This band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay addresses the growing issue of academic pressure among teenagers. While it covers relevant causes and solutions, improvements in coherence and grammatical accuracy are needed to enhance clarity and cohesion in the writing.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Problem/ Solution · Education · 40 min
Academic pressure is causing mental health issues among teenagers, including anxiety, depression, and burnout.This growing problem is affecting students’ well-being and long-term development.
What are the causes of this issue, and what solutions can be suggested?Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay addresses the task, discussing causes and solutions for academic pressure-induced mental health issues among teenagers. However, there are several issues with coherence, grammar, and lexical resource. Improvements in these areas could enhance the overall score.
Now write your own — and see how your verdict holds up.
Submit your Education essay and receive AI scores across Task Response, Coherence, Lexical Resource, and Grammar — plus a Band 9 model answer for your exact question.
In recent years, academic pressure has become a major global concern. It causes of different mental health issues among young people. There are several reasons for academic pressure as well as there are solutions for this problem. In this essay, both sides will be discussed along with my opinion.
On the one hand, academic phase is a difficult stage of life for humans. Every people has to overcome this stage with various hurdles. However, academic struggles are increasing day by day which cause health issues such as anxiety, depression, and burnout. One of the main cause of academic challenges is competing with other rather than focusing on self improve. For example, students of urban areas have a tendancy to beat their rival by the academic result. Therefore, they lose their natural talent, and focus on institutional learning though they do not have interest.
Moreover, the other factor is parents' will. Most of the parents try to pressure their children for institutional success. For this reason, youth feel hesitation and deppression. To illustrate this point, a research was conducted by Health Institute of London on the impact of academic difficulties for dropping out from school. The study revealed that 55% students dropped out from school in 2011.
Nevertheless, it is important to acknoweledge that the issues also have solutions. There would be a fundamental viable step is parents should be wary. If the parents can maintain and spend their quality time with their children, children can be able to overcome their mental health issues. For instance, the teenagers who spend their leisure time with family, they can be more social and stable than others. The other contributor is access to sports. By palying sports with friends, they can be fit and able lose stress. For example, students who play cricket, they feel more fit and strong.
In my point, There are problems and solutions. Government should also take some effective measures to remedy the challenges such as making a strict policy for balancing academic works and mental health.
In conclusion, by taking steps and collaboration of government, parents. these problem can be solved.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
4 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| deppression | depression |
| tendancy | tendency |
| acknoweledge | acknowledge |
| palying | playing |
Grammatical Mistakes
9 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| It causes of different mental health issues | It causes different mental health issues | Misuse of preposition 'of'. |
| Every people has to overcome | Everyone has to overcome | Incorrect subject: 'people' should be 'everyone' for singular usage. |
| cause health issues | causes health issues | Subject-verb agreement: 'struggles' is plural and requires 'cause'. |
| One of the main cause of | One of the main causes of | Plurality error: 'causes' should be plural as it refers to 'one of the'. |
| competing with other | competing with others | Incorrect plural form: 'other' should be 'others'. |
| they can be able | they are able | Redundant phrasing: 'can be able' should be 'are able'. |
| they feel more fit | they feel fitter | Comparative form redundancy: 'more fit' should be 'fitter'. |
| In my point | In my opinion | Incorrect phrase: 'In my point' should be 'In my opinion'. |
| these problem can | these problems can | Plurality error: 'problem' should be 'problems' as it refers to more than one. |
Vocabulary Improvements
4 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| has become a major global concern | has emerged as a significant global issue | Suggestion to improve clarity and academic tone. |
| urban areas | metropolitan regions | More precise term for an academic context. |
| youth feel hesitation and depression | young individuals experience anxiety and depression | More precise and academic wording. |
| balancing academic works and mental health | balancing academic responsibilities and mental well-being | More accurate wording for an academic context. |
Ready to practise? Get instant AI feedback on your verdict.
Submit your Education essay and receive AI scores across all four IELTS criteria — with specific feedback on whether your solutions are specific, realistic, and matched to your problems.
Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The essay discusses relevant causes and solutions for the issue presented in the question.
Examples
The essay mentions competition among students and parental pressure as causes, and family time and sports as solutions.
How to Improve
Provide more detailed explanations and examples for each point discussed to strengthen the response.
Coherence & Cohesion5.5
Evaluation
The essay is somewhat cohesive but lacks clear connections between ideas in some areas.
Examples
Transitions between paragraphs could be smoother, and ideas within paragraphs could be more logically connected.
How to Improve
Use linking phrases to connect ideas more effectively and ensure each paragraph has a single clear topic.
Lexical Resource5.5
Evaluation
The essay shows an adequate range of vocabulary but includes several errors.
Examples
Incorrect word choice: 'deppression' instead of 'depression', 'palying' instead of 'playing'.
How to Improve
Improve vocabulary variety and correctness by reviewing spelling and using more precise terms.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures but contains frequent errors.
Examples
Errors like 'Every people has' and 'students who play cricket, they feel'.
How to Improve
Work on correcting grammatical errors and varying the sentence structure to include more complex forms.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
RELATED ESSAYS
01
Academic pressure is causing mental health issues among teenagers, including anxiety, depression, and burnout.This growing problem is affecting students’ well-being and long-term development.What are the causes of this issue, and what solutions can be suggested?Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, academic pressure is a reason for health related issues among young people, which includes anxiety, depression and burnout. Which has become a rising ...
02
Drug abuse has become a growing concern in many societies. What are the factors that contribute to the increasing problem of drug abuse in our society, and how can we address them? Write at least 250 words.
In recent years, many countries have been facing a variety of social and economic challenges. Among these, the issue mentioned in the statement has become a ma...
03
Student behaviour is a serious issue in many schools around the world. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Write at least 250 words.
There is an old line in the Philippines where a person can be judge with their character at home based on the behavior they display publicly. It is fundamental ...
04
Drug abuse has become a growing concern in many societies. What are the factors that contribute to the increasing problem of drug abuse in our society, and how can we address them? Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, people with illnesses are increasing rapidly due to the contamination in the environment and unhealthy diets. Becoming a reason to use medicine to mai...
05
Student behaviour is a serious issue in many schools around the world. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Write at least 250 words.
Problem and Solution Essay Template (with Signposting Language – 250+ Words)
In recent years, many countries have been facing a variety of social and economic c...