This band 6 IELTS essay addresses the communication simplification by the internet through both advantages and disadvantages. However, it suffers from underdeveloped arguments and clarity issues. Improving these areas can enhance your performance in the writing section.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Advantages/ Disadvantages Β· Internet Β· 40 min
The internet connects people from different places and makes the world feel smaller. Discuss the arguments for and against the idea that the internet has simplified communication between individuals and provide your own opinion on the matter.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay addresses all parts of the task by discussing both sides and giving an opinion, and it meets the word count (260 words). However, arguments are underdeveloped, with basic ideas and limited support. Coherence is adequate but could be improved with better linking and paragraph structure. Vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and contains errors, while grammar has several mistakes that affect clarity.
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Many individuals thinks that internet connects people from different places and makes the world feel smaller, because it helps people to connect with others around the world and with new technologies like translation tools,it is much easier and faster. Whereas, some people thinks that there are certain disadvantages to this, such as, lack of face-to-face interactions and real-life social skills.
On the one hand, internet helps peopel to communicate and connect with others easily. In the past, people relied on letters to stay in touch with others. However, today, instant messaging platform's like whatsapp and email makes it a lot easier and faster. People are now able to see and communicate at the same time, through video calls. For instance, platforms such as whatsapp, zoom, google meet and so on, allows people to connect with family and friends instantly. Moreover, internet provides translation tools, which help with language barriers and make the communication easier .
On the other hand, there are certain drawbacks, such as lack of face-to-face interactions. This leads to misunderstandings, because human rely more on tone and expression, while text would not be able to deliver it. Additionally, excess use of internet reduce real-life social skills and weaken personal relationships. For example, people nowadays, spend more time on social media or internet which affects their real-life.
In conclusion, although internet has some drawbacks, like lack of face-to-face interaction and lack of real-life social skills. I believe its advantages far outweigh the disadvantages, make it easier to connect with others and also with the help of translation tools.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
4 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| peopel | people |
| zoom | Zoom |
| google meet | Google Meet |
Grammatical Mistakes
12 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| thinks | think | Subject-verb agreement: after plural subjects like 'individuals' or 'people', use 'think' |
| platform's | platforms | Apostrophe misuse: 'platform's' is possessive, but plural 'platforms' is needed here |
| makes | make | Subject-verb agreement: with plural subject 'platforms and email', use 'make' |
| allows | allow | Subject-verb agreement: with plural subject 'platforms', use 'allow' |
| human rely | humans rely | Noun form error: 'human' is singular; use plural 'humans' for general reference |
| reduce | reduces | Subject-verb agreement: with singular subject 'excess use', use 'reduces' |
| weaken | weakens | Subject-verb agreement: with singular subject 'excess use', use 'weakens' |
| nowadays, spend | nowadays spend | Unnecessary comma: no comma is needed after 'nowadays' in this context |
| real-life | real life | Part-of-speech error: 'real-life' is an adjective, but a noun phrase 'real life' is needed here |
| the communication | communication | Article misuse: 'communication' is uncountable and does not require 'the' in this context |
| skills. I | skills, I | Sentence fragment: 'although' clause should be connected to the main clause with a comma, not a period |
| disadvantages, make | disadvantages, making | Comma splice: use gerund 'making' to connect ideas instead of a separate verb |
Vocabulary Improvements
3 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| a lot easier | much easier | Informal phrase: 'a lot' is too casual for academic writing; use 'much' or 'considerably' |
| and so on | among others | Vague and informal: 'and so on' is imprecise; use 'among others' for better clarity |
| excess use | excessive use | Wrong collocation: 'excess' is a noun; 'excessive' is the adjective form needed here |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The response covers the task by presenting arguments for and against the internet simplifying communication, and includes a clear opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial, with points not fully elaborated or supported with detailed examples.
Examples
For example, when discussing advantages, it mentions instant messaging and translation tools but does not explore how these specifically simplify communication in depth. For drawbacks, it states that lack of face-to-face interaction leads to misunderstandings but does not provide a concrete scenario or evidence.
How to Improve
To improve, expand on each argument with specific examples and explanations. For instance, explain how translation tools break down language barriers in business or education, or discuss studies showing the impact of internet use on social skills. Ensure the opinion is reinforced with stronger reasoning.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for each side, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is occasionally disrupted by awkward transitions and repetitive phrasing. Paragraphing is present but could be more effectively managed to enhance flow.
Examples
The introduction restates the question without adding much original phrasing. Linking words like 'Whereas' and 'Additionally' are used, but sentences sometimes run on (e.g., '...because it helps people to connect...'). The conclusion abruptly repeats points without synthesizing them smoothly.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'In contrast,' 'Consequently') to connect ideas. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Avoid copying the question verbatim; paraphrase to show lexical range.
Lexical Resource5.5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is adequate for the task but limited in range and precision. There are spelling errors and informal terms, and some words are repeated frequently. The lexical choices are basic and do not demonstrate a sophisticated command of language.
Examples
Misspellings: 'peopel' for 'people', 'platform's' for 'platforms'. Informal terms: 'whatsapp' should be capitalized as 'WhatsApp'. Repetition: 'internet' used multiple times; 'connect' and 'easier' are overused. Phrases like 'real-life social skills' are clear but not advanced.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by using synonyms (e.g., 'digital communication' instead of 'internet', 'facilitates' instead of 'helps'). Practice spelling and use correct capitalization for proper nouns. Incorporate more topic-specific terms, such as 'virtual interaction', 'cultural exchange', or 'digital divide'.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5.5
Evaluation
Grammar shows a mix of simple and complex structures, but errors are frequent and sometimes impede meaning. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, plural forms, and sentence construction. Punctuation is inconsistently applied.
Examples
Subject-verb agreement: 'Many individuals thinks' should be 'think'. Plural error: 'platform's like whatsapp' should be 'platforms like WhatsApp'. Verb form: 'excess use of internet reduce' should be 'reduces'. Fragment in conclusion: 'make it easier' should be 'making it easier' or rephrased.
How to Improve
Review basic grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement and pluralization. Practice using complex sentences with correct punctuation (e.g., commas before coordinating conjunctions). Proofread essays to catch errors like 'leads to misunderstandings, because human rely' which should be 'humans rely'.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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