This band 8 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses the relocating of industries to combat urban issues like traffic and housing shortages. While it presents strong arguments and coherent structure, it needs a deeper exploration of the implications of such relocations for optimal scoring.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: Hello User, the essay effectively addresses the task with a clear position, supporting arguments, and proposed solutions. It is well-organized with coherent ideas, sophisticated vocabulary, and varied sentence structures. However, a more in-depth exploration of the implications of relocation could enhance the argument.
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Many major cities around the world face serious problems such as traffic congestion and a shortage of affordable housing. Some people believe that moving large businesses, industries, and their workers from urban areas to rural regions could solve these issues. While I agree that this approach may help reduce pressure on cities, I do not think it is a complete solution.
On the one hand, relocating companies to rural areas can decrease the number of people living and working in cities. As a result, fewer commuters would use urban roads and public transport, which could significantly reduce traffic congestion. In addition, when some workers move away from cities, the demand for housing would decrease. This could help lower property prices and rental costs, making housing more affordable for the remaining residents. Furthermore, rural areas could benefit from new job opportunities, economic growth, and improved infrastructure.
On the other hand, moving businesses and industries to rural locations may create new challenges. Many companies rely on the facilities and services available in cities, such as transportation networks, suppliers, and skilled labor. Relocation could increase operating costs and reduce efficiency. Moreover, not all employees would be willing to move to rural areas because of family commitments, educational opportunities, or lifestyle preferences. If large numbers of businesses were transferred, rural regions might also experience environmental problems, increased traffic, and pressure on local resources.
In my opinion, although relocating some industries could contribute to reducing urban problems, governments should combine this strategy with other measures. For example, investing in public transportation, developing affordable housing projects, and encouraging remote work can also help address congestion and housing shortages effectively.
In conclusion, I partly agree that relocating major businesses and industries to rural areas can help solve traffic and housing problems in cities. However, it is not a perfect solution and should be supported by additional policies to achieve long-term improvements.
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response8
Evaluation
The response thoroughly addresses the task with a clear position and relevant examples.
Examples
The essay discusses the impact of relocating businesses on traffic congestion and housing, as well as potential rural challenges.
How to Improve
Further elaboration on the long-term effects and potential drawbacks of relocation could improve the depth of the response.
Coherence & Cohesion8
Evaluation
Ideas are logically sequenced with effective paragraphing and transitions.
Examples
The essay has clear topic sentences and uses cohesive devices like 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand'.
How to Improve
Ensure each point is fully developed, perhaps by exploring more consequences or providing additional examples.
Lexical Resource8
Evaluation
A wide range of vocabulary is used accurately and appropriately.
Examples
Phrases such as 'decrease the number of people living and working', 'economic growth', and 'environmental problems' demonstrate lexical variety.
How to Improve
Incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to urban planning and economic development.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy8
Evaluation
Uses a variety of sentence structures with a high level of accuracy.
Examples
Complex sentences like 'although relocating some industries could contribute to reducing urban problems' show grammatical competence.
How to Improve
Continue practicing varied sentence structures, ensuring all grammar points are utilized effectively.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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