This Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses the causes and solutions of student behaviour issues. While the essay addresses key factors like technology and parental supervision, it suffers from limited idea development, which impacts overall depth. Discover insights and areas for improvement.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Problem/ Solution · Student Behaviour · 40 min
Student behaviour is a serious issue in many schools around the world. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count of 250 words (actual: 252) and addresses the topic appropriately, discussing causes and solutions for student behavior. It has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and vocabulary and grammar are adequate but not advanced, impacting depth and sophistication.
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Student behaviour has become a serious concern in many schools across the world. Poor discipline, lack of respect toward teachers, and disruptive actions in classrooms can negatively affect the learning environment. This essay will discuss the main causes of this issue and suggest possible solutions.
One major reason for problematic student behaviour is the influence of modern technology and social media. Many students spend a large amount of time on their phones, which reduces their attention span and makes it difficult for them to focus in class. In addition, some children are exposed to negative behaviour online, which they may imitate in school. Another important factor is the lack of parental supervision. In many families, parents are busy with work and may not have enough time to guide their children properly. As a result, students may develop irresponsible attitudes toward education and authority.
However, several measures can be taken to address this problem. Firstly, schools should introduce stronger rules and clear consequences for inappropriate behaviour. When students understand that misbehaviour will lead to punishment, they are more likely to behave responsibly. Secondly, parents should play a more active role in their children's education by monitoring their activities and teaching them respect and discipline. Finally, schools can organise counselling sessions and extracurricular activities to help students develop better social and emotional skills.
In conclusion, student misbehaviour is mainly caused by excessive technology use and insufficient parental guidance. By enforcing stricter school policies and encouraging greater parental involvement, this issue can be significantly reduced.
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Task Response6.5
Evaluation
The essay responds to both parts of the task by identifying causes (e.g., technology/social media, lack of parental supervision) and suggesting solutions (e.g., stricter rules, parental involvement, counseling). However, the ideas are presented without full extension or detailed examples, limiting the depth of analysis.
Examples
Causes: 'influence of modern technology and social media' and 'lack of parental supervision.' Solutions: 'schools should introduce stronger rules,' 'parents should play a more active role,' and 'schools can organise counselling sessions.'
How to Improve
To improve, extend each point with specific examples or evidence. For instance, explain how social media leads to imitation of negative behavior, or describe real-world consequences of strict rules. Ensure each paragraph fully develops one main idea.
Coherence & Cohesion7
Evaluation
The essay is logically organized with a clear progression: introduction, causes, solutions, and conclusion. Cohesive devices like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'Finally' are used effectively, but transitions between paragraphs could be smoother, and some linking words are basic.
Examples
Use of sequential markers in the solutions paragraph: 'Firstly, schools should introduce stronger rules... Secondly, parents should play a more active role... Finally, schools can organise counselling sessions...'
How to Improve
Incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'In contrast,' 'Consequently') to enhance flow. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas connect seamlessly across the essay.
Lexical Resource6.5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is generally appropriate for the task but lacks variety and sophistication. Key terms like 'behaviour' are repeated, and some words are common rather than academic. However, there are no major errors in word choice or spelling.
Examples
Repetition of 'behaviour' (e.g., 'student behaviour,' 'problematic student behaviour,' 'misbehaviour'). Use of basic phrases like 'large amount of time' instead of 'considerable time' or 'excessive use.'
How to Improve
To enhance lexical resource, use synonyms (e.g., 'conduct,' 'demeanor' for 'behaviour') and more precise academic vocabulary. Avoid repetition by varying word choice and incorporating collocations (e.g., 'disciplinary measures' instead of 'stronger rules').
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6.5
Evaluation
Grammar is mostly accurate with a mix of simple and compound sentences. Some complex structures are attempted, but errors are present (e.g., minor issues with article usage or clause formation). Sentence structures are generally clear but not highly varied.
Examples
Correct use of relative clause: 'which reduces their attention span.' Minor error: 'organise counselling sessions' (British spelling is acceptable, but consistency with American English might be noted). Sentence variety is limited, e.g., 'Many students spend... which reduces...'
How to Improve
Increase grammatical range by using more complex sentences (e.g., conditional clauses, passive voice) and ensure accuracy by proofreading for errors in articles, prepositions, and subject-verb agreement. Practice integrating subordinate clauses to add depth.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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