This Band 7 IELTS writing task 2 opinion essay discusses video games, highlighting key grammar and spelling issues that affected the score. While the student presents a balanced view of the benefits and drawbacks of gaming, frequent mistakes in language accuracy limited the overall band. Understanding these common pitfalls can help you enhance your writing skills for the IELTS exam.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Video games · 40 min
Video games are seen by some as a harmless form of entertainment, or even a useful way to learn new skills. However, others argue that video games have a negative impact on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (279 words) and directly addresses the question, presenting a clear opinion that drawbacks outweigh benefits if gaming is not moderated. It discusses both benefits and drawbacks with relevant points. However, language accuracy issues, including spelling and grammatical errors, limit the higher bands in Lexical Resource and Grammatical Range and Accuracy.
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In recent years, it has become increasingly common video games for children to entertainment and even a useful way o develop certain skills. However some people believe that they can have negative effects on players. I firmly believe that, although video games offer several benefits, their drawbacks can outweight the advantages if they are not used in moderation.
On the one hand, video games can be beneficial in various ways. To begin with, they help players develop important cognitive skills such as problem-solving, critical thinking, and quick decision-making. For instance, many strategy games require players to plan carefully and think ahead in order to succed. In addition, video games can improve hand-eye coordination an reaction time, which are useful in real-life situations. Furthermor, online games allow people to communicate and cooperate with other, helping them build teamwork and social skills.
On the other hand, excessive gaming can lead to serious ploblem. One major drowback is that it can be highly addictive, causing players to spend too much time in front of screens. As a result, tha mab neglect their studies, work, or personal relationships. Moreover, playing violent video games for long periods may nagatively influence behaior, especially amoung young people, making them more aggressive or less sensitive to others. Another issue is the impact on physical health, as long hours of gaming can lead to eye strain, poor posture, and lack of physical activity.
In conclusion, while video games can be educational and entertaining, their negative effects should not be ignored. I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits when gaming is not controlled. Therefore, it is important fot individuals to maintain a balance and use video games responsibly.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
13 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| o | to |
| outweight | outweigh |
| succed | succeed |
| an | and |
| Furthermor | Furthermore |
| ploblem | problem |
| drowback | drawback |
| tha | they |
| mab | may |
| nagatively | negatively |
| behaior | behavior |
| amoung | among |
| fot | for |
Grammatical Mistakes
6 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| it has become increasingly common video games for children to entertainment | it has become increasingly common for video games to provide entertainment for children | Incorrect sentence structure; 'to entertainment' should be 'for entertainment' or 'to entertain'. |
| However some people | However, some people | Missing comma after 'However' when used as a conjunctive adverb. |
| an reaction time | and reaction time | Incorrect word; 'an' is an article, but 'and' is the correct conjunction. |
| communicate and cooperate with other | communicate and cooperate with others | 'other' should be plural 'others' to refer to multiple people. |
| excessive gaming can lead to serious ploblem | excessive gaming can lead to serious problems | Noun number agreement; 'problem' should be plural or preceded by an article. |
| tha mab neglect | they may neglect | Incorrect subject and verb; 'tha' should be 'they', and 'mab' should be 'may'. |
Vocabulary Improvements
1 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| to entertainment | to entertain | 'entertainment' is a noun; use the verb 'entertain' for correct collocation. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response7.5
Evaluation
The essay fully addresses all parts of the question, presenting a clear position that drawbacks can outweigh benefits without moderation. Main ideas are extended and supported with examples, though some development could be more detailed.
Examples
Benefits include cognitive skills (problem-solving, critical thinking), hand-eye coordination, and social skills from online games. Drawbacks cover addiction, neglect of responsibilities, behavioral issues from violent games, and physical health problems.
How to Improve
Provide more specific, real-world examples or studies to strengthen support. Ensure the conclusion explicitly ties back to the position with a stronger emphasis on moderation.
Coherence & Cohesion7
Evaluation
The essay is logically organized with clear paragraphing and effective use of cohesive devices. However, some grammatical errors slightly disrupt the flow and coherence.
Examples
Clear structure: introduction, two body paragraphs (benefits and drawbacks), and conclusion. Cohesive devices like 'On the one hand,' 'In addition,' 'On the other hand,' 'Moreover,' and 'In conclusion' are used appropriately.
How to Improve
Use a wider variety of linking phrases (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'Conversely,' 'Consequently') and ensure smoother transitions between sentences. Proofread to correct errors that hinder clarity.
Lexical Resource6.5
Evaluation
Vocabulary range is adequate for the topic, but spelling errors and inaccuracies reduce the band score. Some relevant terms are used, but control is limited.
Examples
Misspellings: 'outweight' (outweigh), 'ploblem' (problem), 'drowback' (drawback), 'nagatively' (negatively), 'behaior' (behavior), 'amoung' (among). Correct use of terms like 'cognitive skills,' 'hand-eye coordination,' 'addictive.'
How to Improve
Focus on accurate spelling and word choice. Expand academic vocabulary related to technology and social issues. Practice proofreading and use a dictionary or spell-check tools.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6
Evaluation
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is attempted, but frequent grammatical errors affect accuracy and clarity. Errors occur in sentence construction, word forms, and punctuation.
Examples
Incorrect sentence: 'it has become increasingly common video games for children to entertainment' (should be 'it has become increasingly common for children to play video games for entertainment'). Other errors: 'an reaction time' (and), 'tha mab neglect' (they may neglect), 'fot' (for).
How to Improve
Review basic grammar rules, including sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and word forms. Practice writing complex sentences with correct conjunctions and clauses. Seek feedback on written work to identify recurring errors.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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