This band 5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay addresses the topic of internet communication but falls short in task response and structural clarity. The essay, under 250 words, only partially develops points for and against the simplicity of online communication, leading to a need for deeper exploration and a stronger conclusion.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Advantages/ Disadvantages · Internet · 40 min
The internet connects people from different places and makes the world feel smaller. Discuss the arguments for and against the idea that the internet has simplified communication between individuals and provide your own opinion on the matter.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay is under the required 250 words (approximately 159 words), which significantly impacts the Task Response score. It partially addresses the prompt by discussing arguments for the internet simplifying communication but only briefly mentions an against point without development. The opinion is stated but not fully supported. Improvements are needed in all areas.
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The internet has profoundly changed our communication. Now we feel that the world is like a small village due to the connection of every corner of the world. There is no doubt that it has brought us all together as one, and I too stand to the above mention point . This essay would further discuss on its merits.
First and foremost, the internet enables instant communication regardless of distance. Even two or three decades ago, people had rely on letters or expensive phone calls to stay in touch. However, with the blessing of the internet, there is now a development of social media platforms such as Facebook, Messenger, and WhatsApp. Individuals can now send messages, make video calls, and share updates within a second.
Secondly, the internet has facilitated global collaboration and cultural exchange. In addition, people can now work in organizations in different countries, even from their homes.
However, it is important to acknowledge that online communication may sometimes lack the depth of physical communication.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Grammatical Mistakes
4 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| stand to the above mention point | stand by the above-mentioned point | Incorrect preposition and article usage; 'stand by' means to support, and 'above-mentioned' is the correct adjective form. |
| discuss on its merits | discuss its merits | 'Discuss' is a transitive verb and should be followed directly by the object without 'on'. |
| had rely | had to rely | Modal verb error; 'had' requires 'to' followed by the base verb to form the past obligation. |
| point . | point. | Punctuation error; period should be placed immediately after the last word. |
Vocabulary Improvements
4 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| blessing | advantage | Informal term; 'advantage' is more neutral and academic. |
| development | rise | Vague term; 'rise' more appropriately describes the growth and prevalence of social media platforms. |
| within a second | instantly | Informal phrasing; 'instantly' is more concise and academic. |
| above mention | above-mentioned | Incorrect collocation; 'above-mentioned' is the standard adjective for referring to something mentioned earlier. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response4.5
Evaluation
The essay only partially fulfills the task. It presents some arguments for the internet simplifying communication but neglects to develop arguments against it as required. The opinion is given but not elaborated. The under-length response limits the development of ideas.
Examples
The essay discusses instant communication and global collaboration as merits, but the against point is only briefly stated: 'online communication may sometimes lack the depth of physical communication' without expansion.
How to Improve
Ensure the essay meets the word count (at least 250 words). Address both sides of the argument equally. Develop each point with explanations and examples. Clearly state and justify your own opinion in a balanced way.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction and body paragraphs, but no conclusion. Cohesive devices are used but are repetitive. The flow is somewhat logical but could be improved with better paragraphing and linking ideas.
Examples
Use of 'First and foremost,' 'Secondly,' and 'However.' However, the transition between ideas is abrupt, and the essay ends without a concluding paragraph.
How to Improve
Include a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each side of the argument, and a conclusion. Use a variety of cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, on the other hand, in contrast) to link ideas smoothly. Ensure each paragraph has a central topic and progresses logically.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks range and precision. There are some errors in word choice and expression.
Examples
'stand to the above mention point' should be 'support the above-mentioned point' or 'agree with this point'. 'Had rely' should be 'had to rely'. Use of 'blessing' is appropriate but informal for academic writing.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary related to communication and technology. Use more precise and academic language. Avoid repetition by using synonyms. Proofread for word form errors and collocations.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
There are several grammatical errors, and sentence structures are mostly simple. Accuracy issues affect clarity.
Examples
'people had rely' (missing 'to'), 'stand to the above mention point' (incorrect preposition and word form), 'discuss on its merits' (unnecessary preposition). Sentences are straightforward but lack complexity.
How to Improve
Practice using a variety of sentence structures (complex and compound sentences). Focus on grammatical accuracy, especially verb tenses, prepositions, and article usage. Proofread to correct errors and enhance sentence variety.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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