This Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses the advantages and disadvantages of internet communication. Key issues include clarity and grammatical inaccuracies that hinder the essay's effectiveness. Use this feedback to enhance your own essay writing skills.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Advantages/ Disadvantages Β· Internet Β· 40 min
The internet connects people from different places and makes the world feel smaller. Discuss the arguments for and against the idea that the internet has simplified communication between individuals and provide your own opinion on the matter.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both for and against arguments and providing an opinion. However, it is under the required word count (245 vs 250 words), which limits the development of ideas. Arguments are presented but lack depth and detailed support. There are frequent grammatical and lexical errors that affect clarity and precision.
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In the recent days, the internet evolved in such a way, making individuals to connect from various regions across the world. Although, internet had a significant role in this digital world, it holds both advantages and disadvantages. However, internet helps people to have better communications between each other.
Firstly, there are many apps developed in smart phone by which people started communicating through them using internet.Apps such as whatsap, instagram, facebook, e-mail and etc... are user friendly, where people can message and also communicate through vedio calls. For instance, people can easily stay in touch with their family members who are living in different countries. Secondly, it is observed people across the world collobarte with each other and work together, conduct meetings virtually using various apps and send data through mails using internet especially in the fields like IT sector, computer science and etc...
However, they are some drawbacks. One major issue is people communicating through online, can reduce face to face interaction. Though vedio calls are available, the emotional touch might be lost. For instance, messages can sometimes be misunderstood because, it is difficult to understand the body language or tone of the opposite person which leads to arguements.
To my mind, I would agree that internet made things simpler in recent days. And this solely depends on individuals to restrict themself from internet without addicting to it and utilizing it in an appropriate way which does not harm any creature in this world.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
5 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| whatsap | |
| vedio | video |
| collobarte | collaborate |
| arguements | arguments |
| themself | themselves |
Grammatical Mistakes
11 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| In the recent days | In recent days | Unnecessary article 'the'; 'recent days' does not require a definite article |
| making individuals to connect | making individuals connect | After 'making', use the base form of the verb without 'to' |
| Although, internet had | Although the internet has | Comma misuse after 'although' and tense inconsistency; use present tense 'has' for current relevance |
| it holds both advantages and disadvantages | it has both advantages and disadvantages | 'Has' is more standard than 'holds' for expressing possession of attributes |
| However, internet helps | However, the internet helps | Missing definite article 'the' before 'internet' |
| to have better communications between each other | to have better communication with each other | 'Communication' is uncountable here; 'with each other' is more idiomatic than 'between each other' |
| they are some drawbacks | there are some drawbacks | 'They are' is incorrect for existential statements; use 'there are' |
| people communicating through online, can reduce | people communicating online can reduce | Run-on sentence; remove comma after introductory phrase |
| because, it is difficult | because it is difficult | No comma should follow 'because' when it introduces a dependent clause |
| internet made things simpler | the internet has made things simpler | Missing article 'the' and use present perfect tense for actions affecting the present |
| restrict themself from internet without addicting to it | restrict themselves from the internet without becoming addicted to it | Pronoun error 'themself' should be 'themselves'; missing article 'the'; 'addicting' is incorrect, use 'becoming addicted' |
Vocabulary Improvements
12 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| In the recent days | Recently | More concise and formal alternative |
| making individuals to connect | enabling individuals to connect | More precise and formal verb |
| better communications between each other | better communication with each other | Improved collocation and correctness |
| apps developed in smart phone | apps developed for smartphones | Correct preposition and compound noun |
| and etc... | and so on | Avoid Latin abbreviations like 'etc.' in formal writing; use English equivalents |
| user friendly | user-friendly | Hyphenate compound adjectives when they precede nouns or function as predicates |
| send data through mails | send data via email | More precise term; 'email' is uncountable in this context |
| face to face interaction | face-to-face interaction | Hyphenate compound adjectives for clarity |
| emotional touch | emotional connection | More accurate and commonly used term |
| opposite person | other person | More natural and clear phrasing |
| To my mind | In my opinion | More academic and formal expression |
| any creature | anyone | More appropriate term when referring to people in a general sense |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The response covers the task by presenting advantages and disadvantages of the internet simplifying communication, and includes a clear opinion. However, ideas are underdeveloped, and the essay falls short of the minimum word count, reducing the effectiveness of the argumentation.
Examples
Advantages mention apps like WhatsApp for messaging and video calls; disadvantages cite reduced face-to-face interaction and misunderstandings. The opinion states that the internet simplifies things but depends on individual use.
How to Improve
Extend each argument with more specific examples and explanations. Ensure the essay meets the word count by elaborating on points, such as discussing broader societal impacts or providing more personal anecdotes.
Coherence & Cohesion5.5
Evaluation
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for each side, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is occasionally disrupted by awkward transitions and minor paragraphing issues.
Examples
Use of 'However' to introduce drawbacks is appropriate, but phrases like 'they are some drawbacks' (incorrectly using 'they' for 'there') break flow. Paragraphs are present but could be more tightly linked.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'on the other hand', 'furthermore') to connect ideas smoothly. Ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence and that sentences within paragraphs logically follow one another.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is limited and contains several spelling errors and imprecise word choices, which occasionally hinder communication.
Examples
Misspellings: 'vedio' for 'video', 'collobarte' for 'collaborate', 'arguements' for 'arguments'. Redundant phrases like 'and etc...' (should be 'etc.' or 'and so on').
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary related to technology and communication. Practice correct spelling and use more varied and accurate terms. Avoid repetitions by using synonyms (e.g., 'applications' instead of 'apps' occasionally).
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
Grammar is characterized by frequent errors and simple sentence structures, reducing clarity and range.
Examples
Incorrect constructions: 'making individuals to connect' (should be 'making individuals connect'), 'they are some drawbacks' (should be 'there are some drawbacks'), 'can reduce face to face interaction' (should be 'can reduce face-to-face interaction').
How to Improve
Focus on verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Practice complex sentence structures (e.g., relative clauses, conditional sentences) to increase grammatical range. Proofread to eliminate common errors.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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