This band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses the causes of academic pressure among teenagers and suggests possible solutions. While it addresses the topic, improvements in coherence and specificity are needed to enhance the clarity of the arguments presented.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Problem/ Solution · Education · 40 min
Academic pressure is causing mental health issues among teenagers, including anxiety, depression, and burnout.This growing problem is affecting students’ well-being and long-term development.
What are the causes of this issue, and what solutions can be suggested?Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: Hello User. The essay sufficiently addresses the topic by discussing the causes of academic pressure and suggesting solutions. However, there are some areas where the response can be improved for higher band scores, particularly in terms of coherence and accuracy.
Now write your own — and see how your verdict holds up.
Submit your Education essay and receive AI scores across Task Response, Coherence, Lexical Resource, and Grammar — plus a Band 9 model answer for your exact question.
"Knowledge is power", is a well-known quote amongst many people. The world has advanced technologically and academically to exceedingly high levels. With such dramatic growth comes the demand for more knowledgable and experienced individuals in the industry. This has lead to schools introducing the latest and more complex subjects to the youth who are still pursuing their education.
With an introduction of various new topics, an updated syllabus and rich curriculum, students have more exposure to the important topics of their generation. However, it can also be observed that with an increase in syllabus, there is also an increase in the pressure to peroform better and excell in new fields and subjects in school. Students may eventually have to deal with an overwhelming amount of academic study material and demand for better performance. This can lead to burnout, depression and exam anxiety in many students.
As technology advances, so does ease of exposure to a huge volume of data and information. Information is available to the youth at just the tap of their fingertips. While this has definitely made access to study material easier and faster, it also increases the amount of screentime and blue-light exposure to young teenagers. With a more demanding and tech-savvy syllabus, students are compelled to spend more time studying on various topics and subjects using technology such as phones and laptops. This leads to disruption of sleep, the body's basic Circadian rhythm and hormone function.
With a dramatic increase in demand for the youth to be up-to-date on the rapidly advancing world, students are forced to study an overwhelming levels of knowledge as quickly and effectively as possible. This puts an immense amount of pressure to perform and adapt to the constantly evolving world on teenagers which can lead to high levels of stress, anguish and apathy. These emotions over time affect mental health of the youth, leading to depression, anxiety, procrastination, burnout. A decline in mental health in the long-term jeopardizes student performance in academics, strain on the mind and drop in a progressive learning curve.
It is important for educational institutions such as schools and colleges to take their student's mental health and wellbeing into consideration before implementing their academic curriculum. To maintain a mental health, it is important to consider stress management exercises and therapy sessions for youth, monitoring how students respond to the pressure after these mental health exercises.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
4 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| knowledgable | knowledgeable |
| lead | led |
| peroform | perform |
| excell | excel |
Grammatical Mistakes
2 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| "Knowledge is power", is a well-known quote | "Knowledge is power" is a well-known quote | Unnecessary comma; appositive phrase does not need separation here |
| This puts an immense amount of pressure to perform | This puts an immense amount of pressure on students to perform | Missing prepositional phrase 'on students'; necessary to clarify who feels the pressure |
Vocabulary Improvements
3 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| screen time | digital exposure | More precise term encompassing all forms of electronic screen interaction |
| anguish | distress | Distress is more appropriate and applicable in an academic context |
| more exposure | greater exposure | 'Greater' is a more suitable quantifier in an academic context |
Ready to practise? Get instant AI feedback on your verdict.
Submit your Education essay and receive AI scores across all four IELTS criteria — with specific feedback on whether your solutions are specific, realistic, and matched to your problems.
Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6.5
Evaluation
The essay addresses both parts of the prompt – the causes and solutions for academic pressure among teenagers. Nonetheless, the solutions provided are not fully developed and lack specific examples or details in some areas.
Examples
The essay mentions therapy sessions and stress management exercises but does not delve into how these solutions can be effectively implemented.
How to Improve
To improve, the response should provide more specific examples and details on how the suggested solutions can be practically applied in educational settings.
Coherence & Cohesion6.5
Evaluation
The information is presented in a mostly logical manner with appropriate paragraphing. However, there are a few instances where cohesion could be improved for better flow.
Examples
The transition between the introduction of problems in paragraphs two and three is somewhat abrupt.
How to Improve
Using a greater variety of cohesive devices and clearer transitions between ideas will enhance the flow of the essay.
Lexical Resource6.5
Evaluation
The essay demonstrates a varied range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. Some instances of word choice could be improved for precision.
Examples
"More demanding and tech-savvy syllabus" could be rephrased for clarity to better convey the intended meaning.
How to Improve
Continue to expand vocabulary range and accuracy by incorporating more precise and varied expressions.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6.5
Evaluation
The grammatical range and accuracy are good, with a mix of simple and complex structures. Some minor errors reduce clarity.
Examples
Errors such as "lead to schools introducing" (should be 'leads to') and "the pressure to peroform better and excell" (spelling mistakes) are present.
How to Improve
Proofreading for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing will improve overall accuracy and coherence of the text.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
RELATED ESSAYS
01
Drug abuse has become a growing concern in many societies. What are the factors that contribute to the increasing problem of drug abuse in our society, and how can we address them? Write at least 250 words.
In this century, the topic of incresing of drug abuses has become a subject of great importance and frequently discussed by the people all over the world. Some ...
02
In many schools, students are increasingly distracted by digital devices during lessons, which affects their concentration and classroom engagement.What problems does this cause, and what solutions can be implemented to address them? Write at least 250 words.
In modern era, there is an increasing debate about digital devices in schools causes destructing by students which leads to off-focus and intrest in accademics....
03
Academic pressure is causing mental health issues among teenagers, including anxiety, depression, and burnout.This growing problem is affecting students’ well-being and long-term development.What are the causes of this issue, and what solutions can be suggested?Write at least 250 words.
In recent years, academic pressure has emerged as a major contributor to mental health problems among teenagers. With increasing competition and expectations in...
04
Student behaviour is a serious issue in many schools around the world. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Write at least 250 words.
Problem and Solution Essay Template (with Signposting Language – 250+ Words)
In recent years, many countries have been facing a variety of social and economic c...
05
Academic pressure is causing mental health issues among teenagers, including anxiety, depression, and burnout.This growing problem is affecting students’ well-being and long-term development.What are the causes of this issue, and what solutions can be suggested?Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, academic pressure is a reason for health related issues among young people, which includes anxiety, depression and burnout. Which has become a rising ...