This Band 5 IELTS essay discusses the impact of the internet on communication. While it highlights some positive aspects, it fails to balance the argument effectively, neglecting detailed development of the negative sides. Improving structure and vocabulary could enhance clarity and coherence.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Advantages/ Disadvantages · Internet · 40 min
The internet connects people from different places and makes the world feel smaller. Discuss the arguments for and against the idea that the internet has simplified communication between individuals and provide your own opinion on the matter.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (271 words) but only partially addresses the task. It attempts to discuss arguments for and against the internet simplifying communication, but the arguments are underdeveloped, with a disproportionate focus on one side (positive aspects like money transfer are only tangentially relevant). The opinion is stated but not well supported. Grammatical errors and limited lexical range further reduce clarity. Overall, the essay demonstrates a limited ability to respond to the task, leading to a band 5.0.
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Today in this world, people usually communicate with eachother through internet and it is considered the most reliable way of communication. Any individual sitting at one place can easily contact with another person at any part of this world, and the world seems smaller. This really simplified people`s life in way of communication in my opinion.
Nowadays mostly people lived abroad for their livelihood and they have the only feasible facility to connect to their lovedone is internet. By using it, someone feels very comfortable sitting in their own space and talk with their family. Sometimes sending video messages and voice messages when the other person is not available. Moreover one can easily transfer money to anywhere in the world by using various applications such as bank transfer apps and other private facilities like taptap send. With such approach any person can have a peace of mind that nothing will happened to their families if he or she is not presnt with them.
While talking about the negative aspect of internet is that , people become sometimes only rely on such apps and if the other person is currently not available or become offline they became very anxious about them. Moreover the I can perceive" title="Correction: greatest drawback I can perceive">biggest drawback that i can feel is that, people often used internet facility to somehow to demolish other person`s privacy if they have any sort of disargument or any dispute in between them.
So talking about the conclusion, my opinion is that the internet has more positive impact regarding communication and it is the most reliable source nowadays. Their negative impact is totally depend on the persons own choices.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
6 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| eachother | each other |
| people`s | people's |
| lovedone | loved one |
| presnt | present |
| disargument | disagreement |
| i | I |
Grammatical Mistakes
13 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| through internet | through the internet | Missing article 'the' before 'internet' |
| contact with another person | contact another person | 'contact' is a transitive verb and does not require 'with' |
| simplified people`s life in way of communication | simplifies people's lives in terms of communication | Verb tense should be present; 'life' plural; 'in way' should be 'in terms of' |
| mostly people lived abroad | most people live abroad | 'mostly' is an adverb; use 'most' as adjective. 'lived' should be present tense 'live' |
| the only feasible facility to connect to their lovedone is internet | the only feasible way to connect to their loved ones is the internet | 'facility' is not appropriate; use 'way'. Missing article before 'internet' |
| sit in their own space and talk | sitting in their own space and talking | Parallel structure after 'feels comfortable' requires gerunds |
| Sometimes sending video messages and voice messages when the other person is not available | They sometimes send video messages and voice messages when the other person is not available | Sentence fragment; add subject 'they' and change 'sending' to 'send' |
| a peace of mind | peace of mind | Remove the article 'a' as 'peace of mind' is uncountable |
| nothing will happened | nothing will happen | After 'will', use base form of verb 'happen' |
| people become sometimes only rely on such apps | people sometimes rely only on such apps | Remove 'become' and reorder adverbs; 'rely' is the main verb |
| become offline they became very anxious | goes offline, they become very anxious | 'become offline' is not standard; use 'goes offline'. 'became' should be present 'become' |
| people often used internet facility to somehow to demolish other person`s privacy | people often use the internet to somehow demolish another person's privacy | Verb tense should be present; remove 'facility' and extra 'to'; possessive plural |
| their negative impact is totally depend on the persons own choices | its negative impact is totally dependent on the person's own choices | Possessive pronoun 'their' should refer to internet, so 'its'; 'depend' should be adjective 'dependent'; 'persons' should be singular possessive |
Vocabulary Improvements
5 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| feasible facility | viable means | 'Facility' is a physical amenity or function; 'means' is better for a method of communication |
| demolish other person`s privacy | invade others' privacy | 'Demolish' is too strong and informal for privacy; 'invade' is the appropriate collocation |
| biggest drawback that i can feel | greatest drawback I can perceive | 'Feel' is vague for intellectual observation; 'perceive' is more precise |
| totally depend | completely dependent | 'Totally' is informal; use 'completely' or 'entirely' for formal writing |
| private facilities like taptap send | private services like TapTap Send | 'Facilities' suggests physical places; 'services' is correct for financial apps |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5
Evaluation
The essay addresses the prompt but does not fully discuss both sides in a balanced way. The 'for' argument is mostly about staying in touch with family and sending money, which is only partially relevant. The 'against' side is very brief and lacks concrete examples. The writer's opinion is clear but not convincingly justified. There is no conclusion that synthesizes the arguments.
Examples
'the only feasible facility to connect to their lovedone is internet' – introduces a positive point but does not explore it. The negative aspect is limited to anxiety and privacy, with no real development.
How to Improve
To improve, ensure each side of the argument is given roughly equal weight with specific examples (e.g., how the internet enables instant global communication vs. how it can lead to misunderstandings or isolation). Support your opinion with reasoning that connects back to the arguments presented.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure (introduction, two body paragraphs, conclusion) but lacks clear topic sentences and logical progression. The first body paragraph mixes positive points (video messages, money transfer) without a clear focus. The second body paragraph shifts to negatives, but the transition is abrupt. Cohesive devices are rare and repetitive ('moreover', 'while talking about').
Examples
'Nowadays mostly people lived abroad...' – no clear link to the previous sentence. The phrase 'So talking about the conclusion' is informal and poorly placed.
How to Improve
Use clear paragraphing: one paragraph for arguments in favour, one for arguments against, and a final paragraph for your opinion. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence. Use a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'on the one hand... on the other hand', 'furthermore', 'however', 'in contrast').
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is basic and repetitive. Key terms such as 'internet', 'communication', 'people' are used multiple times with little variation. There are some inappropriate word choices ('lovedone' instead of 'loved ones', 'presnt' instead of 'present', 'disargument' instead of 'disagreement'). No use of less common or idiomatic language.
Examples
'the most reliable way of communication', 'any individual sitting at one place can easily contact with another person' – simple and often grammatically awkward. 'taptap send' is unclear.
How to Improve
Expand your vocabulary by learning synonyms for common words (e.g., 'connect' → 'communicate', 'interact', 'engage'). Use more precise terms (e.g., 'instant messaging', 'video conferencing' instead of just 'internet'). Avoid informal or invented words and proofread for spelling.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy4.5
Evaluation
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that affect understanding. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('people lived', 'if he or she is not presnt'), incorrect prepositions ('communicate with eachother through internet'), missing articles ('the most reliable source nowadays'), and run-on sentences. Sentence structures are mostly simple or compound with little complexity.
Examples
'This really simplified people`s life in way of communication in my opinion.' – missing article and awkward phrasing. 'By using it, someone feels very comfortable sitting in their own space and talk with their family.' – inconsistent verb tense ('feel' then 'talk').
How to Improve
Focus on basic grammar rules: use correct verb tenses (present simple for general truths), ensure subject-verb agreement, and use articles (a/an/the) correctly. Practice combining ideas using subordinate clauses (e.g., 'Although the internet simplifies communication, it can also lead to anxiety'). Proofread your writing to catch obvious errors.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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