This Band 7 IELTS essay discusses the relocation of businesses to rural areas as a solution to urban issues. While the ideas are clear and cohesive, the feedback highlights the need for more specific examples and varied vocabulary to reach higher proficiency.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the word count requirement (272 words) and addresses the prompt directly with a balanced, partly-agree position. It presents clear ideas with logical structure and adequate vocabulary, though development could be more detailed for a higher score.
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Traffic congestion and housing shortages are serious problems in many large cities. Some people believe that moving large companies and industries, along with their workers, from cities to rural areas could solve these issues. I partly agree with this opinion because although relocation may reduce pressure on cities, it may also create new challenges.
On the one hand, transferring businesses to rural regions could significantly decrease traffic congestion and housing demand in cities. Many people move to large cities mainly for employment opportunities. If companies were located in smaller towns or rural areas, employees would not need to migrate to urban centres. As a result, fewer people would commute daily, which would help reduce traffic jams and overcrowded public transportation. Furthermore, housing prices in big cities might decrease because the demand for accommodation would become lower.
On the other hand, relocating industries to rural areas may cause several problems. Rural regions often lack the necessary infrastructure such as transportation networks, hospitals, and educational institutions. Without these facilities, workers may find it difficult to adapt to rural life. In addition, moving large companies requires significant financial investment and may disrupt business operations. Some industries also rely on urban advantages such as access to markets, skilled labour, and advanced technology, which may not be easily available in rural locations.
In conclusion, relocating businesses and workers to rural areas could help reduce traffic congestion and housing pressure in major cities. However, due to the lack of infrastructure and potential economic difficulties, it should not be considered the only solution. Governments should also focus on improving public transportation and urban planning to address these problems effectively.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Vocabulary Improvements
2 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| big cities | major cities | Informal; 'major cities' is more precise and academic |
| traffic jams | traffic congestion | Colloquial; 'traffic congestion' is the standard formal term |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response7
Evaluation
The candidate responds to all parts of the task by presenting a clear, partly-agree position and discussing both advantages and disadvantages of relocation. Ideas are relevant and supported, but could be extended with more specific examples or deeper analysis.
Examples
The introduction states: 'I partly agree with this opinion because although relocation may reduce pressure on cities, it may also create new challenges.' Body paragraphs explain reduced traffic/housing demand and infrastructure issues.
How to Improve
To improve, provide more concrete examples (e.g., naming specific cities or industries) and explore the implications more thoroughly to strengthen argumentation.
Coherence & Cohesion7
Evaluation
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Cohesive devices are used appropriately to link ideas, but there is room for more variety in transitions.
Examples
Linking phrases such as 'On the one hand,' 'As a result,' 'Furthermore,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion' create logical flow.
How to Improve
Incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'consequently,' 'nevertheless,' 'in contrast') and ensure smoother connections between sentences within paragraphs.
Lexical Resource7
Evaluation
Vocabulary is sufficient and generally accurate, with some topic-specific terms. However, it lacks less common lexical items and could be more precise to enhance style.
Examples
Words like 'traffic congestion,' 'housing shortages,' 'infrastructure,' 'financial investment,' and 'disrupt business operations' demonstrate adequate range.
How to Improve
Use more advanced vocabulary (e.g., 'decongestion,' 'urban sprawl,' 'sustainable development') and pay attention to collocations (e.g., 'mitigate traffic' instead of 'reduce traffic').
Grammatical Range & Accuracy7
Evaluation
The essay displays a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures with generally error-free grammar. Control is consistent, but more grammatical variety could be shown.
Examples
Complex sentences: 'If companies were located in smaller towns or rural areas, employees would not need to migrate to urban centres.' Accurate use of modal verbs like 'may' and 'might'.
How to Improve
Experiment with more advanced structures such as conditional forms, passive voice, or nominalization to demonstrate greater flexibility (e.g., 'The relocation of businesses, if implemented, could lead to...').
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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