Achieving a Band 8 in the IELTS Writing Task 2 can be challenging. This essay on relocating businesses presents a well-structured argument but could improve by providing more examples and detail. By focusing on coherence and expanding on key points, students can elevate their writing and better address complex issues.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay effectively addresses the task and provides a well-reasoned argument against relocating businesses to rural areas. It meets the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, with a total of 290 words. The writer presents a balanced examination of the topic with clear points and logical development, providing solutions and considering potential drawbacks. Some improvements could be made in expanding on certain points for even greater detail.
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Traffic congestion and housing shortages are major challenges for many cities today. Some propose moving large businesses, industries, and their workers to rural areas as a solution. However, I believe this approach is neither feasible nor effective. A more sustainable alternative would be to improve urban infrastructure and transportation systems rather than displacing economic hubs.
To begin with, relocating businesses and industries would require extensive resources, planning, and coordination. According to the World Bank, relocating a firm demands careful management and significant resources, often disrupting productivity, profitability, and overall competitiveness, affecting both firms and workers. Additionally, uprooting employees from established urban communities could negatively impact their well-being and quality of life, making relocation an undesirable option for many. Given the financial and logistical burdens, large-scale relocation is unlikely to gain support from businesses or governments.
Moreover, this strategy fails to address the root causes of traffic congestion and housing shortages. These issues stem from rapid urbanization, population growth, and inadequate infrastructure in cities. Moving some firms and workers would not resolve these fundamental problems but instead shift them elsewhere. Instead of relocating businesses, cities should focus on expanding public transportation and enforcing zoning regulations to create more efficient living spaces. Additionally, relocating businesses to rural areas could introduce new challenges, such as environmental degradation, social disruption, and economic disparities.
In conclusion, addressing traffic congestion and housing shortages requires comprehensive urban planning and investment in infrastructure rather than relocating businesses and workers to rural areas. Thus, I think that developing smart cities with sustainable solutions can improve urban conditions while minimizing negative impacts on rural areas. By focusing on sustainable development and effective governance, cities can create long-term solutions that enhance livability while fostering balanced growth between urban and rural regions.
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response8
Evaluation
The response thoroughly addresses all parts of the question and offers a well-developed position on the issue.
Examples
The essay discusses the impracticality of relocating businesses and offers alternative solutions to urban problems.
How to Improve
Further examples or data references could enhance the argument's persuasiveness.
Coherence & Cohesion8
Evaluation
The essay is logically structured with coherent argumentation and effective paragraphing.
Examples
The use of linking words and phrases, such as 'To begin with' and 'In conclusion,' contributes to the overall flow.
How to Improve
Including transitional sentences within paragraphs could further improve the flow of ideas.
Lexical Resource8
Evaluation
A wide range of vocabulary is used accurately and appropriately.
Examples
Terms like 'urban infrastructure', 'economic hubs', and 'environmental degradation' demonstrate strong lexical resource.
How to Improve
Attempting more sophisticated expressions or idiomatic phrases could enhance lexical variety.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy8
Evaluation
The essay uses a wide range of grammatical structures with high accuracy.
Examples
Complex structures like 'relocating a firm demands careful management' are used effectively.
How to Improve
Consider varying sentence lengths and structures more to further exhibit grammatical flexibility.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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