This Band 5 IELTS essay discusses the impact of the internet on communication. While presenting both sides, it faces challenges with language clarity and development of ideas. Understanding these common language issues can help students enhance their writing skills for better results.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Advantages/ Disadvantages Β· Internet Β· 40 min
The internet connects people from different places and makes the world feel smaller. Discuss the arguments for and against the idea that the internet has simplified communication between individuals and provide your own opinion on the matter.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay addresses the task by presenting both for and against arguments on internet simplifying communication, along with a personal opinion. However, the arguments are underdeveloped, relying heavily on personal anecdotes rather than broader analysis. Language errors throughout reduce clarity and impact. The word count is sufficient (approximately 320 words), so no penalty for length.
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In this modern world, internet had played vital role to connect people from various part of the world and it gives sense that the world is tiny. As internet helps to communicate with their loved ones, while it issolate to the teenegers as well. I will discuss in detail about this matter and draw my opinions.
As in today's world, digital platform brings individuals together from different corner of the world. It provides the sense of togetherness. For instance, my brother is currently living in his dream land called Canada. We talk almost everyday through videocal from messenger and share every detail things that happens in everyday life. Additionally, it also helps to get information and education related to academic background. For example, i uses chatgpt frequently to solve my numeriacal problems of finance.
On the other hand, internet is also affecting negatively if it is over-used.
Mainly, teenegerons and young people uses social media quite frequently and they forget their own responsibility. For instance, my bestfriend's brother who was keen interested towards online game involved in scam. He was playing games from his father's andriod phone and unintentionally he was paying for it. He was unaware about it and he spends all the savings of his father. Additionally, he failed his exam and lose all the savings of his father as well.
As far as i'm concerned, digital platform provide access to connect with their loved ones. Additionally, it helps students to get information" title="Correction: get information">get informations and knowledge related to their academic background. So although it affect sometimes, it has played significant role to have good relation to each other.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
8 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| issolate | isolate |
| teenegers | teenagers |
| videocal | video call |
| numeriacal | numerical |
| teenegerons | teenagers |
| bestfriend's | best friend's |
| andriod | Android |
| informations | information |
Grammatical Mistakes
21 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| internet had played | the internet has played | Use present perfect 'has' for action continuing to present, and add article 'the' before 'internet' |
| various part of the world | various parts of the world | 'Part' should be plural to match 'various' |
| it gives sense | it gives a sense | Article 'a' is needed before 'sense' |
| As internet helps to communicate with their loved ones, while it issolate to the teenegers as well. | The internet helps people communicate with their loved ones, but it can also isolate teenagers. | Run-on sentence corrected with proper conjunction and structure; remove redundant words |
| I will discuss in detail about this matter | I will discuss this matter in detail | Preposition 'about' is redundant after 'discuss' |
| draw my opinions | present my opinions | 'Draw' is not idiomatic for expressing opinions; 'present' is more appropriate |
| digital platform brings | digital platforms bring | Subject-verb agreement: 'platforms' is plural, so 'bring' is correct; or add article 'the' for singular |
| different corner of the world | different corners of the world | 'Corner' should be plural to match 'different' |
| every detail things that happens | every detail that happens | Incorrect noun phrase; 'detail things' is redundant; use singular 'detail' with singular verb |
| i uses chatgpt | I use ChatGPT | Subject-verb agreement: 'I' requires 'use'; capitalize proper noun 'ChatGPT' |
| internet is also affecting negatively if it is over-used. | the internet also has negative effects if it is overused. | Word order: 'affecting negatively' is awkward; use 'has negative effects'; 'overused' is one word |
| teenegerons and young people uses social media | teenagers and young people use social media | Subject-verb agreement: plural subject requires 'use' |
| who was keen interested towards online game involved in scam. | who was keenly interested in online games and was involved in a scam. | Adverb 'keenly' modifies 'interested'; preposition 'in' is used with 'interested'; add articles for countable nouns |
| He was unaware about it | He was unaware of it | Preposition 'of' is used with 'unaware' |
| he spends all the savings | he spent all the savings | Tense consistency: use past tense 'spent' to match narrative |
| he failed his exam and lose all the savings | he failed his exam and lost all the savings | Tense consistency: 'lost' should be past tense to match 'failed' |
| As far as i'm concerned | As far as I'm concerned | Capitalize 'I' for first person pronoun |
| digital platform provide access | digital platforms provide access | Subject-verb agreement: plural 'platforms' requires 'provide' |
| get informations | get information | 'Information' is uncountable and does not take a plural form |
| although it affect sometimes | although it affects sometimes | Subject-verb agreement: singular 'it' requires 'affects' |
| to have good relation to each other | to have good relationships with each other | 'Relation' is often formal; 'relationships' is better for interpersonal connections; use preposition 'with' |
Vocabulary Improvements
12 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| gives sense | creates the impression | Vague; 'creates the impression' is more precise and academic |
| tiny | interconnected | Informal; 'interconnected' better conveys the meaning of a closely connected world |
| dream land | dream country | Informal and childish term; 'dream country' is more appropriate |
| get information | access information | 'Get' is informal; 'access' is more formal and precise |
| numeriacal problems of finance | numerical problems in finance | Incorrect preposition; 'in' is more appropriate for fields of study |
| affecting negatively | having negative effects | Better collocation; 'affecting negatively' is awkward |
| over-used | overused | Standard spelling as one word |
| keen interested | keenly interested | Incorrect adverb use; 'keenly' is the correct adverb to modify 'interested' |
| involved in scam | involved in a scam | Article missing for countable noun 'scam' |
| paying for it | making payments | Vague; 'making payments' is more specific in context |
| draw my opinions | present my opinions | Incorrect verb for expressing opinions; 'present' is more suitable |
| good relation | good relationships | 'Relation' is often formal; 'relationships' is better for interpersonal connections in this context |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The response partially fulfills the task by discussing both sides and giving an opinion, but the arguments are not fully extended. Examples are personal and lack general relevance, limiting the depth of discussion.
Examples
For arguments: connecting with family via video call and using ChatGPT for education. Against arguments: overuse leading to scams and neglect of responsibilities. The opinion is stated but not elaborated.
How to Improve
Develop each argument with more general examples or evidence, such as societal impacts or statistical data. Ensure the opinion is clearly supported and integrated throughout the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for each side, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is weakened by awkward transitions and grammatical errors, making the flow less smooth.
Examples
Linking phrases like 'On the other hand' and 'Additionally' are used, but paragraphs lack clear topic sentences. The conclusion abruptly restates points without synthesizing arguments.
How to Improve
Use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph and more varied cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In contrast'). Ensure logical progression between ideas and a stronger concluding paragraph that summarizes both sides and reinforces the opinion.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate, with frequent spelling errors and inappropriate word choices. There is an attempt to use less common terms, but errors hinder communication.
Examples
Misspellings: 'issolate' (isolate), 'teenegers' (teenagers), 'videocal' (video call), 'numeriacal' (numerical), 'teenegerons' (teenagers), 'andriod' (Android), 'informations' (information). Inaccurate phrases: 'gives sense' (gives a sense), 'detail things' (detailed things).
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by reading academic texts and practicing correct spelling. Use a dictionary or thesaurus to verify word choices. Avoid repetitive phrases and aim for more precise terminology related to technology and communication.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy4.5
Evaluation
Grammatical errors are frequent and affect meaning, with issues in tense, subject-verb agreement, articles, and sentence structure. Sentence variety is limited.
Examples
Tense error: 'internet had played' (has played). Subject-verb agreement: 'i uses' (I use), 'people uses' (people use). Article omission: 'from various part' (from various parts). Incorrect word form: 'keen interested' (keenly interested). Run-on sentences: 'He was playing games... and he spends all the savings...'
How to Improve
Focus on basic grammar rules, especially verb tenses and agreement. Practice constructing complex sentences with clauses. Proofread essays to identify and correct errors. Consider using grammar check tools for feedback.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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