This band 6 IELTS writing task 2 essay on environmental impact highlights key challenges in clarity and idea development. The response addresses the question but lacks depth in elaborating on examples and contains grammatical errors that obscure meaning.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Problem/ Solution · Natural World · 40 min
Human activity has a devastating impact on the natural environment, but addressing this crisis requires both governmental action and individual responsibility. What are some of the human activities that harm the natural world? How can these issues be solved by the authorities? What actions can each person take to help?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay addresses all parts of the question and meets the word count requirement (307 words). However, ideas are not fully developed, and grammatical errors occasionally hinder clarity. The response demonstrates a basic understanding but lacks sophistication in argument and language use.
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Human activity has disrupted the natural environment. It is an ongoing issue that has been talked about in the global stage by many organisations, yet there hasn't been any proper solution. The solution would need the participation from both the government and the individual citizens around the world. We have to take responsibility of our own actions.
The natural environment was impact by human activity in a variety of ways. Sometimes it could be something as small as turning on the lights, or even charging our phone, these actions used electricity, which was generated by using the resources we have harvested from the natural world. Taking these natural resources, and converting them into energy, requires a lot of machinery and energy, which are large scale actions where the natural environment will be the receiving end of the devastating consequences. There are a few other large scale activities that contributes to this crisis, for example, building dams or creating oil rigs. These impactful activities are usually caused by major industries or even by the government.
There fore, we need to take responsibility of our own actions. It could start from a smaller scale that can be done by individuals. We can participate in the improvement of this crisis by just turning off the lights when they are not in-use or set the air condition temperature in a moderate level to save energy. At the same time, these actions by the individuals wouldn't be enough, the authorities will have to take part in easing this crisis too. The government can push for alternative energy sources, for example the solar energy, which is a clean energy that doesn't impact the natural world. Another action the government can take is to regulate any activity from major industries, making sure that the impact made by them are contributing to the ongoing crisis.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
1 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| There fore | Therefore |
Grammatical Mistakes
11 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| in the global stage | on the global stage | Preposition error: 'on' is used with 'stage' |
| take responsibility of | take responsibility for | Collocation error: 'responsibility' is followed by 'for' |
| was impact | was impacted | Verb form error: 'impact' should be in past participle form 'impacted' |
| activities that contributes | activities that contribute | Subject-verb agreement: 'activities' is plural, so verb should be 'contribute' |
| not in-use | not in use | Unnecessary hyphen; 'in use' is the correct phrase |
| set the air condition temperature | set the air conditioner temperature | Incorrect noun; 'air conditioner' is the device, or 'air conditioning' for the system |
| in a moderate level | to a moderate level | Preposition error: 'to' is used with 'set' to indicate adjustment |
| for example the solar energy | for example, solar energy | Article misuse: 'solar energy' is uncountable and does not require 'the' in this context |
| the impact made by them are contributing | the impact made by them is contributing | Subject-verb agreement: 'impact' is singular, so verb should be 'is' |
| these actions used electricity, which was generated | these actions use electricity, which is generated | Tense inconsistency: should use present tense for general statements |
| At the same time, these actions by the individuals wouldn't be enough, the authorities will have to take part | At the same time, these actions by individuals wouldn't be enough; the authorities will have to take part | Run-on sentence: use a semicolon or conjunction to separate independent clauses |
Vocabulary Improvements
9 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| talked about | discussed | Too informal; 'discussed' is more appropriate for academic writing |
| proper solution | effective solution | Vague; 'effective' is more precise in this context |
| participation from | involvement of | Better collocation; 'involvement of' is more commonly used |
| impactful | significant | Informal; 'significant' is a more academic alternative |
| improvement of this crisis | mitigation of this crisis | Incorrect collocation; crises are mitigated, not improved |
| easing this crisis | alleviating this crisis | Informal; 'alleviating' is more formal and precise |
| push for | advocate for | Informal; 'advocate for' is more appropriate in formal writing |
| clean energy | renewable energy | More precise; 'renewable energy' specifies the type of energy source |
| regulate any activity | regulate industrial activities | Vague; 'industrial activities' is more specific in this context |
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Task Response
6
Evaluation
The essay covers all three question prompts: human activities that harm the environment, government solutions, and individual actions. However, the development is superficial, with examples briefly mentioned but not elaborated.
Examples
Human activities include using electricity from natural resources and large-scale projects like dams and oil rigs. Government solutions involve promoting solar energy and regulating industries. Individual actions include turning off lights and moderating air conditioning.
How to Improve
Extend ideas by providing more specific details and explanations. For example, explain how dam construction affects ecosystems or how solar energy adoption reduces carbon emissions. Ensure each point is fully developed with supporting evidence or consequences.
Coherence and Cohesion
6
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction and two body paragraphs, but cohesion is weakened by abrupt transitions and incorrect use of linking words. Paragraphing is present but could be more logically organized.
Examples
Misspelling of 'Therefore' as 'There fore'; the shift from discussing human activities to solutions in the second paragraph is sudden. Some sentences lack clear connections.
How to Improve
Use accurate cohesive devices (e.g., 'However,' 'In addition,' 'Consequently') to link ideas smoothly. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and follows a logical sequence. Consider adding a concluding paragraph to summarize key points.
Lexical Resource
6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is sufficient for the topic but repetitive and sometimes inaccurate. Some environmental terms are used appropriately, but the range is limited.
Examples
Incorrect use of 'impact' as a verb ('was impact by'); repetition of 'actions' and 'crisis'; 'large scale' should be hyphenated as 'large-scale'. Correct terms like 'solar energy' are used.
How to Improve
Expand lexical range by using synonyms (e.g., 'detrimental effects' instead of 'devastating consequences') and more precise environmental vocabulary (e.g., 'deforestation,' 'pollution,' 'renewable resources'). Avoid repetition and ensure word forms are correct.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
5.5
Evaluation
There are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally obscure meaning. Sentence structures are predominantly simple, with limited complex sentences.
Examples
'was impact by' should be 'was impacted by' or 'has been impacted'; 'activities that contributes' should be 'contribute'; 'set the air condition temperature' should be 'air conditioning temperature'. Tense inconsistencies and subject-verb agreement issues are present.
How to Improve
Practice using correct verb tenses and subject-verb agreement. Incorporate a variety of sentence structures, such as complex sentences with relative clauses. Proofread to identify and correct grammatical mistakes, focusing on verb forms and article usage.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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