This Band 6 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses the relocation of industries, presenting challenges and alternatives. The feedback focuses on clarity issues and vocabulary inaccuracies that hinder effectiveness. Enhance your writing by addressing common mistakes found in this response.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay addresses the prompt by disagreeing with the relocation solution and suggesting alternative measures. It meets the word count requirement (270 words). However, the arguments are somewhat underdeveloped, and there are noticeable errors in vocabulary and grammar that affect clarity.
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Some people argue that relocating large companies and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could a great solution for traffic congestion and housing problems .I personally disagree to the statement because of the following reasons.
First, relocation of large firms and their employees is a complex process which requires a lot of resources such as labour, equipment and financial resources.Companies need to carefully plan before they consider to move to another location. Furthermore, most workers are not prepared to relocate from big cities to the remote areas and it is difficult to convience them.Moreover, governments may not approve major relocations as they may pose challenges to the economy, workers and the environment.
Second, it is more practical to improve the infrastructure in the urban areas. The government can construct more wider roads, improve the public transport and make it more appealing to the public. For instance, local governments can introduce promotional ticket prices to workers who commute regularly. This will attract the public to use buses and trains since it might be considered affordable and more convenient. As a result, the problem of transport congestion will be solved. If the roads are wide and in good condition, people can prefer to live in the peri-urban areas while working in the big cities. Therefore, the number of people residing in the urban areas could be reduced.As a result, the housing issues will be solved.
In conclusion, relocation of companies and their employees requires a lot of resources and companies should plan strategically so as to mantain their profits. The government should implement measures to improve public transport.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
2 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| convience | convince |
| mantain | maintain |
Grammatical Mistakes
6 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| could a great solution | could be a great solution | Missing verb 'be' |
| disagree to the statement | disagree with the statement | Preposition error; 'disagree with' is correct |
| consider to move | consider moving | Verb pattern error; 'consider' is followed by gerund |
| more wider roads | wider roads | Double comparative; 'wider' is already comparative |
| promotional ticket prices to workers | promotional ticket prices for workers | Preposition error; 'prices for workers' is more appropriate |
| people can prefer | people may prefer | 'Can' implies ability; 'may' is better for possibility |
Vocabulary Improvements
3 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| a great solution | an effective solution | 'Great' is informal; use more academic vocabulary |
| a lot of | many | 'A lot of' is informal; use formal alternatives |
| promotional ticket prices | discounted ticket prices | 'Promotional' is vague; 'discounted' is more precise |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The writer clearly states their disagreement and provides reasons related to the complexity of relocation and the alternative of improving infrastructure. However, the essay does not explore the potential benefits of relocation or discuss the extent of agreement in depth, leading to a somewhat limited response.
Examples
The first paragraph discusses the resources needed for relocation and worker reluctance. The second paragraph proposes improving public transport and roads as solutions.
How to Improve
To improve, consider acknowledging some merits of relocation before refuting them, and provide more detailed examples or evidence to support the arguments. Discussing both sides briefly would enhance the task response.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay is organized into paragraphs with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'First,' 'Second,' 'Furthermore,' and 'As a result' are used, but they are somewhat basic and mechanical. The flow between ideas could be smoother.
Examples
The transition from discussing relocation challenges to infrastructure improvements is abrupt. The conclusion is very brief and does not effectively summarize the main points.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more naturally. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are developed logically. The conclusion should restate the main arguments more comprehensively.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is generally appropriate for the topic, but there are several spelling errors and inaccuracies that detract from the overall quality. Some word choices are repetitive or imprecise.
Examples
Errors include 'disagree to' (should be 'disagree with'), 'convience' (should be 'convince'), 'mantain' (should be 'maintain'), and 'more wider' (should be 'wider').
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by learning topic-specific words and practicing their correct usage. Proofread for spelling errors and use a dictionary or spell-check tool. Avoid redundant phrases like 'more wider.'
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6
Evaluation
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentences, but grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes affect understanding. There are issues with prepositions, verb forms, and article usage.
Examples
Incorrect preposition in 'disagree to'; incorrect infinitive in 'consider to move' (should be 'consider moving'); 'people can prefer' might be better as 'people may prefer'.
How to Improve
Review grammar rules, particularly for verb patterns (e.g., verbs followed by gerunds or infinitives) and prepositions. Practice writing complex sentences with accurate punctuation. Reading aloud can help identify awkward phrasing.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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