This Band 6 IELTS essay discusses the advantages and disadvantages of owning versus renting a home. While it addresses key points, the clarity of ideas and cohesion within paragraphs could be improved to enhance overall readability. Understanding these areas will help you create a more structured and persuasive essay.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Advantages/ Disadvantages Β· House Ownership Β· 40 min
The choice between owning and renting a home involves a careful consideration of various factors that can positively and negatively affect one's life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of owning a house compared to renting one?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (271 words) and addresses the topic by discussing advantages and disadvantages of owning versus renting a home. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial, with limited elaboration on points. Vocabulary and grammatical errors reduce clarity, and cohesion within paragraphs could be improved.
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Various factors need to be accounted for before making a decision to live in owned house or rented accomodation because both choices have their pros and cos that can have far reaching effects on the individual.
Owning a house dreamth by many individuals around the world because it is considered to be a symbol of pride. But, due to high prices and elevated morgadge rates buying a house is beyond the reach of most people. To have a personal house develop a confidence and sense of security among the owners. Owner do not have to seek permission from the landlord for minor structural or cosmetic changes that he desire to make. Moreover, buying a house is a good investment for future as the prices of property boost, whilehatever amount he uses on maintance adds to his investment.
On the other hand, rented living gives a sense if in security. The land lord may need his house at any time despite an agreement with a months notice. In addition, tennent is answerable to the owner for any damage. Furthermore, for fixing any painting or family pictures he need to ask for permission and Landlord has the right to visit his property at any time without permission which may not be suitable for the tennent to be ready for and can result in awkward situation.
In conclusion, rented accomodation provide temporary shelter that can be vacated any time on demand. I believe, residing in personal house is a blessing in term of carefree living and engaging finances" title="Correction: and at the same time, engaging finances">at the same engaging finances in a productive project that will yield better return at time when required.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
9 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| accomodation | accommodation |
| cos | cons |
| dreamth | dreamt |
| morgadge | mortgage |
| whilehatever | while whatever |
| maintance | maintenance |
| land lord | landlord |
| tennent | tenant |
| term | terms |
Grammatical Mistakes
15 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| in owned house | in an owned house | missing article |
| Owning a house dreamth by many | Owning a house is dreamt of by many | sentence fragment; missing verb and preposition |
| To have a personal house develop | Having a personal house develops | awkward infinitive; gerund preferred for subject |
| Owner do not have | Owners do not have | subject-verb agreement; 'Owner' should be plural |
| that he desire to make | that they desire to make | pronoun agreement; 'he' should be 'they' for plural owners |
| he uses on maintance adds to his investment | they use on maintenance adds to their investment | pronoun agreement; change to plural for consistency |
| gives a sense if in security | gives a sense of insecurity | incorrect preposition and word order |
| a months notice | a month's notice | possessive form required for 'month' |
| tennent is answerable | the tenant is answerable | article missing; spelling corrected separately |
| he need to ask for permission | he needs to ask for permission | subject-verb agreement; 'he' requires 'needs' |
| Landlord has the right | The landlord has the right | missing article |
| awkward situation | an awkward situation | missing article |
| rented accomodation provide | rented accommodation provides | subject-verb agreement; 'accommodation' is singular |
| at the same engaging finances | and at the same time, engaging finances | incomplete phrase; needs conjunction and clarification |
| yield better return at time when required | yield a better return at a time when required | missing articles |
Vocabulary Improvements
9 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| cos | disadvantages | informal abbreviation; use full word for academic writing |
| dreamth | desired | non-standard word; use standard verb |
| boost | appreciate | informal for property prices; 'appreciate' is more precise |
| whilehatever amount he uses | and the amount they use | awkward phrasing; use 'and the amount' for clarity |
| gives a sense if in security | creates a feeling of insecurity | incorrect phrase; 'sense of insecurity' is standard |
| awkward situation | uncomfortable situation | vague; more specific based on context |
| carefree living | stress-free living | slightly informal; 'stress-free' is more academic |
| engaging finances | investing financial resources | awkward collocation; 'investing' is more appropriate |
| yield better return | provide a higher return on investment | vague; specify 'return on investment' |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
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Task Response6
Evaluation
The essay responds to the prompt by presenting advantages and disadvantages of both owning and renting. However, the analysis is not fully developed, and some points are not clearly explained. For example, it mentions high prices as a barrier to owning but does not explore this as a disadvantage of owning per se. The conclusion includes a personal opinion, which is acceptable, but the body lacks depth.
Examples
Advantages of owning: symbol of pride, confidence, security, no permission needed for changes, good investment. Disadvantages of renting: insecurity, landlord can reclaim property, accountability for damage, need for permission for alterations. However, advantages of renting (e.g., flexibility) are not discussed, and disadvantages of owning (e.g., maintenance costs, financial risk) are only briefly touched.
How to Improve
Ensure a balanced discussion by explicitly listing advantages and disadvantages for both owning and renting. Expand on each point with examples or explanations. For instance, explain how owning can be a financial burden or how renting offers mobility. Avoid mixing barriers to ownership (like high prices) with disadvantages of ownership itself.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, cohesion within paragraphs is weak, with ideas sometimes jumping abruptly. Linking words are used but not always effectively, and paragraph topics could be more focused.
Examples
In the owning paragraph, the writer moves from 'symbol of pride' to 'high prices' without a smooth transition. The use of 'Moreover' is appropriate, but 'whilehatever' is a typo that disrupts flow. The renting paragraph lists disadvantages but does not connect them logically.
How to Improve
Use a range of cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, in contrast, on the other hand) to link ideas. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that subsequent sentences support it. Proofread to avoid typos that break coherence.
Lexical Resource5.5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is relevant to the topic, but there are noticeable spelling and word formation errors, which reduce the precision and range. Some terms are used appropriately, but errors affect communication.
Examples
Misspellings: 'dreamth' (likely 'dreamed' or 'dreamt'), 'morgadge' ('mortgage'), 'tennent' ('tenant'), 'whilehatever' ('while whatever'). Inaccurate phrasing: 'sense if in security' ('sense of insecurity'), 'accomodation' ('accommodation').
How to Improve
Practice spelling common topic-related words (e.g., mortgage, tenant, investment). Use a dictionary or spell-check tool. Aim to use a wider variety of vocabulary accurately, such as synonyms for 'advantage' (benefit, perk) or 'disadvantage' (drawback, downside).
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5.5
Evaluation
Grammatical errors are frequent, including subject-verb agreement, tense usage, and article omissions. Sentence structures are mostly simple, with attempts at complexity that often contain mistakes.
Examples
Subject-verb agreement: 'Owner do not have' (should be 'Owners do not have' or 'An owner does not have'), 'he desire' ('he desires'), 'he need to ask' ('he needs to ask'). Article omission: 'personal house' ('a personal house'). Punctuation: missing commas and periods.
How to Improve
Focus on basic grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement and article usage. Practice writing complex sentences with clauses, ensuring they are grammatically correct. Proofread essays to identify and correct errors.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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