This Band 5 IELTS essay addresses academic pressure's causes and solutions but struggles with clarity and coherence. Key feedback points include the need for clearer argument development and smoother transitions for better reader comprehension.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Problem/ Solution · Education · 40 min
Academic pressure is causing mental health issues among teenagers, including anxiety, depression, and burnout.This growing problem is affecting students’ well-being and long-term development.
What are the causes of this issue, and what solutions can be suggested?Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay addresses the prompt by identifying causes of academic pressure (parental expectations, societal competition) and suggesting solutions (change in parenting, school guidance). However, the response lacks depth and clarity, with some irrelevant details (e.g., fast-paced society). The word count of 400 meets the minimum requirement (250+). Key weaknesses include poor grammatical control, limited vocabulary with frequent errors, and weak coherence despite some paragraph structure. Overall, the essay demonstrates limited competence, placing it around band 5.0.
Now write your own — and see how your verdict holds up.
Submit your Education essay and receive AI scores across Task Response, Coherence, Lexical Resource, and Grammar — plus a Band 9 model answer for your exact question.
one of the most attractive issues these recent years is the problem of getting pressure from studying. This can result students to be stuck in their lives of well-being and future developing.
there are, in fact, many causes that lead to this problem. firstly, the parents ussually put their hope in your children to be successfull and give their kids orientations in the way they think it's good. Parents may force their children to jump into the path that is given to them, ignoring what the children are disering for the future. They makes a schedules for their children with constant lessons without time for relaxing. gradually, the chilren feel uncomfortable and hate what they are doing, andd then emerging in sorrows and presure. furthermore, parents look at their children's results at school and throw some bad words" title="Correction: sometimes, out of control, they throw some bad words">sometimes out of control to throw some bad words to their kids that make the kids more and more inconfident. another reason is that, in this modern society, everything is flying so fast that some young people may feel leaving behind. There are a lots of things such as Aritificial Intellegience, Digital developments are running speedily. If the young people would like to get a good job in the future they have to try a lot to catch up with the society's developing. hence, they are heading for studying many things that they have no time to refresh their mind and depression is coming to them.
there are just several special causes that lead young people to get pressure. To reduce the pressure for the children, we should, fistly, change the way of parents' educatiing their children. insteading of pushing their kids to follow what they are setting up, parents had better know how to discover their children's wishings and give them good advices. parents are able to explain the pros and cons for the children to hold in whichs they are like to do. Additionally, parents should company with their children in studying and also give them some leisure time to hang out with their friends instead of always being at home fro studying. furthermore, teenagers are those who are easilly vunerable and emotional, so guiding them must both reasonally and heartedly. shcool should have some extra courses to give them some basic knowledge of real life and the oriented future jobs.
to conclude, there ae many reason that could lead teenagers to be depressed.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
21 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| ussually | usually |
| successfull | successful |
| disering | desiring |
| chilren | children |
| andd | and |
| presure | pressure |
| inconfident | unconfident |
| Aritificial | Artificial |
| Intellegience | Intelligence |
| fistly | firstly |
| educatiing | educating |
| insteading | instead |
| wishings | wishes |
| whichs | which |
| fro | for |
| easilly | easily |
| vunerable | vulnerable |
| reasonally | rationally |
| shcool | school |
| ae | are |
| a lots | a lot |
Grammatical Mistakes
14 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| This can result students to be stuck | This can result in students being stuck | 'result' requires the preposition 'in' followed by a gerund or noun phrase. |
| They makes a schedules | They make schedules | Subject-verb agreement: 'they' takes 'make', not 'makes'. Also 'a schedules' is incorrect; use 'schedules' (plural) or 'a schedule' (singular). |
| andd then emerging in sorrows | and then emerge in sorrow | The verb after 'and then' should be a finite verb ('emerge') to match the tense of 'feel' and 'hate', not a participle. Also 'sorrows' is typically uncountable; use 'sorrow'. |
| sometimes out of control to throw some bad words | sometimes, out of control, they throw some bad words | The phrase is a fragment; a subject ('they') and a main verb are needed. Add 'they' and restructure. |
| some young people may feel leaving behind | some young people may feel left behind | After 'feel', the passive participle 'left' is required, not the active participle 'leaving'. |
| There are a lots of things such as Aritificial Intellegience, Digital developments are running speedily | There are a lot of things such as Artificial Intelligence and Digital developments that are advancing rapidly | Comma splice: two independent clauses are joined by a comma. Use a conjunction (e.g., 'and') or a relative clause ('that are ...'). |
| catch up with the society's developing | catch up with society's development | Use the noun 'development' instead of the gerund 'developing' after the possessive. |
| refresh their mind | refresh their minds | The possessive 'their' is plural, so the noun should be plural: 'minds'. |
| To reduce the pressure for the children | To reduce pressure on children | The correct preposition with 'pressure' is 'on', not 'for'. |
| give them good advices | give them good advice | 'Advice' is an uncountable noun; it does not take a plural form. |
| for the children to hold in whichs they are like to do | to help children decide what they like to do | The original phrasing is nonsensical. Rephrase to express the idea clearly. |
| company with their children | accompany their children | 'Company' is a noun; the correct verb is 'accompany'. |
| guiding them must both reasonally and heartedly | guiding them must be both rational and heartfelt | Missing the verb 'be' before 'both'; also 'reasonally' is misspelled and 'heartedly' is nonstandard. |
| there ae many reason that could lead teenagers to be depressed | there are many reasons that could lead teenagers to depression | Subject-verb agreement: 'many' requires a plural noun 'reasons'. Also 'ae' is a spelling error. |
Vocabulary Improvements
10 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| attractive issues | pressing issues | 'Attractive' has a positive connotation and is unsuitable for describing a problem. 'Pressing' indicates urgency. |
| getting pressure from studying | facing pressure from studying | 'Getting' is informal; 'facing' is more precise and academic. |
| future developing | future development | 'Developing' is a gerund; use the noun 'development' for a more formal and accurate term. |
| emerging in sorrows | immersed in sorrow | 'Emerging' means coming out, which is the opposite of intended meaning. 'Immersed' or 'drowning in' conveys the idea of being overwhelmed. |
| throw some bad words | use harsh words | 'Throw bad words' is an incorrect collocation. 'Use harsh words' is standard and clear. |
| everything is flying so fast | everything is changing so rapidly | 'Flying so fast' is informal and overly metaphorical. 'Changing rapidly' is more appropriate for an academic context. |
| try a lot | try hard | 'Try a lot' is informal and vague; 'try hard' or 'make great efforts' is more standard. |
| had better know | should learn | 'Had better' is imperative and informal; 'should' is more suitable for offering advice. |
| hang out with | spend time with | 'Hang out with' is colloquial; 'spend time with' is more formal and appropriate for an essay. |
| heartedly | heartfelt | 'Hearted' is not standard; the intended meaning is 'with heart' – 'heartfelt' is a proper adjective. |
Ready to practise? Get instant AI feedback on your verdict.
Submit your Education essay and receive AI scores across all four IELTS criteria — with specific feedback on whether your solutions are specific, realistic, and matched to your problems.
Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The essay covers both causes and solutions, but the development is superficial. The introduction is unclear, and the conclusion is abrupt and incomplete. Some points, such as the discussion of technology, are only loosely connected to academic pressure. The response does not fully explore the issues or provide well-supported arguments.
Examples
Causes mentioned: parental pressure and societal competition. Solutions: changing parenting style and school guidance. However, examples like 'Aritificial Intellegience' are not clearly linked to academic pressure, and the conclusion merely states that many reasons exist without summarizing solutions.
How to Improve
Fully address all parts of the question by providing more specific examples and explanations. Ensure each cause and solution is clearly linked to the topic. Develop a stronger conclusion that summarizes both causes and solutions. Avoid introducing unrelated ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with separate paragraphs for causes and solutions, but the flow is disrupted by abrupt transitions and repetitive phrasing. Cohesive devices are used inconsistently (e.g., 'firstly', 'furthermore', 'hence'), and some sentences are run-on or confusing. The second paragraph begins with 'there are just several special causes,' which is misplaced.
Examples
The shift from causes to solutions is not smooth; the phrase 'there are just several special causes that lead young people to get pressure' is awkward and does not introduce solutions. The use of 'hence' in 'hence, they are heading for studying many things that they have no time to refresh their mind' is grammatically incorrect and disrupts flow.
How to Improve
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and logical connectors (e.g., 'in addition', 'consequently', 'on the other hand'). Ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea. Practice linking sentences within paragraphs to create a smoother argument progression.
Lexical Resource4.5
Evaluation
The vocabulary is limited and often inappropriate or misspelled. There is heavy reliance on basic words (e.g., 'pressure', 'children', 'studying'), and errors such as 'attractive issues', 'disering', 'inconfident', 'Aritificial Intellegience', and 'vunerable' detract from clarity. Some attempts at variation (e.g., 'sorrows and presure') are unsuccessful.
Examples
Incorrect word choice: 'attractive issues' should be 'pressing issues'; 'your children' (inconsistent pronoun); 'throwing some bad words' (informal). Spelling: 'presure', 'chilren', 'fistly', 'wishings', 'fro', 'reasonally'.
How to Improve
Build a wider range of academic vocabulary related to mental health and education (e.g., 'well-being', 'curriculum', 'expectations', 'counselling'). Practice spelling common words correctly. Use collocations like 'exert pressure', 'cope with stress', 'alleviate anxiety'.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy4.5
Evaluation
The essay demonstrates a limited grammatical range with frequent errors in subject-verb agreement, tense, word order, and sentence structure. Many sentences are incomplete or run-on. Errors significantly impede understanding. For example, 'parents ussually put their hope in your children' shifts pronouns, and 'they makes a schedules' shows agreement failure.
Examples
Incorrect: 'This can result students to be stuck' (should be 'result in students being stuck'). 'There are a lots of things such as Aritificial Intellegience' (should be 'a lot'). 'teenagers are those who are easilly vunerable' (spelling and adverb form). 'guiding them must both reasonally and heartedly' (incorrect word forms).
How to Improve
Review basic grammar rules: subject-verb agreement, plural/singular nouns, and correct preposition use. Practice constructing complex sentences with subordinate clauses (e.g., 'because', 'although'). Proofread for common errors. Study sentence structures for academic writing (e.g., 'It is important that parents...').
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
RELATED ESSAYS
01
In many schools, students are increasingly distracted by digital devices during lessons, which affects their concentration and classroom engagement.What problems does this cause, and what solutions can be implemented to address them? Write at least 250 words.
In modern era, there is an increasing debate about digital devices in schools causes destructing by students which leads to off-focus and intrest in accademics....
02
Academic pressure is causing mental health issues among teenagers, including anxiety, depression, and burnout.This growing problem is affecting students’ well-being and long-term development.What are the causes of this issue, and what solutions can be suggested?Write at least 250 words.
"Knowledge is power", is a well-known quote amongst many people. The world has advanced technologically and academically to exceedingly high levels. With such d...
03
Drug abuse has become a growing concern in many societies. What are the factors that contribute to the increasing problem of drug abuse in our society, and how can we address them? Write at least 250 words.
In recent years, many countries have been facing a variety of social and economic challenges. Among these, the issue mentioned in the statement has become a ma...
04
Drug abuse has become a growing concern in many societies. What are the factors that contribute to the increasing problem of drug abuse in our society, and how can we address them? Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, people with illnesses are increasing rapidly due to the contamination in the environment and unhealthy diets. Becoming a reason to use medicine to mai...
05
Academic pressure is causing mental health issues among teenagers, including anxiety, depression, and burnout.This growing problem is affecting students’ well-being and long-term development.What are the causes of this issue, and what solutions can be suggested?Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, academic pressure is a reason for health related issues among young people, which includes anxiety, depression and burnout. Which has become a rising ...