This Band 8 IELTS essay examines the relocation of businesses from urban to rural areas to tackle traffic congestion and housing shortages. The feedback highlights the effectiveness of task response and coherence, while suggesting improvements in providing specific examples and counterarguments.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay fully addresses the prompt with a clear, balanced opinion, supported by relevant arguments. It is well-organized, uses a varied vocabulary, and demonstrates grammatical accuracy. The word count of 289 meets the minimum requirement.
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The persistent problems of traffic congestion and housing shortages in major cities have prompted some to suggest relocating large businesses and industries to rural areas as a potential solution. While I agree that decentralising economic activities could alleviate urban pressure to a certain extent, I believe that this measure alone would not fully resolve these complex issues.
On the one hand, moving businesses and their employees to rural regions could significantly reduce population density in metropolitan areas. This is largely because employment opportunities are a primary reason why people migrate to cities. If companies were distributed more evenly across the country, fewer individuals would need to relocate to urban centres in search of work. As a result, traffic volumes would likely decrease, easing daily congestion. Furthermore, reduced demand for housing could stabilise property prices and rental costs, making accommodation more affordable for remaining residents. From this perspective, decentralisation appears to be a practical strategy for relieving urban strain.
On the other hand, relocating industries may create new challenges rather than fully solving existing ones. Rural areas often lack the infrastructure, transport networks, and skilled labour required to support large-scale businesses. Consequently, substantial government investment would be necessary to develop these regions. Moreover, many industries depend on proximity to suppliers, clients, and financial institutions typically located in cities. Therefore, complete relocation may disrupt economic efficiency rather than enhance it. These considerations suggest that while the proposal has merit, it is not a comprehensive solution.
In conclusion, although transferring businesses to rural areas could partially ease traffic congestion and housing shortages, I believe it would not entirely address these problems. A combination of improved urban planning, public transport development, and regional investment would likely prove more effective in the long term.
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response8
Evaluation
The response sufficiently addresses all parts of the task, presenting a clear position that partially agrees with the statement. Ideas are extended and supported with relevant arguments about benefits and challenges.
Examples
For example, the essay discusses how relocating businesses could reduce population density and ease traffic, while also highlighting issues like lack of rural infrastructure and economic disruption.
How to Improve
To achieve a higher band, provide more specific examples or data to illustrate the points, and explore counterarguments in greater depth.
Coherence & Cohesion8
Evaluation
The essay is logically organized with clear paragraphing: introduction, body paragraphs for each side, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used effectively to link ideas.
Examples
Transitional phrases like 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' 'Furthermore,' 'Consequently,' and 'Moreover' guide the reader through the argument.
How to Improve
To enhance cohesion, ensure that each paragraph's topic sentence is explicitly connected to the thesis, and use referencing pronouns more consistently.
Lexical Resource8
Evaluation
A wide range of vocabulary is used accurately and appropriately to discuss the topic, with some less common lexical items.
Examples
Words such as 'persistent problems,' 'decentralising,' 'alleviate,' 'metropolitan areas,' 'infrastructure,' and 'proximity' demonstrate good lexical control.
How to Improve
Incorporate more advanced collocations (e.g., 'mitigate congestion' instead of 'ease traffic') and idiomatic expressions to show greater flexibility.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy8
Evaluation
A variety of complex sentence structures are used with a high degree of accuracy. No significant grammatical errors are present.
Examples
Complex sentences like 'While I agree that decentralising economic activities could alleviate urban pressure... I believe that this measure alone would not fully resolve...' and 'Consequently, substantial government investment would be necessary...'
How to Improve
To reach a higher band, experiment with more sophisticated structures such as conditional clauses, passive voice for emphasis, or nominalization for conciseness.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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