This Band 5.5 IELTS essay addresses student behavior issues but lacks sufficient content and coherence. With only 200 words, it falls short of the required length, affecting the depth of solutions presented. Discover how to enhance your writing by developing ideas fully and ensuring clear conclusions.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Problem/ Solution · Student Behaviour · 40 min
Student behaviour is a serious issue in many schools around the world. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay partially addresses the task by discussing causes and suggesting solutions, but it is under the required 250 words (only 200 words). This results in incomplete development, especially in the solutions section, and the lack of a conclusion affects coherence. Content is relevant, but task achievement is limited due to the short length.
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Student behaviour is a serious problem in many schools around the world and can negatively affect both teaching and learning. There are several causes behind this issue, and a range of effective solutions can be applied to improve the situation.
One of the main causes of poor student behaviour is a lack of parental guidance. When parents are too busy or uninterested in their children’s education, students may develop irresponsible attitudes and show little respect for school rules. Another important factor is the influence of technology, particularly social media and online games, which can expose young people to violent or inappropriate content. This often leads to aggressive behaviour and reduced attention in class. In addition, weak discipline policies in schools can encourage misbehaviour. If rules are unclear or punishments are inconsistent, students are more likely to ignore them. Academic pressure and stress also play a role, as students who struggle with their studies may express frustration through disruptive behaviour.
To address these problems, several solutions should be considered. Firstly, schools should strengthen cooperation with parents by organizing regular meetings and providing clear feedback on students’ progress and behaviour. Secondly, schools must establish clear rules and enforce them fairly and consistently.
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
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Task Response5
Evaluation
The candidate identifies relevant causes such as lack of parental guidance, technology influence, weak discipline, and academic pressure, with some explanation. However, the solutions are only briefly introduced and not fully developed, and the essay does not meet the minimum word count, indicating insufficient content.
Examples
Examples include explaining how parental busyness leads to irresponsible attitudes, and how social media exposure causes aggressive behavior. Solutions are mentioned but cut off after two points.
How to Improve
Expand on each solution with specific details and examples. Ensure the essay reaches at least 250 words by fully developing both causes and solutions, and add a conclusion to summarize the main ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion5.5
Evaluation
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, a paragraph for causes, and a start for solutions. Cohesive devices like 'One of the main causes,' 'Another important factor,' and 'Firstly' are used appropriately. However, the essay is incomplete without a conclusion, which disrupts the overall flow.
Examples
Use of transitional phrases to list causes and solutions, but no concluding sentence or paragraph to tie the essay together.
How to Improve
Add a concluding paragraph to summarise the key points and provide a sense of closure. Ensure each paragraph is fully developed with clear topic sentences and supporting details.
Lexical Resource6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is adequate and generally accurate for the topic, with some variety. There are no significant errors in word choice or spelling, but the range is limited due to the short length.
Examples
Words like 'parental guidance,' 'irresponsible attitudes,' 'aggressive behaviour,' and 'disruptive behaviour' are used appropriately.
How to Improve
Incorporate more academic and topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'proactive measures,' 'behavioral interventions,' 'socioeconomic factors') to demonstrate a wider lexical range. Avoid repetition by using synonyms.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6
Evaluation
Grammar is mostly accurate with a mix of simple and complex sentences. There are no major errors, but the range of structures is somewhat limited, and the essay's brevity restricts demonstration of full grammatical control.
Examples
Complex sentences such as 'When parents are too busy or uninterested in their children’s education, students may develop irresponsible attitudes' and 'If rules are unclear or punishments are inconsistent, students are more likely to ignore them.'
How to Improve
Use a wider variety of sentence structures, including passive voice, conditional sentences, and relative clauses, to showcase grammatical flexibility. Ensure sentences are error-free and varied in length and complexity.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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