This Band 6 IELTS writing task discusses the advantages and disadvantages of internet communication, highlighting key cohesion and grammar issues. While the essay touches upon relevant arguments, the connection between ideas could be improved for better clarity.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Advantages/ Disadvantages · Internet · 40 min
The internet connects people from different places and makes the world feel smaller. Discuss the arguments for and against the idea that the internet has simplified communication between individuals and provide your own opinion on the matter.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (366 words) and addresses the topic by discussing arguments for and against the internet simplifying communication, with a personal opinion. However, the against arguments are somewhat tangential, focusing on cultural loss and isolation rather than directly countering the simplification aspect. The structure is clear, but cohesion and grammatical accuracy need improvement.
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The internet offers an easy and accessible global communication allowing individuals to communicate more easily from all areas of the world often making it seem a lot smaller. I do believe there is some truth to this statement but in all things there are advantages and less disadvantages.
On the one hand I do strongly believe that the internet offers a more seamless and easy way to communicate with individuals from all around the world. Not only does the internet offer a medium for communication but with the advancements in artificial intelligence and real time translations. This allows individuals not only from different countries but also different languages can communicate effectively sharing a world of knowledge, information and even innovative methods in problem solving. The internet can also be used to connect friends, relatives or even new individuals across great distances fostering new relationships or even strengthening old ones. For these reasons I am of the opinion thst the internet can offer a positive outcome.
On the other hand I believe the over usage of the internet as a mode of communication can also negatively affect individuals and make them feel isolated. This can be seen as several cultural practices such as traditional dressing style a folk music being lost by all countries, as the internet has made the world feel like more of a hybridized society often leaving individuals in limbo trying to find where exactly they fit. I will use social media as an example, these platforms offer teens a space to express themselves often times joining together by doing challenges or dances as a mean of entertainment. Imagine a teen who is not allowed as much freedom with social media, often times these individuals are left on the outside as they are not able to participate or even understand the linguistics of their peers.
In conclusion the internet can be seen as a positive medium for communication as it allows seamless real time communication across a great distance. This can be great for students who live abroad or individuals who live far from family and friends. It can also have a negative impact as cultural loss is seen to be the greatest drawback.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
1 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| thst | that |
Grammatical Mistakes
6 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| less disadvantages | fewer disadvantages | 'Less' is for uncountable nouns; 'fewer' for countable nouns like 'disadvantages' |
| as a mean of entertainment | as a means of entertainment | 'Means' is the correct singular noun for method or way |
| This allows individuals not only from different countries but also different languages can communicate effectively | This allows individuals from different countries and speaking different languages to communicate effectively | Incorrect structure; 'allows' should be followed by an infinitive 'to communicate', not a clause |
| often times | often | 'Often times' is redundant; 'often' is sufficient |
| real time communication | real-time communication | Hyphen needed for compound adjective modifying 'communication' |
| On the one hand I do strongly believe | On the one hand, I do strongly believe | Missing comma after introductory phrase 'On the one hand' |
Vocabulary Improvements
5 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| easy | effortless | Overused; 'effortless' is more precise and formal |
| great | beneficial | Informal and vague; 'beneficial' is more academic |
| linguistics | language | 'Linguistics' refers to the study of language; in context, 'language' is appropriate |
| over usage | excessive use | 'Over usage' is not standard; 'excessive use' or 'overuse' is correct |
| positive outcome | positive effect | 'Outcome' might be less specific; 'effect' is commonly used in such contexts |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response
6.5
Evaluation
The essay responds to the task by presenting both sides and an opinion, but the against arguments could be more focused on how the internet might not simplify communication. The opinion is implied but not strongly stated.
Examples
For arguments: seamless communication, AI translations, connecting people globally. Against arguments: overuse leads to isolation, cultural loss, social media exclusion. The against points, while relevant, do not explicitly argue against simplification; instead, they address broader societal impacts.
How to Improve
Ensure all points directly relate to the prompt. For against arguments, consider aspects like misinformation, communication overload, or loss of depth in interactions. Clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
6
Evaluation
The essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, with some cohesive devices. However, ideas within paragraphs are not always smoothly linked, and the flow could be improved.
Examples
Use of 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' helps structure, but the shift from AI translations to connecting friends in paragraph 2 is abrupt. The social media example in paragraph 3 feels disconnected from the main argument about communication simplification.
How to Improve
Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas within sentences and paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and that examples are integrated logically. Consider revising transitions for better flow.
Lexical Resource
6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is generally appropriate with a fair range, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasing that affect clarity.
Examples
Incorrect: 'less disadvantages' (should be 'fewer disadvantages' or 'disadvantages'), 'thst' (typo for 'that'), 'a mean of entertainment' (should be 'a means of entertainment'). Good use: 'seamless', 'hybridized society', 'linguistics'.
How to Improve
Proofread for spelling and word choice errors. Expand vocabulary by learning collocations and using words precisely. Avoid repetition by using synonyms (e.g., instead of 'easy', use 'effortless', 'straightforward').
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
5.5
Evaluation
There is an attempt to use complex sentences, but grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes hinder understanding. Issues include run-on sentences, incorrect verb forms, and article misuse.
Examples
Run-on: 'allowing individuals to communicate more easily from all areas of the world often making it seem a lot smaller.' Incorrect structure: 'This allows individuals not only from different countries but also different languages can communicate effectively...' (should be 'This allows individuals from different countries and speaking different languages to communicate effectively').
How to Improve
Practice constructing grammatically correct complex sentences. Use punctuation correctly to separate clauses. Review article usage (a, an, the) and verb patterns (e.g., allow + object + to + verb). Consider grammar exercises focused on sentence structure.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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