This Band 7 IELTS essay discusses the complexities of internet communication, addressing both its benefits and drawbacks. While the candidate presents a well-structured argument, the feedback highlights a need for further development of key ideas to enhance clarity and depth. By expanding on these points, students can better understand how to achieve higher scores in their writing.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Advantages/ Disadvantages · Internet · 40 min
The internet connects people from different places and makes the world feel smaller. Discuss the arguments for and against the idea that the internet has simplified communication between individuals and provide your own opinion on the matter.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (272 words) and addresses all parts of the task by discussing arguments for and against the internet simplifying communication and providing a clear opinion. It is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Vocabulary is generally adequate, and grammar is mostly accurate with a mix of sentence structures. However, arguments could be more developed, and there is some repetition in ideas and phrasing.
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The internet has transformed communication by eliminating geographical and temporal barriers. While some argue that it has brought people closer, others believe it has not necessarily improved interaction. I believe that the internet is a double-edged weapon that has both merits and demerits. It connects people around the world, but its impact is not always positive. This essay examines both perspectives and presents my viewpoint.
On the one hand, the internet offers numerous benefits for communication. It provides instant access to information, facilitates idea-sharing, and fosters collaboration across cultures. Additionally, it helps individuals maintain relationships regardless of distance. The following examples will suffice to illustrate this point; tools such as email, instant messaging, and video calls enable real-time interaction with minimal cost and effort. Moreover, digital platforms support social networking, education, entertainment, and business, making communication more dynamic and accessible.
On the other hand, online communication has several drawbacks. It can lead to misinformation, cybercrime, and social polarization, exposing users to manipulation and deception. Furthermore, digital interactions often lack emotional depth, diminishing the authenticity of relationships. Actually, the internet can reduce the personal and emotional aspects of communication. Thus, excessive internet use may contribute to isolation, distraction, and addiction, weakening interpersonal connections.
In conclusion, I deeply believe that the internet has simplified communication in many ways, yet it cannot replace face-to-face interaction. Its impact depends on how individuals utilize it. While it enhances global connectivity, the emotional warmth and depth of personal interaction remain irreplaceable. It connects people globally, but human emotions and personal contact are still important. Hence, the internet does make the world smaller, but only to a certain extent.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
0 errorsNo spelling mistakes found.
Grammatical Mistakes
1 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| point; tools | point: tools | Semicolon misuse; use a colon to introduce examples or explanations, as what follows is not an independent clause. |
Vocabulary Improvements
3 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| double-edged weapon | double-edged sword | Idiomatic expression; 'double-edged sword' is the standard phrase for something with both positive and negative effects. |
| Actually, | In fact, | 'Actually' is often too informal for academic writing; 'In fact' is more appropriate. |
| deeply believe | strongly believe | 'Deeply' can be overly emotional or informal; 'strongly' is preferred in formal essays for emphasis. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response
7
Evaluation
The candidate presents a clear position and addresses both sides of the argument. Main ideas are relevant and supported with examples (e.g., email, video calls; misinformation, emotional depth). However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and could be more detailed to achieve a higher band score.
Examples
For example, when discussing benefits, the essay mentions 'instant access to information' but does not elaborate on how that simplifies communication. Similarly, drawbacks like 'social polarization' are stated but not fully explained in the context of communication.
How to Improve
To improve, extend each main idea with more specific explanations or real-world examples. For instance, explain how email simplifies business communication or how lack of emotional depth leads to misunderstandings in online chats. Also, ensure the opinion is consistently developed throughout the essay, not just restated in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
7
Evaluation
The essay is well-organized with a clear progression: introduction, for/against paragraphs, and conclusion. Cohesive devices are used appropriately (e.g., 'On the one hand,' 'Furthermore,' 'In conclusion'). However, there is some repetition of ideas, particularly in the conclusion, and paragraph transitions could be smoother.
Examples
The introduction states: 'This essay examines both perspectives...' which sets up the structure. However, the conclusion repeats points from the introduction and body, such as 'It connects people globally, but human emotions... are still important.' Also, the phrase 'I deeply believe' in the conclusion is somewhat informal.
How to Improve
Avoid repeating the same points in different sections. Instead, synthesize the arguments in the conclusion to provide a nuanced final thought. Use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'Conversely,' 'Notwithstanding') to enhance flow between paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
7
Evaluation
Vocabulary is sufficient to discuss the topic, with some appropriate terms (e.g., 'geographical and temporal barriers,' 'fosters collaboration,' 'cybercrime,' 'interpersonal connections'). However, there is occasional imprecise word choice and some repetition of key terms.
Examples
The phrase 'double-edged weapon' is an uncommon collocation (usually 'double-edged sword'). Words like 'communication,' 'internet,' and 'people' are repeated. The use of 'Actually' in paragraph three is informal for academic writing.
How to Improve
Use more precise and varied vocabulary. For instance, instead of 'internet,' consider 'digital connectivity' or 'online platforms.' Replace informal words like 'Actually' with 'In fact' or 'Moreover.' Review collocations (e.g., 'double-edged sword') to ensure natural usage.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7
Evaluation
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentences, with generally accurate grammar. There are minor errors in punctuation and word choice, but they do not impede understanding.
Examples
In the sentence 'The following examples will suffice to illustrate this point;' the semicolon is incorrectly used (a colon or period would be better). 'I deeply believe' is grammatically correct but stylistically informal. The sentence 'It connects people around the world, but its impact is not always positive' is simple and could be combined with a more complex structure.
How to Improve
Practice using a wider range of complex structures, such as conditional sentences or relative clauses, to express ideas more succinctly. Pay attention to punctuation rules, especially with transitional phrases. Proofread to eliminate minor errors and improve sentence variety.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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