workplaces... which also helps reduce the population... and increase population...' (this could be split).
How to Improve
Focus on sentence structure accuracy: practice using complex sentences with correct punctuation. Review subject-verb agreement, article usage (a/an/the), and tense consistency. Proofread to avoid run-on sentences by using periods or conjunctions appropriately.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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