This Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay explores the complexities of internet communication, highlighting clarity and coherence issues. While it presents the advantages and disadvantages, the analysis lacks depth and specific examples, essential for enhancing its persuasiveness and overall impact.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Advantages/ Disadvantages · Internet · 40 min
The internet connects people from different places and makes the world feel smaller. Discuss the arguments for and against the idea that the internet has simplified communication between individuals and provide your own opinion on the matter.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay addresses the question and discusses both sides of the argument, providing a personal stance. However, it lacks a fully developed analysis and clear examples, impacting its overall coherence and persuasiveness.
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As it's known widely, the internet is a place that connects people of different backgrounds, ethnicity, groups, age and even gender. It has aid smooth communications, and no longer hurdles" title="Correction: there are no longer hurdles">there's no longer hurdles to have a conversation with someone else. While these some of the benefits there are also a few negative side to the internet, such as lack of social interaction, and partaking in events making people feel that they can do anything from any part of the world without stepping out from their zone.
One major advantage of the internet is the connectivity it brings to people from any part of the world making communction and connection easier. It also gives education a great deal because people can now acquire knowledge without having to move around and sometimes without having to pay a fee. The internet also helps people who are not privileged to travel to see the other part of the world from where they are. The internet is a helping technology for people because of it's advantages.
The idea of the internet making the world feel smaller can be true because the internet does not provide physical interaction and does not help certain people. For example, an introverted person sees the internet as an opportunity not to assoiciate outside the internet space, they reley fully on the internet making it difficult to have a physical interaction with other people. Also people have access to different cultures and traditions of different part of the world, making the world feel smaller.
Inspite of all it's disadvantages, I still believe the internet is here to make the world better and not smaller.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
4 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| communction | communication |
| assoiciate | associate |
| reley | rely |
| inspite | in spite |
Grammatical Mistakes
7 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| it has aid smooth communications | it has aided smooth communication | Incorrect verb form: 'has' should be followed by the past participle 'aided' |
| there's no longer hurdles | there are no longer hurdles | Subject-verb agreement: 'hurdles' is plural and requires 'are' |
| these some of the benefits | these are some of the benefits | Missing verb 'are' for the clause to be complete |
| a few negative side | a few negative sides | Article-noun agreement: 'side' should be plural when preceded by 'a few' |
| from where they are | from where they reside | Word use: 'reside' is more appropriate in this context |
| of it's advantages | of its advantages | Possessive form: 'its' is the possessive form of 'it', not 'it's' |
| different part of the world | different parts of the world | Noun number: 'parts' should be plural when referring to multiple sections |
Vocabulary Improvements
3 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| no longer hurdles | no longer obstacles | More precise term: 'obstacles' is more apt in the context of challenges |
| making people feel that they can do anything | creating the perception that people can accomplish anything | Formal expression: 'creating the perception' is more academic and clear |
| helps people who are not privileged to travel | assists individuals unable to travel | More formal and precise: 'assists individuals' improves formality and precision |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The essay responds to the task by discussing both sides of the argument and providing an opinion. However, the analysis is not in-depth, and some points are not fully developed.
Examples
The essay mentions the internet's role in connectivity, education, and cultural exposure, but lacks specific examples or detailed explanations.
How to Improve
Include more detailed examples and explanations to support each argument. Expand on how these points impact communication and provide clear evidence or scenarios.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay lacks clear organizational structure and logical progression, making it difficult to follow the argument. Some ideas are not clearly linked.
Examples
Transitions between ideas are weak, especially when shifting between advantages and disadvantages.
How to Improve
Use clear paragraphing to separate different points. Employ cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas.
Lexical Resource5.5
Evaluation
The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary, with occasional errors in word choice and collocations.
Examples
Errors such as 'communction' and 'assoiciate' occur, and the vocabulary is repetitive.
How to Improve
Work on expanding your vocabulary range and ensure correct usage by reading more and practicing with varied lexical exercises.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
The grammatical range is limited, with frequent inaccuracies in structure and sentence formation.
Examples
Grammatical mistakes such as 'aid smooth communications' and 'inspite of' affect clarity.
How to Improve
Focus on improving sentence structure and grammatical accuracy through grammar exercises, especially in subject-verb agreement and article usage.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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