This Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay addresses the pressing issue of drug abuse, highlighting peer pressure and stress as main factors. However, clarity issues and inaccurate vocabulary significantly hinder the impact of the response. This page will provide feedback on how to enhance the clarity and vocabulary of your essay.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Problem/ Solution · Drugs · 40 min
Drug abuse has become a growing concern in many societies. What are the factors that contribute to the increasing problem of drug abuse in our society, and how can we address them?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (380 vs. 250 required) and addresses the prompt by discussing factors like peer pressure and stress, along with solutions. However, the response is somewhat superficial, with inaccuracies in examples and limited development. Language errors in vocabulary and grammar reduce clarity and impact.
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Drug abuse has become a major concern to nations worldwide. Drug abuse is the use use of illicit drugs such as methanol, tobacco , bhang , alcohol etc. In this essay i am going to shed light on how it has become a problem to the society and also provide solution.
To begin with, drugs abuse are mostly done by teenagers due to peer pressure. One gets the pressure of trying to fit in to a crowd and be friends with them by doing drugs so as appease them. This is a major factor because one may get shammed for not doing drugs and end up being lonely at school. This affects the students performance by reducing it from an A to D in the test or examination given. This also affects how the student interact with the elders, you may find a humble child talking rudely to the teachers and other students and maybe reaches a point they get aggressive. The solution to this problem is the school should teach the students the dangers of using drugs and the damages it can do on there body. The school should also increase CCTV on the premises so as to get those students abusing drugs and counsel them on the dangers of drug abuse
Additionally, stress is also another factor that increase the rate of drug abuse in our society. One may be suffering from stress due to divorce, unpaid bills, parent issues etc. One abuses drugs so as to try and forget the issues that they are dealing with. The most common drug used for this is marijuana, this drugs makes people hallucinate and forget what they are going through. People should always know that unsolved problems will remain unsolved unless u solve them. The best way to cop with stress is by doing your hobbies so as to distract your mind from the stress your going through. Through this, it will help your mind to think straight on how to solve your issue and be stress free.
In conclusion, drug abuse has become a rampant intoxication the society due to many factors such as peer pressure and stress. But drug abuse is not the way to cop up with life rather it a tool of destruction to ones life
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
7 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| use use | use |
| i | I |
| shammed | shamed |
| there | their |
| cop | cope |
| u | you |
| your | you're |
Grammatical Mistakes
6 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| drugs abuse are mostly done | drug abuse is mostly done | Subject-verb agreement: 'drug abuse' is singular, so 'is' should be used instead of 'are'. |
| so as appease them | so as to appease them | Missing infinitive marker 'to'; the phrase should be 'so as to' for purpose. |
| how the student interact | how the student interacts | Subject-verb agreement: 'student' is singular, so the verb should be 'interacts'. |
| increase CCTV on the premises | increase CCTV surveillance on the premises | Collocation error: 'CCTV' is typically used with 'surveillance' or 'cameras' to convey proper meaning. |
| stress is also another factor that increase | stress is also another factor that increases | Subject-verb agreement: 'factor' is singular, so the verb should be 'increases'. |
| this drugs makes | this drug makes | Agreement error: 'this' is singular, so it should modify 'drug', not 'drugs'. |
Vocabulary Improvements
5 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| methanol | methamphetamine | Incorrect term: methanol is not commonly abused as a recreational drug; 'methamphetamine' is a more appropriate example. |
| bhang | cannabis | Regional term; 'cannabis' is more standard and precise in academic writing. |
| do your hobbies | engage in your hobbies | Informal word choice; 'engage in' is more suitable for academic context than 'do'. |
| think straight | think clearly | Informal idiom; 'think clearly' is more precise and academically appropriate. |
| rampant intoxication | rampant problem | Wrong word choice: 'intoxication' refers to the state of being under the influence, not the act of abuse; 'problem' is more accurate. |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response
5.5
Evaluation
The essay covers both factors and solutions as required, but the analysis is basic and includes some irrelevant or inaccurate examples (e.g., methanol is not a typical illicit drug). Ideas are presented but not fully extended or supported with detailed reasoning.
Examples
Factors mentioned: peer pressure among teenagers and stress from life issues. Solutions: school education on dangers, CCTV monitoring, counseling, and hobbies for stress relief. However, points like 'methanol, tobacco, bhang, alcohol' as illicit drugs are misleading, and solutions are briefly stated without depth.
How to Improve
Develop each factor and solution with more specific, relevant examples and explanations. Ensure all examples are accurate and directly related to drug abuse. Provide clearer links between causes and effects, and explore a wider range of societal factors.
Coherence and Cohesion
5.5
Evaluation
The essay has a recognizable structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, coherence is affected by poor paragraph development and abrupt shifts between ideas within paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used but sometimes incorrectly or insufficiently.
Examples
The first body paragraph moves from peer pressure to school performance to behavior without smooth transitions. Phrases like 'To begin with' and 'Additionally' provide basic organization, but within paragraphs, sentences lack logical flow (e.g., jumping from CCTV to counseling).
How to Improve
Use topic sentences to introduce main ideas in each paragraph, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate logically. Improve linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph focuses on one central theme.
Lexical Resource
5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with several spelling and word choice errors. The language is often informal, and some terms are inaccurate or non-standard, reducing precision and sophistication.
Examples
Incorrect or atypical terms: 'methanol' (likely meant 'methamphetamine'), 'bhang' (region-specific), 'cop' instead of 'cope', 'u' for 'you'. Repetition of 'drug abuse' and basic phrases like 'shed light on'. Informal expressions: 'get shammed', 'tool of destruction'.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary related to social issues, drug abuse, and solutions. Use more precise and formal terms. Avoid informal abbreviations and slang. Proofread to correct spelling errors and ensure word choice is appropriate for academic writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
5
Evaluation
Grammar is frequently inaccurate, with errors in subject-verb agreement, verb forms, prepositions, and punctuation. Sentence structures are mostly simple, with attempts at complexity but marred by mistakes, affecting clarity.
Examples
Errors: 'drugs abuse are' (should be 'drug abuse is'), 'so as appease' (missing 'to'), 'on there body' (should be 'their body'), 'cop up with' (should be 'cope with'), 'it a tool' (missing 'is'). Inconsistent capitalization: 'i am' instead of 'I am'. Run-on sentences and missing punctuation.
How to Improve
Practice using a variety of sentence structures (simple, compound, complex) with correct grammar. Focus on subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and article usage. Proofread carefully for punctuation and spelling errors. Avoid contractions and informal language.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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