Achieving a Band 5.5 in the IELTS Writing Task 2 can be challenging, especially when addressing topics like academic pressure. This essay discusses the causes and potential solutions but suffers from issues in organization and vocabulary clarity. Improving these areas could enhance the overall effectiveness of the argument presented.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Problem/ Solution · Education · 40 min
Academic pressure is causing mental health issues among teenagers, including anxiety, depression, and burnout.This growing problem is affecting students’ well-being and long-term development.
What are the causes of this issue, and what solutions can be suggested?Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay addresses the task by discussing causes and solutions for academic pressure, meeting the word count requirement. However, ideas are developed in a basic manner, and there are issues with organization, vocabulary, and grammar that limit clarity and sophistication.
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Education is the key to shape student's life, it helps to gain knowledge and skills but sometimes children suffer from stress, pressure, depression and anxiety. This is mainly due to work completion pressure or exam stress they feel from their school or colleges. However, there are a range of measures that could be implemented to resolve the issue of academic pressure.
One of the causes of stress and anxiety is fear of failure. Failing fear came into student by achieving low grades in exams or by de-motived from other people, this leads to overthinking, less sleep and increase mental pressure. Another cause is high expectations of parents and society towards their child. Sometimes, by gaining less score parents disappoint and force their child to study more indirectly put burden to achieve top grades. In addition, parents start comparing their child with other student who is topper. However, deadline to submit assignments, projects and workload from school or colleges makes student's mind stressful.
However, there are number of ways to minimize the academic pressure and make child feel free. Firstly, do not talk negative when student score less, encourage by telling them that failure is a part of learning, growing and experiencing things. Person who know the feeling of failure can able to handle any type of situation because they know how to come out from that .Secondly ,parents should support their child to perform well in academics by helping them to make a proper study plan, everyday to-do lists and create a peaceful environment of house to improve concentration while studying. Futhermore, Learn time management skills to complete the task on time and do outdoor activities to reduce stress.
In conclusion, lack of proper guidance, fear of fall down and more expectation from parents is mainly the reason why student struggle with depression and this leads to less productivity and decrease in new innovations. Not only parents can support their child to reduce mental stress, but also schools or colleges can introduce many ways to make student feel happy such as, by providing them music sessions to calm their mind or sports events.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
2 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| de-motived | demotivated |
| Futhermore | Furthermore |
Grammatical Mistakes
9 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| to shape student's life | to shaping a student's life | After 'key to', use a gerund or noun phrase |
| life, it helps | life. It helps | Comma splice; use a period or conjunction to separate independent clauses |
| Failing fear came into student | Fear of failure affects students | Incorrect word order and subject-verb agreement; use standard phrasing |
| by de-motived | by being demotivated | Passive voice construction error; use past participle with auxiliary verb |
| increase mental pressure | increased mental pressure | Parallel structure; use adjective form to match 'overthinking' and 'less sleep' |
| there are number of ways | there are a number of ways | Missing article; 'a number of' is a fixed phrase |
| Person who know | A person who knows | Subject-verb agreement; 'person' is singular, so 'knows' |
| can able to handle | can handle | Modal verb 'can' should not be followed by 'able'; use one or the other |
| fear of fall down | fear of failure | Incorrect phrase; 'fall down' is not idiomatic in this context |
Vocabulary Improvements
5 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| children | students | 'Children' is less formal and may not encompass all age groups; 'students' is more appropriate for academic context |
| topper | top student | Informal term; use more formal alternative like 'top student' or 'high achiever' |
| talk negative | speak negatively | Incorrect adverb use; 'negative' is an adjective, so use 'negatively' as an adverb |
| feel free | feel less stressed | Informal phrasing; use language that directly addresses stress reduction for academic tone |
| more expectation | high expectations | Vague; 'more' is informal; use 'high' or 'excessive' for precision |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The response covers both causes and solutions as required, but the development is somewhat superficial. Key points are presented but not fully extended or supported with specific examples.
Examples
Causes mentioned include fear of failure and parental expectations; solutions include encouragement and time management. However, these points are stated generally without detailed explanation or evidence.
How to Improve
To improve, extend each main idea with specific examples, statistics, or personal anecdotes. Ensure that both causes and solutions are explored in depth, and link them clearly to mental health outcomes.
Coherence & Cohesion5.5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, but paragraphing is inconsistent and linking devices are sometimes misused. The flow of ideas can be awkward.
Examples
The first paragraph introduces the topic but abruptly shifts to causes. Transition words like 'However' are used incorrectly in the second paragraph. The conclusion repeats points without synthesizing them effectively.
How to Improve
Improve paragraphing by dedicating one paragraph per main idea. Use cohesive devices appropriately (e.g., 'furthermore', 'in addition') to connect sentences and paragraphs. Ensure a logical progression from causes to solutions.
Lexical Resource5.5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with several spelling and word choice errors. Some terms are imprecise or awkward, affecting clarity.
Examples
Errors include 'de-motived' (should be 'demotivated'), 'futhermore' (should be 'furthermore'), 'fall down' (should be 'failure'). Phrases like 'make child feel free' are colloquial and unclear.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary range by learning and using more academic terms related to education and mental health. Practice spelling and word formation. Use a dictionary or thesaurus to find precise words, and avoid repetitive phrases.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
There are frequent grammatical errors in sentence structure, verb tenses, articles, and prepositions. Sentences are often simple or incorrectly constructed, hindering meaning.
Examples
Incorrect: 'Failing fear came into student by achieving low grades' (should be 'Fear of failure arises in students when they achieve low grades'). 'Person who know the feeling' (should be 'A person who knows the feeling').
How to Improve
Focus on mastering basic grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement, articles, and tense consistency. Practice writing complex sentences with clauses. Proofread essays to identify and correct errors.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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