This Band 6 IELTS essay discusses the advantages and disadvantages of internet communication. While it presents both sides, the arguments lack depth and complexity. Vocabulary usage is also limited, impacting the overall quality of the writing.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Advantages/ Disadvantages · Internet · 40 min
The internet connects people from different places and makes the world feel smaller. Discuss the arguments for and against the idea that the internet has simplified communication between individuals and provide your own opinion on the matter.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (322 words) and addresses the topic by presenting arguments for and against the internet simplifying communication, along with a clear opinion. However, the arguments are somewhat underdeveloped, particularly the against side, and the lexical resource and grammatical range are limited. Overall, it demonstrates competent writing but lacks sophistication and depth.
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There is a phrase commonly used that the world has become a small village. This has been attributed to the connection brought by the internet. Communication has been simplified between people across the world. While this may be true to a certain extent, there are opposing views. Some people believe that simplicity in communication is yet to be achieved despite improved internet connections.
First, the internet has managed to unite people across the globe. Individuals living in different places across the world can now communicate effectively through different social media platforms. Without the need to travel back to their countries, people can now meet virtually with their loved ones online. This has been made possible with the presence of video calls and Google Meet.
The internet has also managed to connect people across diverse cultures in the world. With the presence of language translation apps like Duolingo, the language barrier is now a thing of the past. A person can easily use the internet to translate and understand what the other person is communicating.
However, despite these advantages brought by the internet, some people believe that the internet has not simplified communication between individuals. One major reason they are against this idea is the fact that the internet has now been divided. Individuals speaking the same language are on one side of the internet, while those speaking differently are in another.
Instead of bringing unity across the world, the internet has divided the population according to languages. This has also been linked to the rising cases of racism. Individuals online tend to embrace people of their own culture while frowning on those of others.
In my opinion, I am of the idea that the internet has simplified communication between individuals. Although there exists the downside of the internet, I think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The world could work on mitigating the challenges brought by the internet without fully being against it.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Vocabulary Improvements
6 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| language translation apps like Duolingo | language translation tools like Google Translate | Inaccurate example; Duolingo is primarily for language learning, not real-time translation |
| a thing of the past | significantly reduced | Informal idiom; 'significantly reduced' is more precise and academic |
| frowning on | disapproving of | Informal expression; 'disapproving of' is more appropriate for formal writing |
| I am of the idea | I believe | Verbose and uncommon phrasing; 'I believe' is concise and standard |
| the downside | the disadvantages | Informal word; 'disadvantages' is more formal and academic |
| speaking differently | speaking other languages | Vague; 'speaking other languages' is clearer and more precise |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6.5
Evaluation
The essay responds to the prompt by discussing both sides and giving an opinion. However, the arguments are not fully elaborated, and the against points are brief and lack specific examples. The opinion is stated but could be more nuanced.
Examples
For arguments: mentions social media platforms and video calls for connecting people, and translation apps like Duolingo (though inaccurately described) for breaking language barriers. Against arguments: states that the internet is divided by language and links this to racism without explanation. Opinion: advantages outweigh disadvantages.
How to Improve
Develop each argument with more detail and evidence. For example, explain how internet division occurs (e.g., algorithmic filtering, cultural bubbles) and provide concrete examples of racism or polarization online. Strengthen the opinion by discussing why advantages outweigh disadvantages, perhaps with counterarguments.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for for/against arguments, and a conclusion. However, cohesion between paragraphs is basic, and transitions could be smoother. Paragraphing is logical but lacks sophisticated linking.
Examples
The use of 'First' and 'However' provides some structure, but the shift from for to against arguments is abrupt. The conclusion reiterates the opinion but does not effectively summarize the discussion.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'On the one hand,' 'Conversely,' 'In addition') to connect ideas. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically to the next. Consider a more integrated approach where for and against arguments are compared within paragraphs.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is adequate for the task but repetitive and sometimes inaccurate. The range is limited, with few synonyms or topic-specific terms. There is a minor error in terminology.
Examples
Repetition of 'simplified communication' and 'the internet has managed to.' Inaccuracy: 'Duolingo' is a language learning app, not a translation app (better examples: Google Translate, DeepL). Some appropriate words like 'mitigating' are used.
How to Improve
Expand lexical range by using synonyms (e.g., 'facilitated,' 'revolutionized,' 'bridged' for 'simplified'). Incorporate more precise terms related to internet communication (e.g., 'digital divide,' 'echo chambers,' 'cross-cultural interaction'). Avoid repetition and ensure accurate word choice.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6
Evaluation
Grammar is generally accurate with no major errors, but sentence structures are predominantly simple. There is limited use of complex sentences, reducing the range and sophistication.
Examples
Simple sentences: 'Individuals living in different places across the world can now communicate effectively...' Few complex structures: 'While this may be true to a certain extent...' is one example, but most sentences are straightforward.
How to Improve
Incorporate a variety of sentence structures, such as compound-complex sentences, relative clauses, and conditional forms. For instance, combine ideas using subordinating conjunctions (e.g., 'although,' 'despite') to show relationships between clauses. Practice using passive voice or inverted structures for diversity.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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