This Band 5.5 IELTS essay discusses the advantages and disadvantages of internet communication. While it explores relevant examples, the primary issues include coherence in structure and limited vocabulary range. Enhancing these areas can lead to a more effective essay.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Advantages/ Disadvantages Β· Internet Β· 40 min
The internet connects people from different places and makes the world feel smaller. Discuss the arguments for and against the idea that the internet has simplified communication between individuals and provide your own opinion on the matter.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count of 293 words and addresses the topic by discussing both arguments for and against the internet simplifying communication, along with a clear opinion. However, limitations in vocabulary range, grammatical accuracy, and coherence reduce its effectiveness, resulting in an overall Band 5.5.
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Nowaday, with the development of technology and the avaliability of internet which faciliate our life in all different espects . since the network allow for people communication and improve the world . Although some people argue this since it reduce face to face interaction .While in my perspective it smiplify the life and make social life easier .
In the recent years people tend to spend most of their time on social media to communicate with their families and friends. For instance people who live abroad as it will be hard for them to travel each season to their countries . Moreover in many cases indiviual who travel to study or to work in far countries they cant travel back to their home . Internet will provide them with the opportunity to see their family members in video call and to share some moments with them .Further more in some tough circumstance like pandmics such as corona virus many people couldnt visit their families they had to stay at home for their safety so network and social media programms aid them to stay in touch with their relatives and friends .
although some argued that internet has negatives. one of the main disadvantages is that it reduce face to face interactions. If people relies mostly on internet for communication, they will lose the apportunity to understande the facial expression and emotions of their friends or families members .
In conclusion . Internet become necessary in our daily life to connect with people in different regions . although some people argue since its lack face to face interaction and it will be hard to understand peoples feeling. In my opinion i think there are several advantages in different circumstances negatives" title="Correction: so it outweighs the negatives">so its outweigh the negatives
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
12 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| Nowaday | Nowadays |
| avaliability | availability |
| faciliate | facilitate |
| espects | aspects |
| smimplify | simplifies |
| pandmics | pandemics |
| corona virus | coronavirus |
| couldnt | couldn't |
| apportunity | opportunity |
| understande | understand |
| indiviual | individual |
| programms | programs |
Grammatical Mistakes
21 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| since the network allow for people communication | since the network allows for people's communication | Subject-verb agreement: 'network' is singular, so 'allows'; 'people communication' should be possessive or rephrased |
| it reduce face to face interaction | it reduces face-to-face interaction | Subject-verb agreement: 'it' is singular, so 'reduces'; 'face-to-face' should be hyphenated |
| in my perspective it smiplify the life | from my perspective, it simplifies life | Preposition use: 'from my perspective' is standard; subject-verb agreement: 'it simplifies'; article use: 'life' without 'the' is more natural |
| make social life easier | makes social life easier | Subject-verb agreement: 'it' requires 'makes' |
| In the recent years | In recent years | Article misuse: 'the' is unnecessary before 'recent years' |
| people who live abroad as it will be hard | people who live abroad find it hard | Sentence structure: 'as' is misused; should be rephrased for clarity |
| indiviual who travel to study or to work in far countries they cant travel back | individuals who travel to study or work in faraway countries can't travel back | Subject-verb agreement: 'individuals' is plural, so 'travel'; 'far' should be 'faraway' or 'distant'; 'cant' should be 'can't' |
| Internet will provide them | The internet provides them | Article use: 'the internet' is standard; verb tense: present tense 'provides' for general statements |
| Further more | Furthermore | Spelling and conjunction: 'Furthermore' is one word |
| pandmics such as corona virus | pandemics such as the coronavirus | Spelling correction for 'pandemics'; article use: 'the coronavirus' |
| many people couldnt visit their families they had to stay | many people couldn't visit their families; they had to stay | Run-on sentence: should be separated with a semicolon or period |
| network and social media programms aid them | the internet and social media programs help them | Article use: 'the internet'; spelling correction for 'programs'; 'help' is more common than 'aid' |
| although some argued | although some argue | Verb tense: present tense 'argue' for current arguments |
| it reduce face to face interactions | it reduces face-to-face interactions | Subject-verb agreement: 'it reduces'; hyphenate 'face-to-face' |
| If people relies mostly on internet | If people rely mostly on the internet | Subject-verb agreement: 'people' plural, so 'rely'; article use: 'the internet' |
| to understande the facial expression | to understand facial expressions | Spelling correction for 'understand'; pluralize 'expressions' |
| In conclusion . Internet become necessary | In conclusion, the internet has become necessary | Sentence fragment: period after 'conclusion' should be a comma; verb tense: 'has become' for present perfect |
| although some people argue since its lack | although some people argue that it lacks | Conjunction use: 'that' is needed; 'its' should be 'it' for the verb 'lacks' |
| it will be hard to understand peoples feeling | it is hard to understand people's feelings | Verb tense: 'is' for general truth; possessive 'people's'; plural 'feelings' |
| In my opinion i think | In my opinion, I think | Capitalization: 'I' should be capitalized; redundancy but grammatically corrected |
| so its outweigh the negatives | so it outweighs the negatives | Subject-verb agreement: 'it outweighs'; 'its' should be 'it' |
Vocabulary Improvements
13 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| faciliate our life | facilitate our lives | 'Life' should be plural 'lives' to refer to people in general; 'facilitate' is acceptable but 'enhance' might be more precise |
| all different espects | various aspects | 'Various aspects' is more precise and academic than 'all different espects' |
| people communication | interpersonal communication | 'Interpersonal communication' is a more formal and specific term |
| improve the world | enhance global connectivity | Vague; 'enhance global connectivity' is more specific and academic |
| simplify the life | simplify life | Article misuse; 'simplify life' is more natural without 'the' |
| make social life easier | facilitate social interactions | More formal and precise; 'facilitate' is better than 'make easier' in academic writing |
| tough circumstance | difficult circumstances | 'Difficult circumstances' is more standard and formal than 'tough' |
| aid them | assist them | 'Assist' is slightly more formal than 'aid' in this context |
| negatives | disadvantages | 'Disadvantages' is more appropriate in formal writing than 'negatives' |
| lose the apportunity | miss the opportunity | 'Miss the opportunity' is a better collocation than 'lose the opportunity' |
| understande the facial expression | interpret facial expressions | 'Interpret facial expressions' is more precise than 'understand' for non-verbal cues |
| necessary in our daily life | essential in our daily lives | 'Essential' is stronger than 'necessary'; 'lives' plural for general reference |
| outweigh the negatives | outweigh the disadvantages | 'Disadvantages' is more formal than 'negatives' |
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Task Response6
Evaluation
The essay covers all parts of the task: it presents arguments for and against, and states the writer's opinion. However, the development of ideas is uneven; the 'for' arguments are supported with examples (e.g., people living abroad, pandemics), while the 'against' arguments are briefly mentioned without elaboration.
Examples
Examples include video calls for families during travel or pandemics, but the disadvantage of reduced face-to-face interaction is only superficially addressed.
How to Improve
To improve, expand on the counterarguments with specific examples or evidence. Also, provide more detailed reasoning to support the opinion that advantages outweigh disadvantages, ensuring balanced coverage of both sides.
Coherence & Cohesion5.5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, paragraphing is inconsistent (e.g., a long first body paragraph and a very short second one), and cohesive devices are used mechanically or incorrectly, affecting the flow.
Examples
Transitions like 'Further more' are misspelled, and sentences such as 'although some argued that internet has negatives' lack smooth connection to previous ideas. Punctuation errors (e.g., missing capitals after full stops) disrupt coherence.
How to Improve
Improve paragraph management by ensuring each paragraph focuses on one main idea. Use a range of linking words accurately (e.g., 'however,' 'in addition') and proofread to correct punctuation and sentence boundaries.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word choices. While some topic-related terms are used, they often appear in incorrect forms, hindering clarity.
Examples
Misspellings: 'avaliability' (availability), 'espects' (aspects), 'faciliate' (facilitate), 'smiplify' (simplify), 'pandmics' (pandemics), 'apportunity' (opportunity). Simple vocabulary dominates, such as 'people,' 'internet,' 'communication.'
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary range by learning synonyms and collocations related to technology and communication. Practice spelling and word formation through reading and writing exercises. Use a dictionary to verify correct terms.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
The essay demonstrates only a limited range of sentence structures, with frequent grammatical errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation. Errors sometimes obscure meaning.
Examples
Subject-verb agreement: 'it reduce' (it reduces), 'people relies' (people rely). Sentence fragments: 'In conclusion . Internet become necessary...' Punctuation issues: missing capitals after periods, run-on sentences.
How to Improve
Focus on mastering basic grammar rules, such as verb agreement and tense consistency. Practice writing complex sentences with clauses. Use punctuation correctly to separate ideas. Reviewing grammar exercises and seeking feedback on writing can help.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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