Achieving a Band 8, this essay tackles the topic of living alone, arguing it negatively impacts mental health. The response effectively develops its main argument and addresses counterpoints, though slight improvements in cohesive transitions and specific examples could enhance it further.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Living Alone · 40 min
In some countries, more and more people are opting to live alone these days than before. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay fully addresses the prompt, presenting a clear and well-developed argument that the trend towards living alone is negative. It meets the word count requirement (388 words). The response is coherent, uses a wide range of vocabulary and grammatical structures effectively, with only minor errors.
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In my opinion, the phenomenon where a greater proportion of people are choosing to live alone is a negative development.
Humans are fundamentally social creatures: we have evolved to depend on communication, cooperation, and connection for survival. Some of our earliest ancestors would hunt, eat, and sleep together, and their inter-dependence guaranteed their survival. Without their tribe, they would not be able to hunt prey to eat, and would be much more vulnerable to predators when they were resting.
Nevertheless, one may argue that in modern societies, we no longer require a tribe for immediate survival needs like food and shelter. While this is true to a large extent -- shopping for groceries at supermarket or sleeping in the comfort of one's own bed would rarely require the company of other people -- being around other people is still important to one's mental well-being. It's undeniable that on our bad days, having a conversation or doing an activity with a loved one perks us up. Even on good days, it's important to have someone who can celebrate our wins with us. As more and more people live alone, an increasing number of us are losing access to these small forms of social connection that foster our sense of belonging to a family or a community, which can be detrimental to our mental health and even affect our physical health.
Opponents may also posit that with increased Internet penetration, we can engage with friends and family through online messaging apps or social media and need not derive our sense of community from physically living with others anymore. However, I would argue that the sense of social belonging we derive from physically connecting with others is incomparable to that we can get from an online conversation. After all, being able to see our conterparts' emotions on their faces, read their body language, and engage in physical touch is an important aspect of engagement that we cannot attain from the Internet.
As more people start living alone, coupled with how more people's working lives are getting busier, fewer people will experience a sense of belonging to their families and societies, and more communities will become increasingly fractured. Hence, these countries run the risk of having a more fractured social fabric and lower sense of happiness or national pride in their people.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
1 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| conterparts | counterparts |
Grammatical Mistakes
2 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| at supermarket | at a supermarket | Article missing: 'supermarket' is a countable noun and requires an article. |
| coupled with how more people's working lives are getting busier | coupled with the fact that more people's working lives are getting busier | Informal use of 'how'; 'the fact that' is more appropriate for formal writing. |
Vocabulary Improvements
3 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| perks us up | boosts our mood | Informal phrasal verb; 'boosts our mood' is more formal and precise. |
| wins | successes | Informal; 'successes' is more appropriate for academic writing. |
| get | derive | Informal; 'derive' is a more formal synonym in this context. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response8
Evaluation
The candidate clearly states their opinion in the introduction and maintains it throughout. Relevant arguments are developed, such as the evolutionary need for social connection, mental well-being concerns, and the limitations of online interactions. Opposing views are acknowledged and rebutted.
Examples
Introduction: 'In my opinion... a negative development.' Body paragraphs discuss historical interdependence, modern mental health, and online vs. physical connection. Conclusion reinforces the risk of a 'fractured social fabric.'
How to Improve
To enhance task response, include more specific real-world examples or data (e.g., statistics on loneliness or social trends) to further substantiate claims.
Coherence & Cohesion8
Evaluation
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Cohesive devices are used effectively to link ideas and paragraphs, ensuring smooth progression.
Examples
Use of transitional phrases: 'Nevertheless' to introduce a counterargument, 'While this is true...' for concession, 'However' for contrast, and 'Hence' for conclusion. Paragraphs each focus on a central idea.
How to Improve
While cohesion is strong, ensure paragraph transitions are even more seamless by using a wider variety of linking words and checking for repetitive patterns.
Lexical Resource8
Evaluation
A wide range of vocabulary is used fluently and appropriately, with precise terms related to social and psychological concepts. The language is formal and academic, with minimal errors.
Examples
Phrases like 'fundamentally social creatures,' 'inter-dependence,' 'mental well-being,' 'detrimental,' 'incomparable,' and 'fractured social fabric' demonstrate lexical range.
How to Improve
Proofread for minor spelling errors (e.g., 'conterparts' should be 'counterparts'). Aim for even more nuanced vocabulary to avoid occasional repetition (e.g., 'sense of belonging' used multiple times).
Grammatical Range & Accuracy8
Evaluation
The essay demonstrates a wide range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences with clauses and parenthetical elements. Accuracy is high, with only occasional minor errors.
Examples
Complex sentence: 'While this is true to a large extent -- shopping for groceries at supermarket or sleeping in the comfort of one's own bed would rarely require the company of other people -- being around other people is still important...' Use of colons, dashes, and varied sentence lengths.
How to Improve
Maintain consistency in punctuation; avoid overusing dashes for asides. Ensure subject-verb agreement in longer sentences (e.g., 'an increasing number of us are losing' is correct).
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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