This band 5 IELTS essay on the internet's impact on communication presents key arguments but struggles with grammar and development. While it touches on the convenience and dangers of online interactions, the lack of depth in the discussion and frequent language errors hold back a higher score.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Advantages/ Disadvantages Β· Internet Β· 40 min
The internet connects people from different places and makes the world feel smaller. Discuss the arguments for and against the idea that the internet has simplified communication between individuals and provide your own opinion on the matter.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (312 words) and addresses the prompt by presenting arguments for and against the idea that the internet simplifies communication, and includes a brief personal opinion. However, the discussion is superficial, lacks balance (the 'for' argument is underdeveloped), and the opinion is vague. There are noticeable errors in grammar, vocabulary choice, and cohesion that prevent a higher score. Overall, the essay demonstrates a limited ability to respond to the task with sufficient depth and accuracy.
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Nowadays, the internet joined several people from different places and makes the world feel smaller. This essay will propose the arguments for and against the idea that the internet has simplified communication between individuals and provide my own opinion on the matter.
To begin with, as the technology is developing rapidly, communication is able to use better from different places and countries. Communication becomes more convenient for all people. As a result, people can chat with various people from different countries. Secondly, people are able to know different cultures and new things about oversea. In addition, they can make new friends and share about of them. Consequently, they can experience of talking with foreigners and improve English speaking skill. Furthermore, people can study new languages and practice with foreigners.
However, the drawbacks of talking with people from different places cannot be ignored. Not all the foreigners may not be a good person. Just like in any group of people, individuals vary in their character, intentions, and behavior, regardless of their nationality or background. While foreigners may often be viewed with curiosity or goodwill, itβs important to recognize that people from any country can have differing moral and intentions. For example, the person from a different country might attempt to scam tourists or engage in dishonest activities. The latter case illustrates that individuals from anywhere can behave badly, and their nationality is not a guarantee of their character. In addition, some foreigner can threataned from the internet and do text bullying. So that it can affects on mental health and well-being, especially, teenagers.
To sum up, the internet connects people from different places, and help youngsters in learning the foreign languages. However, people must be caeful about the dangers of online chatting because some foreigners are untrustworthy. In my opinion, I believe that the internet has assisted the people through the varied ways.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
3 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| oversea | overseas |
| caeful | careful |
| threataned | threatened |
Grammatical Mistakes
10 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| the internet joined several people | the internet connects several people | Verb tense inconsistency; use present tense for general truth |
| communication is able to use better | communication can be used better | Incorrect active voice; communication is not the agent, passive voice needed |
| share about of them | share about themselves | Incorrect preposition and pronoun; use 'themselves' and remove 'of' |
| experience of talking | experience talking | Unnecessary preposition 'of' after 'can experience' |
| improve English speaking skill | improve their English speaking skills | Missing possessive and plural; skill should be plural or possessive |
| Not all the foreigners may not be a good person | Not all foreigners are good people | Double negative and subject-verb agreement; remove 'may not' and change 'a good person' to 'good people' |
| some foreigner can threataned | some foreigners can threaten | Plural needed, verb form after 'can' should be base form |
| it can affects on mental health | it can affect mental health | 'affects' should be base form 'affect' after modal, and remove 'on' |
| the internet connects people from different places, and help youngsters | the internet connects people from different places, and helps youngsters | Subject-verb agreement; 'the internet' is singular, so verb 'helps' |
| the internet has assisted the people through the varied ways | the internet has assisted people in various ways | Remove 'the' before 'people', change 'through the varied ways' to 'in various ways' |
Vocabulary Improvements
7 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| joined several people | connected several people | 'joined' is less precise; 'connected' better conveys linking via internet |
| know different cultures | learn about different cultures | 'know' is too vague; 'learn about' is more accurate for acquiring knowledge |
| new things about oversea | new things about overseas cultures | Misspelling and vague; specify 'overseas cultures' or 'foreign countries' |
| share about of them | share their experiences | Vague phrase; more precise to say 'share their experiences' |
| do text bullying | engage in cyberbullying | Informal phrase; more formal and accurate term is 'cyberbullying' |
| help youngsters in learning the foreign languages | help youngsters learn foreign languages | Remove unnecessary 'the' and simplify 'in learning' to 'learn' |
| differing moral and intentions | differing morals and intentions | 'moral' as noun should be plural 'morals' meaning ethical principles |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both sides and giving an opinion, but the arguments are simplistic and lack development. The 'for' side is limited to general points about convenience and language learning, while the 'against' side focuses narrowly on dangers from foreigners. The opinion is stated but not fully justified.
Examples
The introduction simply rephrases the question. The 'for' paragraph lists points without explanation. The 'against' paragraph gives one example (scams) and mentions bullying. No real-world evidence or deeper analysis is provided.
How to Improve
Develop each argument with specific examples or evidence. Ensure a balanced discussion with equal depth on both sides. Clearly state your opinion and support it with reasoning that connects back to the arguments presented.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure (introduction, two body paragraphs, conclusion) but lacks effective paragraphing and logical progression. Cohesive devices are limited and sometimes misused, making the flow choppy.
Examples
The second body paragraph starts abruptly with 'However, the drawbacks...' but the first body paragraph lacks a clear topic sentence. Transitions like 'As a result,' 'Consequently,' are used repetitively. The conclusion repeats points without a clear summary.
How to Improve
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph. Improve logical sequencing by linking ideas within and between paragraphs. Vary cohesive devices (e.g., 'On the one hand,' 'In contrast,' 'Furthermore') and avoid overuse of simple connectors.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary range is limited and includes several errors and awkward phrasing. There is some attempt to use topic-related words, but collocations are often incorrect.
Examples
Errors: 'oversea' (should be 'overseas'), 'threataned' (threatened), 'caeful' (careful), 'share about of them' (share about themselves), 'people can chat with various people' (repetitive). Good use of 'convenient' but overall lack of precision.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by learning synonyms and common collocations related to communication and technology. Practice using words like 'facilitate', 'interaction', 'exploit', 'vulnerable', 'misuse'. Proofread to avoid spelling errors.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy4.5
Evaluation
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, particularly in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Sentences are mostly simple or compound with simple clauses, showing limited range.
Examples
Errors: 'the internet joined several people' (should be 'connects'), 'communication is able to use better' (ungrammatical), 'people can chat with various people from different countries' (repetitive), 'foreigner can threataned' (should be 'foreigners can threaten'), 'it can affects' (should be 'affect').
How to Improve
Review basic grammar rules, especially verb tenses (use present simple for general truths), subject-verb agreement, and modal verb usage. Practice writing complex sentences with subordinate clauses. Proofread carefully for common errors.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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