This band 7 IELTS essay discusses the relocation of businesses and its potential impacts. While it effectively argues the disadvantages, it could benefit from deeper analysis and expanded discussion to strengthen its overall argument.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear stance on the topic with relevant arguments and examples. The response is coherent and logically organized, demonstrating a good range of vocabulary and grammatical structures. However, there is room for improvement in expanding the discussion and providing additional analysis.
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Many people believe that relocating large businesses and industries from urban areas to rural regions could help solve problems such as traffic congestion and housing shortages in major cities. Although this development may bring some benefits, I mostly disagree with this idea because it can create difficulties for both businesses and workers.
The main reason why I disagree is that most industries are established in cities because urban areas provide better facilities and infrastructure. Large companies usually require reliable electricity, transportation systems, skilled workers, and access to large markets, which are more easily available in cities. In addition, many employees already live in urban areas with their families. If industries are moved to rural regions, workers may need to travel long distances every day, which could increase transportation costs and create stress. For example, a factory manager whose children attend schools in the city may find it extremely difficult to relocate to a remote area for work purposes.
On the other hand, some people support this idea because it could reduce overcrowding in cities. Moving industries to rural areas may decrease traffic jams and lower the demand for housing in urban centres. As a result, cities could become less polluted and more comfortable places to live. Furthermore, rural regions may also experience economic growth due to increased employment opportunities.
However, in my opinion, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. Relocating businesses is a complex and expensive process, and many companies may struggle to maintain their growth if they are moved away from major commercial centres. Businesses are more likely to succeed in locations where they can easily attract customers, workers, and investors.
In conclusion, although transferring industries to rural areas may help reduce urban problems such as traffic and housing pressure, I believe it is not a practical solution because it can create significant challenges for both companies and employees.
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response7
Evaluation
The essay presents a clear position and adequately addresses the prompt, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of relocating businesses.
Examples
The writer explains the necessity of infrastructure for businesses and the negative impact on workers due to relocation.
How to Improve
To improve, the essay could explore more dimensions of the problem, such as potential environmental or social impacts on rural areas.
Coherence & Cohesion7
Evaluation
The response is well-organized with logical progression and effective use of linking words to connect ideas.
Examples
Transitional words like 'On the other hand' and 'However' guide the reader through the argument structure.
How to Improve
Improving coherence could involve developing conclusions for individual paragraphs more thoroughly or ensuring that all sections contribute equitably to the thesis.
Lexical Resource7
Evaluation
A good range of vocabulary is demonstrated, with precise terminology relevant to the topic.
Examples
Words like 'infrastructure', 'overcrowding', and 'commercial centres' are used appropriately.
How to Improve
Expanding the lexical range further could involve using more varied expressions or phrasal verbs to enhance readability.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy7.5
Evaluation
The essay demonstrates a variety of grammatical structures with minimal errors. Sentence structures are mostly complex and accurate.
Examples
Conditional sentences and complex clauses are used effectively.
How to Improve
Further improvement could involve using a wider variety of sentence structures such as passive voice or inversion for emphasis.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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