Achieving a Band 7.5 in the IELTS requires a nuanced approach to essay writing. This opinion essay discussing urban relocation identifies strengths in argumentation while highlighting the need for improved counterargument acknowledgment. By enhancing depth and providing a balanced perspective, IELTS candidates can elevate their writing scores.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the word count requirement (290 words) and addresses the topic directly, presenting a clear disagreement with the proposed solution. It is well-structured with relevant arguments, though it could benefit from briefly acknowledging counterarguments for greater depth. All criteria demonstrate strong performance at Band 7.5.
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Traffic congestion and housing shortages are major challenges for many cities today. Some propose moving large businesses, industries, and their workers to rural areas as a solution. However, I believe this approach is neither feasible nor effective. A more sustainable alternative would be to improve urban infrastructure and transportation systems rather than displacing economic hubs.
To begin with, relocating businesses and industries would require extensive resources, planning, and coordination. According to the World Bank, relocating a firm demands careful management and significant resources, often disrupting productivity, profitability, and overall competitiveness, affecting both firms and workers. Additionally, uprooting employees from established urban communities could negatively impact their well-being and quality of life, making relocation an undesirable option for many. Given the financial and logistical burdens, large-scale relocation is unlikely to gain support from businesses or governments.
Moreover, this strategy fails to address the root causes of traffic congestion and housing shortages. These issues stem from rapid urbanization, population growth, and inadequate infrastructure in cities. Moving some firms and workers would not resolve these fundamental problems but instead shift them elsewhere. Instead of relocating businesses, cities should focus on expanding public transportation and enforcing zoning regulations to create more efficient living spaces. Additionally, relocating businesses to rural areas could introduce new challenges, such as environmental degradation, social disruption, and economic disparities.
In conclusion, addressing traffic congestion and housing shortages requires comprehensive urban planning and investment in infrastructure rather than relocating businesses and workers to rural areas. Thus, I think that developing smart cities with sustainable solutions can improve urban conditions while minimizing negative impacts on rural areas. By focusing on sustainable development and effective governance, cities can create long-term solutions that enhance livability while fostering balanced growth between urban and rural regions
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Vocabulary Improvements
1 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| I think | I argue | Informal for academic writing; 'I argue' is more precise and formal, enhancing objectivity. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response7.5
Evaluation
The response fully addresses the task by presenting a clear position (disagreement) and developing it with relevant ideas, such as the impracticality of relocation and the need for urban infrastructure improvements. However, it tends to be one-sided without considering potential benefits of relocation, which limits the depth of analysis.
Examples
For example, the essay states, 'I believe this approach is neither feasible nor effective' and supports this with points on logistical burdens and root causes. The reference to the World Bank adds authority, but the argument could be more balanced.
How to Improve
To improve, briefly acknowledge that relocation might offer short-term relief for some cities, then refute it with stronger evidence. This would show a more nuanced understanding and enhance task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion7.5
Evaluation
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Cohesive devices like 'To begin with,' 'Moreover,' and 'In conclusion' guide the reader effectively. Paragraphing is appropriate, and ideas flow smoothly.
Examples
For instance, the second paragraph starts with 'Moreover,' to add another point, and the conclusion summarizes the argument cohesively.
How to Improve
To reach a higher band, ensure that within paragraphs, sentences are more tightly linked with pronouns or synonyms to avoid slight repetition. For example, in the first body paragraph, the connection between sentences could be strengthened.
Lexical Resource7.5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is varied and used accurately, with terms like 'sustainable,' 'infrastructure,' 'degradation,' and 'disparities.' There is good collocation and no significant errors in word choice.
Examples
Phrases such as 'comprehensive urban planning,' 'environmental degradation,' and 'balanced growth' demonstrate a wide lexical range.
How to Improve
To aim for Band 8, incorporate more less-common idiomatic expressions or precise technical terms related to urban development, and ensure consistency in formal style throughout.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy7.5
Evaluation
The essay shows a good mix of complex and simple structures with generally accurate grammar. Minor errors are rare, such as a long sentence in the first body paragraph that could be split for clarity.
Examples
Example of a complex sentence: 'According to the World Bank, relocating a firm demands careful management and significant resources, often disrupting productivity, profitability, and overall competitiveness, affecting both firms and workers.' This is grammatically correct but slightly cumbersome.
How to Improve
To improve, vary sentence structures more, such as using conditional or passive constructions, and proofread to eliminate minor punctuation issues, like ensuring commas are used correctly in lists.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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