This Band 8 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses the relocation of businesses to rural areas as a solution to urban congestion and housing shortages. While the essay presents well-structured arguments, there are opportunities to enhance coherence and vocabulary, helping to strengthen the overall response.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Agree/ Disagree (Opinion) · Urban Planning · 40 min
Relocating big businesses and industries and their workers from urban areas to rural areas could be a good solution for the issues of traffic congestion and housing in major cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay fully addresses the prompt with a clear stance, well-developed arguments, and a logical structure. It meets the word count requirement (323 words) and demonstrates strong language proficiency across all criteria, aligning with Band 8 descriptors.
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Relocating large businesses and their workforce from urban centres to rural areas has been proposed as a potential solution to persistent problems such as traffic congestion and housing shortages in major cities. While this approach could bring certain benefits, I largely disagree that it is an effective or comprehensive solution, as it may create new challenges while only partially addressing the original issues.
On the one hand, decentralising industries could help to reduce pressure on overcrowded cities. If major employers were moved to rural regions, fewer people would need to commute within urban areas, which could lead to a decline in traffic congestion. Similarly, the demand for housing in cities might decrease, potentially stabilising or even lowering property prices. Furthermore, rural areas could experience economic growth, as new businesses would create employment opportunities and stimulate local development.
However, the drawbacks of this approach are significant. Firstly, relocating large industries is both costly and logistically complex. Companies depend on established infrastructure, supply chains, and access to skilled labour, all of which are typically concentrated in urban centres. Moving to rural areas may disrupt productivity and reduce overall efficiency. In addition, many employees may be unwilling to relocate due to personal, social, or educational commitments, which could lead to labour shortages or increased staff turnover.
Moreover, this solution risks transferring problems rather than solving them. A sudden influx of workers into rural areas could strain local infrastructure, leading to new issues such as housing shortages, environmental degradation, and increased traffic in previously unaffected regions. Instead of large-scale relocation, governments could invest in improving public transport, promoting remote work, and implementing better urban planning policies to address congestion and housing challenges more sustainably.
In conclusion, although relocating businesses to rural areas may offer some limited benefits, it is not a practical or sufficient solution to urban problems. A more balanced and strategic approach is required to effectively tackle traffic congestion and housing shortages in major cities.
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response8
Evaluation
The response comprehensively addresses all parts of the question, presenting a clear opinion (largely disagree) and discussing both benefits and drawbacks with relevant extensions and support.
Examples
The writer acknowledges potential benefits like reduced urban pressure and rural economic growth, but counters with drawbacks such as logistical complexity and risk of problem transfer.
How to Improve
To reach a higher band, include more specific examples or data to strengthen arguments, such as case studies of relocation efforts or statistical evidence on urban-rural dynamics.
Coherence & Cohesion8
Evaluation
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Cohesive devices are used effectively to guide the reader through the argument.
Examples
Phrases like 'On the one hand,' 'However,' 'Firstly,' 'Moreover,' and 'In conclusion' create smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
How to Improve
Ensure each paragraph maintains a single central topic and that ideas within paragraphs are seamlessly linked for even greater cohesion.
Lexical Resource8
Evaluation
Vocabulary is varied and used accurately, with appropriate technical terms and a good range of expressions to convey precise meanings.
Examples
Terms like 'decentralising,' 'logistically complex,' 'established infrastructure,' 'environmental degradation,' and 'sustainably' demonstrate lexical control.
How to Improve
Incorporate more sophisticated or less common lexical items (e.g., 'exacerbate,' 'mitigation,' 'agglomerative economies') to enhance precision and flair.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy8
Evaluation
A wide range of grammatical structures is employed with high accuracy, including complex sentences and conditional clauses, and errors are minimal.
Examples
Complex sentence structures: 'While this approach could bring certain benefits, I largely disagree...' and 'If major employers were moved to rural regions, fewer people would need to commute...'
How to Improve
Focus on minor refinements such as consistent tense usage and punctuation in compound-complex sentences to achieve error-free production.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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