Achieving a Band 6 in your IELTS Writing Task 2 is commendable, especially for the student behaviour essay discussing various causes and solutions. However, this essay fell short of the required word count, providing only 220 words instead of the minimum 250. To improve, additional examples and details could enhance the overall argument.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Problem/ Solution · Student Behaviour · 40 min
Student behaviour is a serious issue in many schools around the world. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay addresses the topic of student behavior issues, identifying causes and suggesting solutions. However, the essay does not meet the required word count of 250 words, providing only 220 words, which affects the Task Response score. While the cohesion and use of language are adequate, further development and detail are needed to enhance the response.
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Student behaviour is a growing concern in many schools worldwide. This essay will examine the key causes of this issue and suggest possible solutions to address it.
Student behaviour is largely shaped during early childhood and is influenced by both genetic and environmental factors. In some cases, children may inherit behavioural tendencies from their parents, especially if they have been exposed to similar patterns of misconduct at home. However, environmental influences are often more significant. Children who grow up in abusive or neglectful households may develop emotional instability, which can later manifest as disruptive behaviour in school. Similarly, repeated exposure to bullying or social exclusion can negatively affect their mental development and lead to aggression or withdrawal.
Several measures can be taken to address this issue effectively. Schools can introduce counselling services where students’ emotional and psychological needs are regularly assessed. Early intervention can help identify behavioural issues before they escalate. In addition, parents play a crucial role in shaping behaviour. By maintaining open communication and providing emotional support, they can create a stable environment that encourages positive behaviour. Schools and parents working together can significantly reduce behavioural problems among students.
In conclusion, student behaviour is influenced by a combination of inherited and environmental factors. However, with early psychological support and stronger parental involvement, these issues can be effectively managed.
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The essay addresses the prompt and identifies some causes and solutions related to student behavior issues in schools. Nonetheless, the response does not meet the minimum word count requirement, resulting in insufficient argumentation and detail.
Examples
The essay effectively mentions genetic and environmental factors affecting behavior and proposes solutions like counseling and parental involvement.
How to Improve
Extend the essay to meet the word requirement by adding more examples or details on how these solutions can be implemented effectively. Discuss further causes and broader solutions to give a well-rounded response.
Coherence & Cohesion6.5
Evaluation
The essay is logically organized and ideas are presented in a coherent manner, with clear connections between causes and solutions.
Examples
There is a clear introduction, body with separate paragraphs for causes and solutions, and a conclusion.
How to Improve
Enhance cohesion by adding more linking words and phrases to show relationships between sentences and paragraphs more clearly.
Lexical Resource6.5
Evaluation
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with appropriate use of terms related to behavior and solutions.
Examples
Words such as 'environmental factors', 'emotional instability', and 'intervention' are used accurately.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of vocabulary and incorporate synonyms to add variety. Avoid repetition and ensure that word choice matches the formality of the essay.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy6.5
Evaluation
The grammatical structures used are generally accurate with a variety of complex sentences.
Examples
The use of clauses such as 'Children who grow up in abusive or neglectful households...' shows good grammatical control.
How to Improve
Incorporate a wider range of sentence structures, including relative clauses and conditional sentences, to demonstrate advanced grammatical range.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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