This Band 5.5 IELTS essay discusses the advantages and disadvantages of internet communication. Key issues include vocabulary limitations and clarity, impacting overall effectiveness. Enhancing these aspects can significantly elevate your writing score.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Advantages/ Disadvantages · Internet · 40 min
The internet connects people from different places and makes the world feel smaller. Discuss the arguments for and against the idea that the internet has simplified communication between individuals and provide your own opinion on the matter.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (301 words) and addresses the prompt by discussing arguments for and against the internet simplifying communication, as well as providing a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is shallow and lacks specific examples. There are noticeable vocabulary and grammar errors that affect clarity. The structure is adequate but lacks cohesive sophistication.
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Nowadays, the internet is a widespread, and it connects people from different countries. As a result, the world feel smaller. In my opinion, communicating with other people from different places by using the internet has a large number of advantages since everyone can learn about other nations' culture. This essay will discuss the arguments for and against the idea that the internet has simplified communication between individuals.
To begin with, people can exchange the cultures and languages between individuals. In addition, communicating with foreigners helps in learning languages and helpful in the society. For instance, young people can learn foreign languages through the social media applications, and they can also get a lot of international friends that can improve their communication and social skills. Furthermore, people can gain direct insight into other tradition, food, and daily life, which is more authentic than reading about them.
However, the drawbacks of talking with people from different places cannot be ignored. Firstly, not all the foreigners are not good and friendly people, they may be hackers or stalkers. Therefore, people must take care of theirselves and they must know well about their talking partner. This is because some hackers can hack the other people's social media account and get the privacy information, such as address and telephone number. Another drawback is that language barrier and misinterpretation. For example, people can misunderstand the meaning and the view of point when their mother language is not the same as their talking partner's language.
To sum up, the internet links people from different countries, and youngsters learn foreign languages" title="Correction: helps youngsters learn foreign languages">helps youngsters in learning the foreign languages. However, people must not be careless about the danger of online chatting, and they should mind the language barrier. From my perspective, I believe that the internet has assisted the people through the various ways.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
1 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| theirselves | themselves |
Grammatical Mistakes
10 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| the internet is a widespread | the internet is widespread | Unnecessary article 'a' before an adjective without a following noun |
| the world feel smaller | the world feels smaller | Subject-verb agreement: 'world' is singular, so verb should be 'feels' |
| helpful in the society | helpful in society | Unnecessary article 'the' before 'society' when used in a general sense |
| not all the foreigners are not good | not all foreigners are good | Double negative creates incorrect meaning; remove 'not' after 'are' |
| take care of theirselves | take care of themselves | Incorrect reflexive pronoun; 'themselves' is the correct form |
| know well about their talking partner | know their talking partner well | Awkward phrase; standard word order is 'know someone well' |
| hack the other people's social media account | hack other people's social media accounts | Unnecessary 'the'; 'accounts' should be plural to match 'people' |
| another drawback is that language barrier | another drawback is the language barrier | Missing definite article 'the' before 'language barrier' |
| view of point | point of view | Incorrect phrase; the standard expression is 'point of view' |
| helps youngsters in learning the foreign languages | helps youngsters learn foreign languages | Unnecessary preposition 'in' and article 'the'; better as infinitive |
Vocabulary Improvements
5 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| get a lot of international friends | make many international friends | 'Get' is informal; 'make' is more appropriate for forming friendships. 'A lot of' can be replaced with 'many' for a more academic tone |
| view of point | point of view | Incorrect collocation; 'point of view' is the standard term |
| mother language | native language | 'Mother language' is non-standard; 'native language' or 'mother tongue' is preferred |
| youngsters | young people | 'Youngsters' is informal; 'young people' or 'youth' is more suitable for academic writing |
| mind the language barrier | be mindful of the language barrier | 'Mind' is too informal in this context; 'be mindful of' is more formal and precise |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response
5.5
Evaluation
The essay responds to the task by presenting both sides of the argument and includes the writer's opinion. However, the points are simplistic and underdeveloped. For example, the benefit of cultural exchange is only mentioned briefly, and the counterargument about hackers is vague. The opinion is stated but not strongly supported.
Examples
The paragraph on advantages cites 'learning languages through social media' without any concrete examples or explanation. The disadvantage paragraph includes 'hackers can get privacy information' but does not elaborate on how this relates to communication simplicity.
How to Improve
Develop each argument with specific examples or evidence. For instance, explain how instant messaging or video calls have made cross-border communication faster. For drawbacks, discuss how misinterpretation can lead to misunderstandings even with translation tools. Clearly link each point back to the idea of 'simplified communication'.
Coherence and Cohesion
5.5
Evaluation
The essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs (for and against), and a conclusion. However, transitions between sentences are weak, and ideas within paragraphs are not always logically connected. The use of cohesive devices is limited to basic phrases like 'To begin with' and 'However'.
Examples
In the first body paragraph, the shift from 'exchange cultures' to 'learning languages' to 'getting international friends' lacks clear sequencing. The conclusion repeats points without synthesizing them.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'in contrast', 'as a result'). Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that subsequent sentences support it. Use pronouns or synonyms to avoid repetition and improve flow.
Lexical Resource
5
Evaluation
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive. There are several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'theirselves' (incorrect), 'view of point' (instead of 'point of view'), and 'privacy information' (instead of 'private information'). The range is limited, with no use of less common or idiomatic expressions.
Examples
Phrases like 'a large number of advantages' are acceptable but simple. The term 'hackers or stalkers' is appropriate but not expanded. 'Direct insight into other tradition' shows grammatical misuse (singular/plural consistency).
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by learning topic-specific terms (e.g., 'global connectivity', 'cultural immersion', 'digital footprint'). Avoid errors by proofreading for common collocations. Use synonyms to vary expression (e.g., instead of 'people', use 'individuals', 'users', 'participants').
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
5
Evaluation
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that affect clarity. Subject-verb agreement issues ('the world feel'), double negatives ('not all the foreigners are not good'), incorrect reflexive pronoun ('theirselves'), and article omissions are common. Sentence structures are mostly simple with few complex constructions.
Examples
'the world feel smaller' should be 'feels'; 'people must take care of theirselves' should be 'themselves'; 'they may be hackers or stalkers' is a run-on idea. The use of 'when their mother language is not the same' lacks a clear subject.
How to Improve
Practice subject-verb agreement and pronoun consistency. Learn to form complex sentences using subordinate clauses (e.g., 'Although the internet facilitates communication, it also poses risks such as...'). Review basic grammar rules for articles, prepositions, and plurals. Write shorter, clearer sentences if unsure.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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