This Band 5.5 IELTS essay addresses drug abuse through problem and solution analysis but suffers from significant language and clarity issues. Frequent spelling and grammatical errors hinder effective communication. To enhance your IELTS score, it's crucial to avoid these common pitfalls and focus on clearer expressions of ideas.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Problem/ Solution Β· Drugs Β· 40 min
Drug abuse has become a growing concern in many societies. What are the factors that contribute to the increasing problem of drug abuse in our society, and how can we address them?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (312 words) and addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing factors contributing to drug abuse and suggesting solutions. However, it is marred by frequent language errors in spelling, grammar, and vocabulary, which reduce clarity and sophistication. The structure is basic but could be improved with better paragraphing and cohesion.
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DRUGS CONSEMPTION OR SELLING HAS BECOOM ONE OF MOST SERIOUS SOCIAL PROBLEMES IN MANY COUNTRIES .IT AFFECTS NOT ONLY INDIVIDUALS BUT ALSO FAMILIES AND ENTIRE COMMUNITIES . THEREFORE IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND THE MAIN PROBLEMS CAUSED BYTHIS PHENOMENAN AND MAKE EFFORTS TO FIND AND SUGGEST SOLUTIONS TO REDUCE THIS DANGER ISSUE .
ON ONE HAND , ONE OF THE MAIN MAJOUR CAUSES OF DRUG ABUSE IS PEER PRESSURE , MANY YOUNG PEOPLE START USING DRUGS DUE TO THE PRESSURE FROM THEIR FRIENDS OR CLASSMATES . THEY MAY WANT TO FIT IN WITH A GROUP OR AVOID BEEING REJECTED .IN ADDITION ,THE LACK OF EDUCATION AND AWARNESS PLAY A CRUCUAL ROLE IN THIS ESSIUE ,IN SOME COMMUNITIES PEOPLE ARE NOT FULLY AWARE ABOUT THE DANGER OF chemical products" title="Correction: these chemical products">THIS CHEMICAL PRODUCTS WHICH ARE MADE FROM CHEMICAL PROUDUCTS .FURTHERMORE , FAMILY PROBLEMS; POVERTY AND UNEMPLOYMENT ARE A CONSIDIRABLE FACTOR . UNSTABLE FAMILY ENVIRONMENT AND FINANCIAL DIFFICULTIES .FOR EXAMPLE , CONFLICTS BETWEEN PARENTS ; LACK OF EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ; FEELING HOPELESS ABOUT FUTURE CAN PUSH YOUNG PEOPLE TOWARD DRUGS USE AS A WAY TO ESCAPE THEIR PROBLEMS AND TO FORGET THEIR STRUGGLES .
ON THE OTHER HAND , SEVERAL SOLUTIONS CAN PREVENT THIS ISSUE . FIRSTLY , GOVERNMENTS SHOULD INVEST MORE MONEY IN EDUCATION AND AWARENESS C PROGRAMS . SCHOOL AND MEDIA CAMPAIGNS CAN INFORM YOUNG PEOPLE ABOUT THE DANGER OF DRUGS AND HELP THEM MAKE BETTER DECISIONS . SECONDLY , PUTTING STRICT LAWS AGAINST DRUG DEALERS AND REDUCE THE AVAILABILITY OF DRUGS . FINALY , PROVIDE REHABILITATION CENTERS AND PSYCHOLOGICAL SUPPORT IS ESSENTIAL FOR HELPING ADDICTS TO RECOVER AND REINTGRATE IN SOCIETY .
ULTIMETLY , DRUG ABUSE A SERIOUS PROBLEM THAT AFFECT MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH ; SECURITY AND SOCIAL STABILITY . NEVERTHERLESS THROUGH EDUCATION ; REHABILITATION AND STRONG LAW INFORCEMENTS GOVERMNTS AND SOCIETIES CAN REDUCE DRUG CONSUMPTION AND PROTECT THE FUTURE GENERATIONS .
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
18 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| CONSEMPTION | CONSUMPTION |
| BECOOM | BECOME |
| PROBLEMES | PROBLEMS |
| BYTHIS | BY THIS |
| PHENOMENAN | PHENOMENON |
| MAJOUR | MAJOR |
| BEEING | BEING |
| AWARNESS | AWARENESS |
| CRUCUAL | CRUCIAL |
| ESSIUE | ISSUE |
| PROUDUCTS | PRODUCTS |
| CONSIDIRABLE | CONSIDERABLE |
| FINALY | FINALLY |
| REINTGRATE | REINTEGRATE |
| ULTIMETLY | ULTIMATELY |
| NEVERTHERLESS | NEVERTHELESS |
| INFORCEMENTS | ENFORCEMENT |
| GOVERMNTS | GOVERNMENTS |
Grammatical Mistakes
14 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| ONE OF MOST SERIOUS | one of the most serious | Missing definite article 'the' before superlative |
| DRUGS CONSEMPTION | drug consumption | 'Drugs' should not be plural when used as a modifier; use 'drug' for the noun modifier |
| THE LACK OF EDUCATION AND AWARNESS PLAY | the lack of education and awareness plays | Subject-verb agreement: 'the lack' is singular, so verb should be 'plays' |
| AWARE ABOUT THE DANGER | aware of the dangers | Preposition error: 'aware of' not 'aware about'; 'dangers' plural for clarity |
| THIS CHEMICAL PRODUCTS | these chemical products | Demonstrative adjective error: 'this' is singular, but 'products' is plural, so use 'these' |
| FAMILY PROBLEMS; POVERTY AND UNEMPLOYMENT ARE A CONSIDIRABLE FACTOR | Family problems, poverty, and unemployment are considerable factors | Semicolon should be comma in a list, and 'factor' should be plural 'factors' to agree with multiple subjects |
| UNSTABLE FAMILY ENVIRONMENT AND FINANCIAL DIFFICULTIES | Unstable family environment and financial difficulties are also factors | Sentence fragment; needs a verb to be a complete sentence |
| CONFLICTS BETWEEN PARENTS ; LACK OF EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ; FEELING HOPELESS ABOUT FUTURE | conflicts between parents, lack of emotional support, and feeling hopeless about the future | Semicolons should be commas in a list, and 'the future' requires the definite article |
| DRUGS USE | drug use | 'Drugs' should not be plural when used as a modifier; use 'drug' for the noun modifier |
| PUTTING STRICT LAWS AGAINST DRUG DEALERS AND REDUCE THE AVAILABILITY OF DRUGS | Governments should put strict laws against drug dealers and reduce the availability of drugs | Sentence fragment; missing subject and verb for the main clause |
| PROVIDE REHABILITATION CENTERS AND PSYCHOLOGICAL SUPPORT IS ESSENTIAL | Providing rehabilitation centers and psychological support is essential | Verb form error; gerund 'providing' should be used as subject instead of infinitive 'provide' |
| DRUG ABUSE A SERIOUS PROBLEM THAT AFFECT MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH ; SECURITY AND SOCIAL STABILITY | Drug abuse is a serious problem that affects mental and physical health, security, and social stability | Missing verb 'is' after 'abuse', and 'affect' should be 'affects' for subject 'that'. Semicolons should be commas |
| THROUGH EDUCATION ; REHABILITATION AND STRONG LAW INFORCEMENTS | through education, rehabilitation, and strong law enforcement | Semicolons should be commas in a list, and 'law enforcements' should be 'law enforcement' (non-count noun) |
| PEER PRESSURE , MANY YOUNG PEOPLE START | Peer pressure. Many young people start | Comma splice; two independent clauses should be separated by a period or semicolon |
Vocabulary Improvements
9 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| DANGER ISSUE | dangerous issue | 'Danger' is a noun; here an adjective is needed to modify 'issue', so use 'dangerous' |
| MAIN MAJOUR CAUSES | major causes | Redundant; 'main' and 'major' mean similar things; use one for conciseness |
| CHEMICAL PRODUCTS | drugs | Vague; in the context of drug abuse, 'drugs' is more precise than 'chemical products' |
| CONSIDIRABLE FACTOR | significant factor | 'Considerable' is acceptable, but 'significant' is more common in academic writing |
| PUTTING STRICT LAWS | enacting strict laws | 'Putting' is informal; 'enacting' is more appropriate for laws in formal context |
| LAW INFORCEMENTS | law enforcement | 'Enforcement' is a non-count noun; no plural form needed |
| PROVIDE REHABILITATION CENTERS | providing rehabilitation centers | Verb form; in this context, gerund is better for formal writing |
| REINTGRATE IN SOCIETY | reintegrate into society | Preposition error; 'into' is used with 'reintegrate' |
| PROTECT THE FUTURE GENERATIONS | protect future generations | Definite article 'the' is unnecessary; 'future generations' is a general term |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The response covers the task by identifying key factors (e.g., peer pressure, lack of education, family problems) and proposing solutions (e.g., education programs, strict laws, rehabilitation). However, some points are overly general and repetitive, and development could be deeper with more specific examples.
Examples
The essay mentions 'peer pressure' and 'family problems' as causes but does not elaborate with detailed instances. Solutions like 'strict laws against drug dealers' are stated without further explanation.
How to Improve
Provide more concrete examples for each factor and solution. Avoid repeating ideas from the introduction. Ensure each paragraph fully develops one main idea with supporting details.
Coherence & Cohesion5.5
Evaluation
The essay has a clear introduction-body-conclusion structure, but paragraphing is inconsistent. Transition words are used (e.g., 'on one hand', 'furthermore'), but the flow between ideas is sometimes mechanical. Some sentences are poorly linked, affecting overall coherence.
Examples
The first body paragraph mixes multiple causes without clear separation. The use of semicolons in lists (e.g., 'FAMILY PROBLEMS; POVERTY AND UNEMPLOYMENT') is incorrect. The conclusion is brief and repetitive.
How to Improve
Use topic sentences to introduce each paragraph's main idea. Improve paragraph organization by focusing on one cause or solution per paragraph. Use appropriate linking words (e.g., 'however', 'in contrast') to connect ideas smoothly.
Lexical Resource5.5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is relevant to the topic but limited and often misspelled or misused. There are several spelling errors and repetitive phrases, which reduce the range and accuracy of lexical resource.
Examples
Misspellings: 'consemption' for 'consumption', 'becomm' for 'become', 'problemes' for 'problems', 'awarness' for 'awareness'. Repetition: 'chemical products' used redundantly. Awkward phrasing: 'this danger issue' instead of 'this dangerous issue'.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by learning synonyms and topic-specific terms. Proofread carefully to correct spelling errors. Use a dictionary or thesaurus to choose more precise words and avoid repetition.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay, including subject-verb agreement, punctuation mistakes, and sentence structure issues. While some complex sentences are attempted, errors often impede meaning.
Examples
Subject-verb agreement: 'DRUG ABUSE A SERIOUS PROBLEM THAT AFFECT' should be 'Drug abuse is a serious problem that affects'. Punctuation: Incorrect use of semicolons in lists. Sentence fragments: 'FOR EXAMPLE , CONFLICTS BETWEEN PARENTS ; LACK OF EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ; FEELING HOPELESS ABOUT FUTURE CAN PUSH...' is poorly structured.
How to Improve
Review basic grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement and punctuation. Practice writing complex sentences with correct clause structures. Consider using grammar checking tools and seeking feedback to identify common errors.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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