Band 5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay on Aging Challenges and Community Solutions - Task Depth Feedback
Sample Answer with Feedback

πŸ“… Published Feb 2026 ⏱️ 40 minutes recommended πŸ“ 280 words Β· Band 5
✏️ Start Writing for Free
This Band 5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay addresses challenges associated with aging populations in communities but lacks depth. The feedback highlights the need for broader exploration of issues like healthcare and financial security while suggesting clearer solutions.

IELTS Writing Task 2 Question

Problem/ Solution Β· Old People Β· 40 min

As people live longer in rich countries, they encounter a range of challenges that require long-term solutions. What challenges will they and their communities face? What are some possible solutions to mitigate the effects of growing old?

Write at least 250 words.




5 Band

Overall Band Score

280 words · Problem/ Solution Β· AI Evaluated

4.5
Task Response
5
Coherence
5
Lexical Resource
4.5
Grammar

Score Breakdown

IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)

Task Response
4.5
Coherence and Cohesion
5
Lexical Resource
5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
4.5

Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count of 280 words. However, it only partially addresses the prompt by focusing narrowly on retirement succession and community crime, missing broader challenges associated with aging populations in rich countries such as healthcare, pension systems, and social isolation. The solutions proposed are limited and not fully developed. Linguistic issues in cohesion, vocabulary, and grammar further reduce the overall effectiveness.

Now write your own β€” and see how your verdict holds up.

Submit your Old People essay and receive AI scores across Task Response, Coherence, Lexical Resource, and Grammar β€” plus a Band 9 model answer for your exact question.

Student Answer
Real submission β€’ 280 words β€’ Annotated
280 words Band 5 WritingPart2
● Spelling ● Grammar ● Vocabulary

Many countries in our society today has faced issues concerning the retirement of people growing old. Old people are usually seen as people who provide knowledge and give advice to young growing people. There is a huge number of companies owned and maintained by old people, when such people plan for retirement there is always a huge blow in the face for the company, because old CEOs usually make the mistake of not picking out the right person to take after them.
Furthermore, when people who play a huge role in seeing the development and well-being of a community starts growing old, it may lead to the downfall of such community. For instance, a police officer once lived next door by my house. He lived there for more than 20 years, since I was born I have never witnessed any criminal activity such as drug dealing, gang fighting and killing. When this man started growing old and signed his retirement form in the LAPD, in the blink of an eye the rate of criminal activities in that community skyrocketed to it's peak surpassing every other community. It was a big blow to our society.
Moreover, all this problems could be solved in many ways. One of the solutions are, company owners should conduct seminar programs to educate young people on how to be a boss and also inform them on many challenges they could face and how to solve them. Old people should always educate their children on consequences that could be faced in partaking in any crime.
Utimately, these are the possible solutions that could help societies solve any kind of problem to the mitigating of people growing old.

AI Feedback Report Details

Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis

Spelling Mistakes

2 errors
Misspelled Word Corrected Word
Utimately Ultimately
it's its

Grammatical Mistakes

7 errors
Mistake Correction Explanation
has faced have faced Subject-verb agreement: 'countries' is plural, so use 'have'
starts growing old start growing old Subject-verb agreement: 'people' is plural, so use 'start'
such community such a community Article misuse: 'community' is singular and requires an article
next door by my house next door to my house Preposition error: 'next door to' is the standard collocation
all this problems all these problems Demonstrative adjective agreement: 'problems' is plural, so use 'these'
One of the solutions are One of the solutions is Subject-verb agreement: 'one' is singular, so use 'is'
to the mitigating of to mitigate Incorrect gerund use: 'mitigate' is the verb form needed here

Vocabulary Improvements

7 suggestions
Original Word/Phrase Improved Word/Phrase Explanation
huge blow in the face a major setback Too informal; 'a major setback' is more academic
take after them succeed them Wrong collocation; 'take after' means resemble, while 'succeed' means replace in position
seeing the development overseeing the development Vague; 'overseeing' is more precise for managing or supervising
in the blink of an eye suddenly Informal idiom; 'suddenly' is more appropriate for formal writing
big blow significant impact Too informal; 'significant impact' is more academic
how to be a boss how to be a leader Informal; 'leader' is more professional and appropriate
seminar programs seminars Redundant; 'seminars' alone is sufficient and clearer

Ready to practise? Get instant AI feedback on your verdict.

Submit your Old People essay and receive AI scores across all four IELTS criteria β€” with specific feedback on whether your solutions are specific, realistic, and matched to your problems.

Detailed Criteria Feedback

AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion

Task Response 4.5
Evaluation
The response partially answers the prompt but lacks depth and breadth. It identifies challenges like retirement planning and community safety but does not explore common aging-related issues in rich countries (e.g., rising healthcare costs, elderly care, financial security). Solutions are simplistic and not well-linked to the challenges.
Examples
Examples include the discussion of old CEOs failing to choose successors and the anecdote about a retired police officer leading to increased crime. These are specific cases but do not represent systemic challenges.
How to Improve
Address all parts of the prompt directly. Discuss a wider range of challenges (e.g., economic burden on welfare systems, social isolation, age discrimination) and propose more comprehensive solutions (e.g., policy reforms, technology integration, community support programs). Ensure ideas are fully developed with explanations and examples.
Coherence and Cohesion 5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with paragraphs, but ideas are not logically connected. Cohesive devices are used (e.g., 'furthermore', 'moreover'), but transitions are abrupt, and paragraph unity is weak.
Examples
The shift from company retirement issues to community crime in the second paragraph is sudden. The conclusion is brief and does not effectively summarize the arguments.
How to Improve
Improve paragraphing by having clear topic sentences for each paragraph. Use a wider range of linking words to show relationships between ideas. Plan the essay structure to ensure a logical flow from challenges to solutions.
Lexical Resource 5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is adequate but repetitive and sometimes inaccurate. Some words are used informally, and there are spelling and word choice errors.
Examples
Repetition of 'huge blow'; incorrect use of 'it's' instead of 'its' in 'skyrocketed to it's peak'; phrases like 'big blow' are colloquial.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary related to aging societies (e.g., 'longevity', 'pension schemes', 'geriatric care'). Use a thesaurus to avoid repetition. Proofread to correct errors and ensure formal academic tone.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy 4.5
Evaluation
Grammatical errors are frequent, and sentence structures are mostly simple. Issues include subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and punctuation.
Examples
Incorrect subject-verb agreement: 'Many countries... has faced'; possessive error: 'it's peak' should be 'its peak'; run-on sentences and lack of commas.
How to Improve
Practice using complex sentences with clauses. Review grammar rules for agreement, tense, and punctuation. Read aloud to identify errors and consider using grammar-check tools during practice.
πŸ’‘
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.

RELATED ESSAYS

02
Education πŸ“ 398 words ⏱️ Jul 2026 Band 9 Model βœ“
Academic pressure is causing mental health issues among teenagers, including anxiety, depression, and burnout.This growing problem is affecting students’ well-being and long-term development.What are the causes of this issue, and what solutions can be suggested?Write at least 250 words.
"Knowledge is power", is a well-known quote amongst many people. The world has advanced technologically and academically to exceedingly high levels. With such d...
03
Education πŸ“ 297 words ⏱️ Jun 2026 Band 9 Model βœ“
Academic pressure is causing mental health issues among teenagers, including anxiety, depression, and burnout.This growing problem is affecting students’ well-being and long-term development.What are the causes of this issue, and what solutions can be suggested?Write at least 250 words.
In recent years, academic pressure has emerged as a major contributor to mental health problems among teenagers. With increasing competition and expectations in...
04
Drugs πŸ“ 300 words ⏱️ Jun 2026 Band 9 Model βœ“
Drug abuse has become a growing concern in many societies. What are the factors that contribute to the increasing problem of drug abuse in our society, and how can we address them? Write at least 250 words.
In recent years, many countries have been facing a variety of social and economic challenges. Among these, the issue mentioned in the statement has become a ma...
05
Student Behaviour πŸ“ 311 words ⏱️ Jun 2026 Band 9 Model βœ“
Student behaviour is a serious issue in many schools around the world. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?  Write at least 250 words.
Problem and Solution Essay Template (with Signposting Language – 250+ Words) In recent years, many countries have been facing a variety of social and economic c...
06
Drugs πŸ“ 223 words ⏱️ Jun 2026 Band 9 Model βœ“
Drug abuse has become a growing concern in many societies. What are the factors that contribute to the increasing problem of drug abuse in our society, and how can we address them? Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, people with illnesses are increasing rapidly due to the contamination in the environment and unhealthy diets. Becoming a reason to use medicine to mai...