This Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses the varying opinions on high incomes and includes important feedback on coherence and grammatical issues. It attempts to address both views but lacks clarity in its structure and transitions, making it difficult to follow.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views · High Incomes · 40 min
Some people in different countries earn very high incomes. While some people think that this is beneficial for the nation, others believe that the government should limit how much money people can make. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: Hello User. The essay provides a discussion on whether high incomes in different countries are beneficial or if they should be regulated by the government. It successfully reaches the word count requirement but lacks development in some areas of argumentation. Coherence is often disrupted due to abrupt transitions and lack of connectivity between ideas. Improved variety in vocabulary and more precise grammar could enhance the response.
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In different countries, many people make too much money. Some people gave their opinions in thier favour and some suggest that The Government should keeps an eye on their income resources and should limit their income. I strongly disagree with the people who took charge on others. Anyone in the country should hardwork and he can also make money.
Lets talk about the people who remained in the favour of rich person. Actually, they strongly believe in hardwork. A person who worked day and night can earn much money. It is upon your goals and hardwork that how much are you serious to achieve your goals. If a person showed consistency, he can achieve anything he wants. If someone is earning too much then we should see his efforts, hardwork, consistency. Because without these factors no can succeed in life. If a person is earning too much then maybe he is enjoying the fruit efforts of his ancesstors.
In contrast, the people who suggests that government should keep an on their source of income are those, who never thinks about that type of effort which they make. In reality, they are showing jeoulsy for them. They should worked hard so that they can also earn much money like them.Here is the example of worlds richest person ELON MUSK. He showed consistency and worked hard as he can. In one of his statement he remarked that
I WORKED 16 HOURS A DAY, 7 DAYS IN A WEEK, 52 WEEKS A YEAR AND STILL PEOPLE CALL ME LUCKY.
If a person is working as hard as he do I think he is capable to earn much.
In Conclusion, If a person worked hard and stay consistent like MUSK, then am in his favour of earning too much. Because after that type of craze he deserve anything he wants. Once a Wise man remarked that WITH THE HARDWORK AND CONSISTENCY YOU CAN ACHIEVE ANYTHING YOU DREAMED. and I strongly belived in this quote.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
6 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| thier | their |
| hardwork | hard work |
| ancesstors | ancestors |
| jeoulsy | jealousy |
| worlds | world's |
| belived | believed |
Grammatical Mistakes
8 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| The Government should keeps | The government should keep | Subject-verb agreement: 'keeps' should be 'keep' to agree with 'The government' |
| suggests that government should keep an | suggest that the government should keep an | Subject-verb agreement and article use: 'suggests' should be 'suggest'; 'an' should follow 'keep' |
| no can succeed | no one can succeed | Incomplete phrase: 'no' should be 'no one' |
| we should see his efforts, hardwork, consistency. Because | we should see his efforts, hard work, consistency, because | Sentence fragment: 'Because' should not begin a new sentence |
| should worked hard | should work hard | Incorrect past tense: use base form after 'should' |
| thinks about that type of effort which they make | think about the kind of effort they make | Subject-verb agreement and phrasing correction |
| as hard as he do | as hard as he does | Subject-verb agreement: 'he do' should be 'he does' |
| am in his favour | I am in favor | Missing subject: should start with 'I'; 'favour' should follow standard spelling |
Vocabulary Improvements
7 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| too much money | substantial wealth | More precise term for academic tone |
| took charge on others | criticize others | Phrasing is unclear; 'criticize' is more precise |
| day and night | extensively | More formal way to convey the same meaning |
| rich person | wealthy individuals | Use a more inclusive term for clarity |
| stay consistent | remain consistent | More formal phrasing for an academic tone |
| type of craze | level of dedication | More precise term replacing a non-specific phrase |
| he deserve | he deserves | Subject-verb agreement: 'deserve' should be 'deserves' |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views and providing an opinion. However, the arguments against limiting high incomes are more developed than those in favor.
Examples
The writer gives examples like Elon Musk to support their point of view but doesn't provide a balanced discussion on why some believe high incomes should be limited.
How to Improve
To improve, the essay should provide more balanced arguments for both sides, including more detailed reasoning and examples for why high incomes should be limited.
Coherence & Cohesion5.5
Evaluation
The essay shows basic cohesion with paragraphs focused on specific view points. However, it suffers from a lack of logical development and flow.
Examples
Ideas are somewhat disjointed, such as sudden mentions of Elon Musk without leading into it smoothly.
How to Improve
Work on connecting ideas more effectively with transitional phrases and ensure each paragraph follows logically from the previous one.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
The lexical resource is adequate, with some good usage of vocabulary, although it can occasionally be repetitive and simplistic.
Examples
Repeated use of terms like 'hardwork' and 'earn much money'.
How to Improve
Expand the range of vocabulary by using synonyms and more varied language to express ideas more clearly and precisely.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
The grammatical range is limited and there are frequent mistakes affecting clarity and understanding.
Examples
Mistakes include incorrect tense usage such as 'I strongly disagree with the people who took charge on others' and issues with articles and pronouns.
How to Improve
Focus on improving sentence structure, using complex sentences, and practicing correct grammatical terms and patterns.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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