This Band 6 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses internet communication. While it covers both pros and cons, the argument development lacks depth and detailed examples. Improving the elaboration of each point could enhance the overall quality of the response.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Advantages/ Disadvantages · Internet · 40 min
The internet connects people from different places and makes the world feel smaller. Discuss the arguments for and against the idea that the internet has simplified communication between individuals and provide your own opinion on the matter.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (287 words) and addresses the task by discussing both arguments for and against the idea that the internet has simplified communication, and it provides a personal opinion. However, the development of the arguments is somewhat superficial, with the 'against' side being brief and generic. The examples are basic and not fully elaborated. Overall, the response is adequate but lacks depth and sophistication to achieve a higher band.
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The internet has been a transformative invention, which has had the biggest impact across the globe. With the growth of the internet, most of the tasks done by humans have been made easier, and it has connected people across borders, countries, and continents.
The internet has simplified communication between individuals. With the growth of social media platforms, emailing, and video calling features, the distance between individuals has reduced emotionally, even if they are far away physically. People are able to express their views and opinions freely and learn whether their views are right or wrong. This initiates an interactive and improving teaching-learning process. The internet, with its distinctive features, has made the biggest change in the lives of individuals. For example, in the older days, relatives and friends who were far away could only communicate through letters, which was a long and time-consuming process. However, with the current technologies, they could communicate with each other and share their feelings, avoiding the feeling of missing them. Similarly, considering the growth of social networks, we are able to know the things happening around us and act accordingly.
Along with these positives, the internet also has its own limitations. The usage of these advancing technologies has reduced the physical interactions between people. The internet can be easily misused, and could result in a negative scenario. This also brings a major question about privacy, where the increased usage of this tech has reduced the individual's well-being. This has also resulted in medical complications and increased stress among people.
In conclusion, I believe that with the right amount of usage of the internet, it could be a very helpful tool that connects people around the community and us into a positive environment.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Grammatical Mistakes
2 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| in the older days | in the olden days | Idiomatic expression; 'older days' is non-standard. |
| connects people around the community and us into | connects people around the community and brings us into | Missing verb 'brings' before 'us' for parallel structure. |
Vocabulary Improvements
3 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| tech | technology | Informal abbreviation; use full term in academic writing. |
| things happening | events occurring | 'Things' is vague; 'events' is more precise. |
| biggest change | most significant change | 'Biggest' is informal; 'most significant' is more academic. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The essay covers the main requirements of the task: it presents arguments for (e.g., social media, video calls, reduced distance) and against (e.g., reduced physical interaction, privacy concerns, stress), and ends with a clear opinion. However, the arguments are not fully developed or supported with detailed examples. The 'against' paragraph is particularly short and lacks concrete evidence or nuanced discussion.
Examples
For the positive side, the writer mentions 'video calling features' and compares to old-fashioned letters. For the negative side, general statements about 'misuse', 'privacy', and 'medical complications' are given without specific instances or explanation.
How to Improve
To improve, expand each argument with specific, real-world examples (e.g., how social media can create echo chambers or how excessive screen time affects relationships). Ensure both sides are equally developed. The opinion should be more clearly justified in the conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay has a clear overall structure: introduction, two body paragraphs (one for 'for', one for 'against'), and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is limited. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are basic (e.g., 'Along with these positives', 'In conclusion'), and some ideas jump without smooth linking.
Examples
The second body paragraph starts with 'Along with these positives, the internet also has its own limitations', which is a clear transition, but within paragraphs, ideas like 'the distance between individuals has reduced emotionally... This initiates an interactive...' could be better connected. The final sentence of the conclusion is awkwardly phrased ('connects people around the community and us into a positive environment').
How to Improve
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'On the other hand', 'Consequently'). Ensure each paragraph flows logically from one point to the next. Use referencing (e.g., 'this', 'such') and topic sentences to guide the reader.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but limited in range and precision. There is some repetition of words like 'growth', 'individuals', 'communication'. Some collocations are awkward (e.g., 'a bigger impact across the globe', 'reduced emotionally', 'teaching-learning process'). The essay does not demonstrate a wide or sophisticated lexical choice.
Examples
Phrases such as 'the biggest impact' are overused and lack variety. 'The distance between individuals has reduced emotionally' is not idiomatic; 'emotional distance' would be clearer. 'Initiates an interactive and improving teaching-learning process' is vague and unnatural.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by learning synonyms and topic-specific terms (e.g., 'bridged geographical gaps', 'fosters connections', 'cyberbullying', 'digital footprint'). Practice using collocations naturally (e.g., 'simplify communication', 'raise privacy concerns'). Avoid repeating the same words; use paraphrasing.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6
Evaluation
The essay uses mostly simple and compound sentences with some complex structures. There are several grammatical errors and awkward constructions that affect clarity. Punctuation is generally correct, but sentence boundaries are sometimes unclear.
Examples
Examples of errors: 'people could communicate... avoiding the feeling of missing them' (illogical structure); 'the increased usage of this tech has reduced the individual's well-being' (unclear reference); 'a very helpful tool that connects people around the community and us into a positive environment' (confusing). The tense usage is mostly consistent but lacks variety.
How to Improve
Work on forming complex sentences with correct subordination (e.g., 'Although the internet facilitates instant contact, it can also diminish face-to-face interaction'). Review subject-verb agreement, article usage, and prepositions. Proofread to eliminate awkward phrasing. Practice using a mix of sentence types (simple, compound, complex) accurately.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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