Band 5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Academic Pressure Essay: Improving Depth & Clarity
Sample Answer with Feedback

📅 Published Apr 2026 ⏱️ 40 minutes recommended 📝 255 words · Band 5
✏️ Start Writing for Free
This Band 5 essay explores the issue of academic pressure and its effects on teenagers' mental health, including anxiety and burnout. While it identifies key causes and potential solutions, it requires deeper development of ideas and improved clarity. Learn how to enhance your responses with specific examples and better organization.

IELTS Writing Task 2 Question

Problem/ Solution · Education · 40 min



Academic pressure is causing mental health issues among teenagers, including anxiety, depression, and burnout.This growing problem is affecting students’ well-being and long-term development.
What are the causes of this issue, and what solutions can be suggested?

Write at least 250 words.



5 Band

Overall Band Score

255 words · Problem/ Solution · AI Evaluated

5
Task Response
5
Coherence
5
Lexical Resource
4.5
Grammar

Score Breakdown

IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)

Task Response
5
Coherence and Cohesion
5
Lexical Resource
5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
4.5

Summary: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing causes and solutions for academic pressure affecting teenagers' mental health, meeting the minimum word count of 255 words. However, the response lacks depth in development, with ideas presented simplistically and repetitively. Cohesion is basic, vocabulary is limited and sometimes inaccurate, and grammatical errors are frequent, affecting clarity.

Now write your own — and see how your verdict holds up.

Submit your Education essay and receive AI scores across Task Response, Coherence, Lexical Resource, and Grammar — plus a Band 9 model answer for your exact question.

Student Answer
Real submission • 255 words • Annotated
255 words Band 5 WritingPart2
● Spelling ● Grammar ● Vocabulary

Academic pressure has many serious effects upon students mental health and well- being. This can cause many mental problems, such as anxiety, depression, and burnout.
There are numerous causes of academic pressure. But it also has some solutions.
There are some causes of academic pressure. Among them, high expectations from students lead it. Parents have many expectations from their children. They want their children to perform well in exams and in school. this can lead to pressure and which letter can cause anxiety and depression. secondly, teachers gives heavy workload to students. When students can not perform well teacher gives them punishment. Heavy workload makes students burn out. Lastly, the most important thing is the fear of failure. when student has a fear, that he or she might not pass the exam, this can lead to anxiety and depression.
Besides all this, there are some solutions that can be taken to lessen mental issues and pressure. First of all, parents and teachers should support their child. This helps students to cope with this pressure. Time management and proper planning is another solution. Every student should manage their time during exams. This can help students to cope with depression and anxiety. Teachers should console students and give proper breaks and time for relaxation.
To wrap up this, if we follow these solutions, then it will be easy to improve our mental health. In conclusion, academic pressure can affect the mental health of every student, which can lead to anxiety and depression, so we should support students.

AI Feedback Report Details

Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis

Spelling Mistakes

2 errors
Misspelled Word Corrected Word
well- being well-being
letter later

Grammatical Mistakes

7 errors
Mistake Correction Explanation
students mental health students' mental health Possessive form needed for plural nouns
this can lead to This can lead to Capitalization error at the start of a sentence
teachers gives teachers give Subject-verb agreement: 'teachers' is plural and requires 'give'
When students can not perform well teacher gives them punishment. When students cannot perform well, teachers give them punishment. Missing comma and subject-verb agreement
when student has a fear, that he or she might not pass the exam When a student has a fear that he or she might not pass the exam Article misuse ('a student' needed) and unnecessary comma
their child their children Pronoun-antecedent agreement: 'students' is plural, so 'children' should be plural
Time management and proper planning is Time management and proper planning are Subject-verb agreement: compound subject requires plural verb 'are'

Vocabulary Improvements

11 suggestions
Original Word/Phrase Improved Word/Phrase Explanation
upon on 'Upon' is formal and less common; 'on' is preferred for 'effects on' in modern academic writing
mental problems mental health issues Vague; 'mental health issues' is more specific and appropriate
But However Too informal for academic writing; 'However' is more suitable
lead it are a primary cause Incorrect phrasing; 'lead it' is not standard; use 'are a primary cause' for clarity
gives heavy workload assigns a heavy workload 'Gives' is informal; 'assigns' is more academic and precise
burn out burnout Incorrect collocation; 'burnout' is the standard noun for mental exhaustion
the most important thing a significant factor Too informal for academic writing; 'a significant factor' is more objective
Besides all this Furthermore Too informal; 'Furthermore' is better for academic transitions
lessen alleviate 'Lessen' is somewhat informal; 'alleviate' is more precise and academic
First of all Firstly Too informal for academic writing; 'Firstly' is more appropriate
To wrap up this In summary Too informal; 'In summary' is standard for conclusions in academic writing

Ready to practise? Get instant AI feedback on your verdict.

Submit your Education essay and receive AI scores across all four IELTS criteria — with specific feedback on whether your solutions are specific, realistic, and matched to your problems.

Detailed Criteria Feedback

AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion

Task Response 5
Evaluation
The essay partially fulfills the task by identifying causes (e.g., parental expectations, heavy workload, fear of failure) and solutions (e.g., support, time management, breaks). However, ideas are not fully extended or supported with detailed examples or explanation, leading to a superficial treatment of the topic.
Examples
Causes are listed without elaboration: 'Parents have many expectations from their children' is stated but not explored in depth. Solutions like 'Time management and proper planning' are mentioned but not linked specifically to reducing mental health issues.
How to Improve
Develop each cause and solution with specific examples and consequences. For instance, explain how parental expectations translate into pressure, or provide strategies for effective time management. Ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed thoroughly with relevant details.
Coherence and Cohesion 5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, but paragraphing is inconsistent and linking devices are weak. The flow of ideas is sometimes choppy, and transitions are simplistic.
Examples
The introduction is fragmented: 'Academic pressure has many serious effects...' is separate from the next sentence. Transitions like 'Besides all this' and 'To wrap up this' are used but do not smoothly connect ideas. Paragraph breaks are not always logical.
How to Improve
Organize paragraphs around single main ideas (e.g., one paragraph for causes, one for solutions). Use a range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' 'As a result') to improve flow. Ensure topic sentences clearly introduce each paragraph's focus.
Lexical Resource 5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with errors in word choice and limited range. Key terms like 'pressure,' 'anxiety,' and 'depression' are overused, and some words are misused, reducing precision.
Examples
Incorrect word choice: 'which letter can cause anxiety' (likely meant 'later'). 'Console' is used where 'counsel' or 'support' might be more appropriate. Repetition: 'academic pressure' and 'mental health' are frequently repeated without variation.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by learning synonyms and more precise terms (e.g., 'excessive demands' instead of 'heavy workload,' 'psychological distress' instead of 'mental problems'). Use a thesaurus cautiously and practice incorporating new words in context to improve accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy 4.5
Evaluation
There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement, article omission, and punctuation mistakes. Sentence structures are predominantly simple, with limited complexity, affecting clarity and range.
Examples
Subject-verb agreement: 'teachers gives' should be 'teachers give.' Article omission: 'when student has' should be 'when a student has.' Punctuation: 'this can lead to pressure' should start with 'This' after a full stop. Awkward phrasing: 'which letter can cause anxiety.'
How to Improve
Review grammar rules, especially for articles, verb tenses, and subject-verb agreement. Practice writing compound and complex sentences (e.g., using relative clauses or conditional structures). Proofread carefully to correct errors and improve sentence fluency.
💡
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.

RELATED ESSAYS

02
Education 📝 398 words ⏱️ Jul 2026 Band 9 Model ✓
Academic pressure is causing mental health issues among teenagers, including anxiety, depression, and burnout.This growing problem is affecting students’ well-being and long-term development.What are the causes of this issue, and what solutions can be suggested?Write at least 250 words.
"Knowledge is power", is a well-known quote amongst many people. The world has advanced technologically and academically to exceedingly high levels. With such d...
03
Education 📝 297 words ⏱️ Jun 2026 Band 9 Model ✓
Academic pressure is causing mental health issues among teenagers, including anxiety, depression, and burnout.This growing problem is affecting students’ well-being and long-term development.What are the causes of this issue, and what solutions can be suggested?Write at least 250 words.
In recent years, academic pressure has emerged as a major contributor to mental health problems among teenagers. With increasing competition and expectations in...
04
Drugs 📝 300 words ⏱️ Jun 2026 Band 9 Model ✓
Drug abuse has become a growing concern in many societies. What are the factors that contribute to the increasing problem of drug abuse in our society, and how can we address them? Write at least 250 words.
In recent years, many countries have been facing a variety of social and economic challenges. Among these, the issue mentioned in the statement has become a ma...
05
Student Behaviour 📝 311 words ⏱️ Jun 2026 Band 9 Model ✓
Student behaviour is a serious issue in many schools around the world. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?  Write at least 250 words.
Problem and Solution Essay Template (with Signposting Language – 250+ Words) In recent years, many countries have been facing a variety of social and economic c...
06
Drugs 📝 223 words ⏱️ Jun 2026 Band 9 Model ✓
Drug abuse has become a growing concern in many societies. What are the factors that contribute to the increasing problem of drug abuse in our society, and how can we address them? Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, people with illnesses are increasing rapidly due to the contamination in the environment and unhealthy diets. Becoming a reason to use medicine to mai...