Achieving a Band 7.5, this IELTS essay on relocating businesses effectively discusses its pros and cons. However, it shows some need for clearer examples and deeper argument development to enhance clarity.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the word count requirement (269 words) and directly addresses the question by stating a partial agreement. It presents a balanced discussion of both advantages and drawbacks, with a clear conclusion. The response is well-structured and coherent, though the lexical range could be slightly more varied and some grammatical structures are repeated. Overall, it demonstrates a good command of task achievement and organisation.
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Relocating large businesses and industries, along with their employees, from major cities to rural areas is often proposed as a way to ease traffic congestion and housing shortages. While this approach could bring certain benefits, I only partially agree that it is an effective overall solution, as it may also create new challenges.
On the one hand, moving companies out of urban centers could significantly reduce the number of commuters, which would help alleviate traffic congestion. Fewer people traveling daily into city centers would likely lead to shorter travel times, lower pollution levels, and less pressure on public transport systems. In addition, the demand for housing in cities could decrease, potentially stabilizing or even lowering property prices and rents, making urban living more affordable for remaining residents.
On the other hand, relocating businesses to rural areas is not without drawbacks. Rural regions often lack the infrastructure necessary to support large industries, such as advanced transportation networks, reliable utilities, and access to skilled labor. Establishing these facilities would require substantial investment and time. Moreover, forcing or encouraging workers to move could disrupt their lives, as many may be reluctant to leave cities due to better education, healthcare, and lifestyle opportunities. There is also a risk that rural areas could face overdevelopment, leading to environmental degradation and the loss of their traditional character.
In conclusion, although decentralizing businesses may help reduce urban problems to some extent, it is not a complete or universally practical solution. A more balanced approach, including improving public transportation, promoting remote work, and developing affordable housing within cities, would likely be more effective in addressing these issues.
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response7.5
Evaluation
The essay clearly addresses the prompt, taking a partial agreement stance. It covers both sides of the argument with relevant points (e.g., reduced congestion and housing demand vs. infrastructure challenges and worker disruption). The position is maintained throughout, and the conclusion offers a nuanced view. However, the arguments could be slightly more developed—for instance, the benefits are explained concisely but lack specific examples or data.
Examples
The first body paragraph mentions fewer commuters and lower property prices; the second lists drawbacks like lack of infrastructure and disruption to workers. The conclusion suggests alternative solutions.
How to Improve
To improve, provide more specific real-world examples or evidence to support claims (e.g., a country where such relocation has been attempted). Additionally, ensure that the extent of agreement is explicitly quantified (e.g., 'strongly agree' or 'partially agree') in the introduction and conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion7.5
Evaluation
The essay is logically organised: introduction, advantages, disadvantages, conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' are used effectively, creating smooth transitions. Ideas are grouped clearly, and each paragraph has a clear central topic. Paragraphing is appropriate.
Examples
The transition from advantages to disadvantages is signposted with 'On the other hand'. The conclusion summarises without introducing new points.
How to Improve
To achieve a higher band, vary cohesive devices more (e.g., use 'Turning to potential drawbacks', 'Another consideration is that') and ensure that linking words are not overused in a repetitive pattern. Also, consider using referencing (e.g., 'this relocation') to connect ideas more seamlessly.
Lexical Resource7
Evaluation
The vocabulary is adequate and relevant, with some good choices such as 'alleviate', 'commuters', 'pressure on public transport', 'infrastructure', 'overdevelopment', and 'decentralizing'. There is some repetition of basic phrases (e.g., 'relocating businesses', 'rural areas') but no serious errors. The range is sufficient for this task, though not highly sophisticated.
Examples
'Stabilizing or even lowering property prices', 'environmental degradation', 'universally practical solution'.
How to Improve
To improve, incorporate more precise and less common vocabulary (e.g., 'exacerbate', 'ameliorate', 'disparities', 'exodus'). Use synonyms to avoid repeating 'relocating' and 'businesses'. Also, ensure collocations are natural (e.g., 'skilled labor' is fine, but 'advanced transportation networks' could be 'sophisticated transport infrastructure').
Grammatical Range & Accuracy7
Evaluation
The essay demonstrates good grammatical control. It uses a mix of simple and complex sentences, including conditionals ('could significantly reduce'), relative clauses ('that it is an effective overall solution'), and gerund phrases ('forcing or encouraging workers to move'). There are no major errors, though some minor issues like missing articles can be seen (e.g., 'a risk that rural areas could face overdevelopment' is correct). Punctuation is accurate, and verb tenses are consistent.
Examples
'While this approach could bring certain benefits, I only partially agree...' (complex sentence). 'Establishing these facilities would require substantial investment and time.' (gerund subject).
How to Improve
To achieve a higher band, try using more varied structures, such as inversion ('Not only would this reduce congestion, but it would also...'), passive voice for formal tone, or more advanced conditional forms. Also, avoid occasional awkward phrasing (e.g., 'a more balanced approach... would likely be more effective' is fine, but could be tightened).
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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