This Band 6 IELTS essay discusses the advantages and disadvantages of internet communication. While it touches on important points, clarity and cohesion are areas needing significant improvement to enhance readability.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Advantages/ Disadvantages · Internet · 40 min
The internet connects people from different places and makes the world feel smaller. Discuss the arguments for and against the idea that the internet has simplified communication between individuals and provide your own opinion on the matter.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay addresses the task by discussing both views and giving an opinion, but arguments are sometimes underdeveloped or slightly off-topic. Cohesion is adequate but with some lapses. Vocabulary is sufficient but with spelling and word choice errors. Grammar contains several mistakes that affect clarity. Word count is met (333 words).
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The internet has aided the connection of people from various regions. However, there is an on-going debate on whether or not it has made communication easier and more efficient; this essay will examine both perspectives and highlight on my opinion.
Firstly, the use of the web has made talking to one another easier and faster, with the use of the net an increasing amount of people have being able to perform tasks in the comfort of their own home. For instance, an increasing number of coorperate organizations have meetings online, this has allowed them to reside in their own home and make decisions quicker with the aid of artificial intelligence. Additionally, the internet has supported online classes and research in the academic world, it has enhance the mode of remote understanding with the transfer of files like slides and notes.
However, others argue that communication has not being improved by AI, this is as a result of its complete reliance of internet and network. In many countries, the precarious state of the cyberspace is a major issues affecting communication, making it extremely unreliable. For example, Nigeria is one of the states that suffer from poor conversions online, as a result its citizens are unable to make calls and send or recieve important files. In additon, the WWW can be interfered with, causing almost all global networks to crash, or be permanently damaged; in severe situations, personal information can be stolen or forged, hence, encouraging fraud, bribery and corrupt.
In my opinion, although the net has significantly bettered dialogue and transfer of information, it is highly dependent on other factors, and is not always availiable and stable in all countries. I believe that a country should have other means of contact in case of online disruptions so it does not affect their jobs or educations.
In conclusion, the internet has bettered correspondence between both people and nations, although it can be unstable at times; the web can be refined through advanced study and technology.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
6 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| coorperate | corporate |
| recieve | receive |
| additon | addition |
| availiable | available |
| conversions | connections |
| corrupt | corruption |
Grammatical Mistakes
8 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| highlight on my opinion | present my opinion | Incorrect preposition use; 'highlight' should not be followed by 'on' in this context. |
| have being able | have been able | Verb form error; present perfect requires 'been' as past participle of 'be'. |
| it has enhance | it has enhanced | Present perfect tense requires past participle; 'enhance' should be 'enhanced'. |
| has not being improved | has not been improved | Passive voice error; 'being' should be 'been' for present perfect passive. |
| reliance of internet | reliance on the internet | Preposition error; 'reliance' is followed by 'on'. |
| is a major issues | is a major issue | Subject-verb agreement; 'state' is singular, so 'issue' should be singular. |
| encouraging fraud, bribery and corrupt | encouraging fraud, bribery, and corruption | 'Corrupt' is an adjective; should be noun 'corruption' to parallel other nouns. |
| educations | education | 'Education' is uncountable and should not be pluralized. |
Vocabulary Improvements
8 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| the web | the internet | Informal term; use 'the internet' for academic writing. |
| the net | the internet | Informal term; use 'the internet' for academic writing. |
| talking to one another | communicating | Informal phrase; use more formal synonym like 'communicating'. |
| bettered | improved | 'Better' as a verb is less common in academic writing; 'improve' is preferred. |
| conversions | connections | Incorrect word choice; 'conversions' means changes, while 'connections' is appropriate for communication context. |
| states | countries | 'States' can be ambiguous; 'countries' is clearer and more accurate when referring to nations like Nigeria. |
| dialogue | communication | 'Dialogue' implies two-way conversation; 'communication' is broader and more suitable in this context. |
| refined | improved | 'Refined' means made more pure or precise; 'improved' is better for enhancing functionality or performance. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The response covers all parts of the task, but some ideas are not fully extended, and there is some irrelevance (e.g., focusing on AI instead of internet).
Examples
In the for paragraph, the mention of artificial intelligence aiding decisions detracts from the core discussion about the internet. The against paragraph starts with AI reliance, which is not directly about internet communication.
How to Improve
Focus strictly on arguments for and against the internet simplifying communication. Develop each point with clear, relevant examples and ensure that all examples directly support the main argument.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay has a clear structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, within paragraphs, ideas are not always logically connected, and some transitions are awkward.
Examples
The first body paragraph jumps from online meetings to online classes without a smooth transition. The use of 'however' to start the against paragraph is good, but the connection between sentences within paragraphs could be improved.
How to Improve
Use a variety of cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, moreover, on the other hand) to link ideas. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to that topic.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
There is an attempt to use a range of vocabulary, but errors in spelling, word formation, and collocation reduce the effectiveness.
Examples
Misspellings: 'coorperate' for 'corporate', 'recieve' for 'receive', 'availiable' for 'available'. Incorrect word choice: 'betted' for 'improved', 'corrupt' for 'corruption'.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by reading model essays and noting correct word usage. Practice spelling and use tools like spell check. Pay attention to word forms and collocations.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5.5
Evaluation
The essay demonstrates an attempt at complex grammar, but frequent errors in verb tenses, passive voice, and sentence structure hinder communication.
Examples
Grammatical errors: 'have being able' (should be 'have been able'), 'it has enhance' (should be 'it has enhanced'), 'has not being improved' (should be 'has not been improved'). Run-on sentence: 'For instance, ... online, this has allowed...' should be two sentences or joined with a conjunction.
How to Improve
Review basic grammar rules, especially verb tenses and passive voice. Practice writing complex sentences correctly. Proofread essays to identify and correct errors.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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