This Band 7 IELTS essay addresses the topic of relocating businesses from urban to rural areas. While the essay showcases strong coherence and organization, it provides valuable feedback on improving vocabulary and incorporating more specific examples to enhance the analysis of arguments.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the 250-word minimum (279 words) and directly addresses the question, presenting a clear stance of partial agreement. It develops arguments on both sides and concludes with a nuanced position. Coherence and cohesion are strong with logical paragraphing and effective linking. Lexical resource is adequate but could employ more varied and sophisticated vocabulary. Grammatical range and accuracy are good, with mostly complex structures and few errors. Overall, it is a well-structured response deserving of a Band 7.
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Relocating large businesses and their workforce from urban to rural areas is often proposed as a solution to traffic congestion and housing shortages in major cities. While this approach may offer certain benefits, I only partially agree that it is an effective or practical solution overall.
On the one hand, moving industries to rural areas could significantly reduce the population density in cities. Fewer people commuting daily would likely ease traffic congestion, leading to shorter travel times and reduced air pollution. In addition, housing demand in urban centers would decrease, which could stabilize or even lower property prices and rental costs. Rural areas, on the other hand, may benefit from economic growth, job creation, and improved infrastructure as a result of such relocation.
However, this solution also presents several challenges. First, relocating businesses is a complex and costly process. Companies rely heavily on established infrastructure, supply chains, and access to skilled labor, which are often concentrated in cities. Moving to rural areas may disrupt operations and reduce efficiency. Furthermore, many employees may be unwilling to relocate due to limited educational, healthcare, and social facilities in rural regions. This could lead to dissatisfaction and a decline in productivity.
Moreover, simply shifting industries does not address the root causes of urban problems. Governments should instead focus on improving public transportation, promoting remote work, and developing affordable housing within cities. These solutions are more sustainable and less disruptive.
In conclusion, although relocating businesses to rural areas could help reduce urban congestion and housing pressure to some extent, it is not a comprehensive or feasible solution. A combination of urban planning strategies and infrastructure development would be more effective in tackling these issues.
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response7
Evaluation
The essay fully addresses the task, stating a clear position (partial agreement) and discussing both the potential benefits and drawbacks of relocating businesses. It provides relevant reasons and a reasoned conclusion. However, the argument could be slightly more developed with specific examples or data.
Examples
The writer mentions reduced traffic congestion, lower housing demand, and economic growth for rural areas as benefits, and then counters with high costs, operational disruption, and employee reluctance. The final paragraph suggests alternative solutions.
How to Improve
To reach a higher band, include more concrete examples (e.g., a specific city or industry that attempted relocation) and deepen the analysis of long-term implications. Ensure all points are fully extended.
Coherence & Cohesion7
Evaluation
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs (advantages and disadvantages), and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'on the one hand', 'however', 'moreover', and 'in conclusion' guide the reader effectively. Paragraphing is logical.
Examples
Transition from advantages to challenges is smooth: 'On the one hand...' followed by 'However...'. The final paragraph integrates the partial agreement stance well.
How to Improve
To improve, vary linking expressions occasionally (e.g., 'by contrast', 'in spite of this') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic that is fully developed.
Lexical Resource6.5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is adequate and appropriate for the task, with some good collocations ('population density', 'disrupt operations', 'root causes') but lacks range and sophistication. Some repetition of key terms ('relocating', 'rural areas') is present.
Examples
Phrases like 'complex and costly process', 'established infrastructure', 'sustainable and less disruptive' show competence. However, words like 'good' or 'big' could be replaced with more precise alternatives ('viable', 'large-scale').
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by learning synonyms for frequently used words (e.g., 'relocation' → 'decentralization', 'migration') and incorporate less common items (e.g., 'ameliorate', 'detrimental', 'exodus'). Use a thesaurus for practice.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy7
Evaluation
The essay demonstrates good grammatical control with a mix of simple and complex sentences. Errors are rare and minor. Structures include relative clauses ('which could lead to...'), conditionals ('If...then...'), and passive voice ('is often proposed').
Examples
Correct use: 'Fewer people commuting daily would likely ease...' (reduced relative clause). 'Companies rely heavily on established infrastructure...' (subject-verb agreement). No major tense errors.
How to Improve
To achieve a higher band, incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures (e.g., inversion, cleft sentences) and ensure flawless punctuation. Review prepositions (e.g., 'due to limited... facilities' is fine) and article usage.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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