Band 5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Academic Pressure Essay: Coherence and Clarity Issues
Sample Answer with Feedback

📅 Published Apr 2026⏱️ 40 minutes recommended📝 233 words · Band 5
This Band 5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay addresses the issue of academic pressure among teenagers, highlighting key causes and solutions. However, it struggles with coherence and clarity, limiting the depth of the arguments presented. By addressing these feedback points, students can enhance their writing skills and achieve better scores.

IELTS Writing Task 2 Question

Problem/ Solution · Education · 40 min



Academic pressure is causing mental health issues among teenagers, including anxiety, depression, and burnout.This growing problem is affecting students’ well-being and long-term development.
What are the causes of this issue, and what solutions can be suggested?

Write at least 250 words.



5Band

Overall Band Score

233 words · Problem/ Solution · AI Evaluated

5
Task Response
4.5
Grammar
4.5
Vocabulary
5
Coherence

Score Breakdown

IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)

Overall Band Score
5
Task Response
5
Grammatical Range & Accuracy
4.5
Lexical Resource (Vocabulary)
4.5
Coherence & Cohesion
5

Summary: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing causes and solutions of academic pressure among teenagers, but it is under the minimum word count of 250 (actual: 233). This limits the development of ideas and negatively impacts Task Response. The response is generally on topic but lacks depth and specific examples. Coherence is basic, lexical errors and limited range reduce clarity, and grammatical errors are frequent. Overall, the essay meets the criteria for a Band 5.0.

Now write your own — and see how your verdict holds up.

Submit your Education essay and receive AI scores across Task Response, Coherence, Lexical Resource, and Grammar — plus a Band 9 model answer for your exact question.

Student Answer
Real submission • 233 words • Annotated
233 wordsBand 5WritingPart2
● Spelling● Grammar● Vocabulary

Academic pressure is serious issue for teenagers and often leads to anxiety, depression and burnout. This essay will discuss the main causes of this problem and suggest possible solutions.

One major cause of academic pressure is the highest expectation from teenagers parents and teachers. Many parents thought that students should take the highest grades from every subject. And another reason for that can be competiton. Because many teenagers compare themselves with their classmates and other class's students. When they compare, they feel stress and depression. In addition, they have further homework and exam, it may damage students mental and physical physology and also they can not relax and have a rest enough. During studying time, it will demand much power and energy.

Several solution can help to reduce this problem. First, schools should limit the amount of homework and create less exams. This can allow students to have enough relax and entertainment. Secondly, their parents should understand that grades will not lead to successfull achievements. Only they should suppport them it will be enough to teenager to take good achievements from every field. Then, schools should provide physologists to give advise for stressed students.

In conclusion, academic pressure comes from competition, expectations and a lot of homework and exams. If we want to decrease academic presseure, we shouold support teenagers all time. As a result academic depression will not occur among the students.

AI Feedback Report Details

Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis

Spelling Mistakes

7 errors
Misspelled WordCorrected Word
competitoncompetition
physologyphysiology
presseurepressure
shouoldshould
successfullsuccessful
physologistspsychologists
adviseadvice

Grammatical Mistakes

10 errors
MistakeCorrectionExplanation
Academic pressure is serious issueAcademic pressure is a serious issueMissing article 'a' before 'serious issue'
the highest expectation from teenagers parents and teachershigh expectations from teenagers' parents and teachersUse plural 'expectations' and possessive 'teenagers''; remove definite article 'the' as it is not a unique entity
Because many teenagers compare themselves with their classmates and other class's students.This is because many teenagers compare themselves with their classmates and students from other classes.Sentence fragment starting with 'Because'; corrected to a complete sentence and fixed possessive 'other class's' to 'other classes'
they have further homework and exam, it may damage students mental and physical physology and also they can not relax and have a rest enoughthey have further homework and exams, which may damage students' mental and physical physiology and also prevent them from relaxing and having enough restRun-on sentence; fixed plural 'exams', added possessive 'students'', corrected 'have a rest enough' to 'having enough rest'
Several solution can helpSeveral solutions can helpSubject-verb agreement: 'solutions' should be plural
create less examscreate fewer examsUse 'fewer' for countable nouns (exams) instead of 'less'
to have enough relax and entertainmentto have enough relaxation and entertainment'Relax' is a verb; the noun form 'relaxation' is needed here
Only they should suppport them it will be enough to teenager to take good achievementsThey should only support them, and that will be enough for teenagers to achieve good resultsMissing conjunction, incorrect pronoun 'it', singular 'teenager', and informal 'take good achievements'; restructured for clarity
to give advise for stressed studentsto give advice to stressed students'Advise' is a verb; 'advice' is the noun needed here. Use 'to' instead of 'for'
we shouold support teenagers all timewe should support teenagers all the timeMissing article 'the' before 'time'

Vocabulary Improvements

7 suggestions
Original Word/PhraseImproved Word/PhraseExplanation
highest expectationhigh expectationsSuperlative 'highest' is too extreme; 'high' or 'unrealistic' is more appropriate in academic context
take the highest gradesachieve top grades'Take' is informal; 'achieve' or 'get' is more precise for academic performance
have a rest enoughhave enough restWord order and collocation; 'enough rest' is the standard phrase
demand much power and energyrequire significant effort'Power and energy' is vague; 'effort' is more precise for studying. 'Much' is informal; 'significant' is academic
successfull achievementsacademic successRedundant phrase; 'successful achievements' is tautological. 'Academic success' is clearer and more concise
take good achievementsachieve good resultsInformal and vague; 'achieve results' is standard in academic writing
academic depressionacademic stress or depression due to academic pressure'Academic depression' is not a standard term; clarify the cause or use 'stress'

Ready to practise? Get instant AI feedback on your verdict.

Submit your Education essay and receive AI scores across all four IELTS criteria — with specific feedback on whether your solutions are specific, realistic, and matched to your problems.

Detailed Criteria Feedback

AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion

Task Response5
Evaluation
The essay attempts to cover both causes and solutions as required, but it is 17 words short of the 250-word minimum, which restricts the depth of argument. Causes are mentioned (high expectations, competition, excessive homework) and solutions (limit homework, parental support, school psychologists), but they are underdeveloped and lack specific examples or elaboration. The response is generally relevant but not fully extended.
Examples
The cause 'highest expectation from teenagers parents and teachers' is stated but not explained. The solution 'schools should provide physologists' is vague and misspelled.
How to Improve
Ensure the essay meets the word count (250 words minimum) by adding more detailed explanations and examples. For each cause, provide a concrete scenario or evidence. For solutions, elaborate on how they would be implemented and their potential impact.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is weak due to limited use of linking words and abrupt transitions between ideas. Paragraphs are not clearly divided (the second paragraph mixes causes and solutions). Ideas are often listed without logical flow.
Examples
The phrase 'And another reason for that can be competiton' is poorly linked. The second paragraph jumps from causes to solutions without a clear transition. The conclusion is short and repetitive.
How to Improve
Use a range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'firstly', 'in addition', 'as a result', 'on the other hand') to connect sentences and paragraphs. Organize ideas more clearly: dedicate one paragraph to causes and another to solutions, with topic sentences for each. Ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea.
Lexical Resource4.5
Evaluation
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with several spelling errors and inappropriate word choices. The range of words is limited, and attempts at more advanced terms (e.g., 'physology' for 'physiology') are often incorrect. This reduces clarity and precision.
Examples
Errors include 'highest expectation' (should be 'high expectations'), 'competiton' (competition), 'successfull achievements' (successful achievements), 'physologists' (psychologists), 'presseure' (pressure). The word 'teenagers' is misspelled as 'teanagers' in one instance.
How to Improve
Study topic-specific vocabulary related to education and mental health (e.g., 'curriculum overload', 'peer pressure', 'counselling services'). Proofread for spelling errors. Use a thesaurus to vary word choices (e.g., instead of 'support', try 'encourage', 'motivate', 'assist').
Grammatical Range & Accuracy4.5
Evaluation
The essay relies on simple sentence structures and contains frequent grammatical errors. Tenses are inconsistent, articles are often missing or misused, and subject-verb agreement errors occur. This makes the essay difficult to follow at times.
Examples
Examples: 'Many parents thought that students should take the highest grades' (tense shift – 'think' would be better). 'it may damage students mental and physical physology' (missing apostrophe and incorrect word). 'Only they should suppport them it will be enough' (run-on sentence, missing punctuation). 'shouold' and 'teanagers' are spelling errors that also affect grammar.
How to Improve
Practice writing complex sentences using subordinators (e.g., 'although', 'because', 'which'). Review basic grammar rules: verb tenses, article usage, and subject-verb agreement. After writing, check for common errors and correct them. Use shorter, clear sentences if unsure about complex structures.
💡
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.

RELATED ESSAYS

01
Education📝 291 words⏱️ Jul 2026Band 9 Model ✓
Academic pressure is causing mental health issues among teenagers, including anxiety, depression, and burnout.This growing problem is affecting students’ well-being and long-term development.What are the causes of this issue, and what solutions can be suggested?Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, academic pressure is a reason for health related issues among young people, which includes anxiety, depression and burnout. Which has become a rising ...
02
Student Behaviour📝 279 words⏱️ Jul 2026Band 9 Model ✓
Student behaviour is a serious issue in many schools around the world. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?  Write at least 250 words.
There is an old line in the Philippines where a person can be judge with their character at home based on the behavior they display publicly. It is fundamental ...
03
Drugs📝 250 words⏱️ Jul 2026Band 9 Model ✓
Drug abuse has become a growing concern in many societies. What are the factors that contribute to the increasing problem of drug abuse in our society, and how can we address them? Write at least 250 words.
In this century, the topic of incresing of drug abuses has become a subject of great importance and frequently discussed by the people all over the world. Some ...
04
Education📝 297 words⏱️ Jun 2026Band 9 Model ✓
Academic pressure is causing mental health issues among teenagers, including anxiety, depression, and burnout.This growing problem is affecting students’ well-being and long-term development.What are the causes of this issue, and what solutions can be suggested?Write at least 250 words.
In recent years, academic pressure has emerged as a major contributor to mental health problems among teenagers. With increasing competition and expectations in...
05
Drugs📝 300 words⏱️ Jun 2026Band 9 Model ✓
Drug abuse has become a growing concern in many societies. What are the factors that contribute to the increasing problem of drug abuse in our society, and how can we address them? Write at least 250 words.
In recent years, many countries have been facing a variety of social and economic challenges. Among these, the issue mentioned in the statement has become a ma...