This Band 7 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses the pressing issue of academic pressure on teenagers, exploring its causes and potential solutions. While the response is well-structured and addresses the prompt effectively, there are minor spelling errors and minor formatting issues that could be improved for clarity and coherence.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Problem/ Solution · Education · 40 min
Academic pressure is causing mental health issues among teenagers, including anxiety, depression, and burnout.This growing problem is affecting students’ well-being and long-term development.
What are the causes of this issue, and what solutions can be suggested?Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (269 words) and fully addresses the prompt by discussing both causes (heightened competition, parental/societal expectations) and solutions (promoting holistic well-being, redefining success, balancing workloads). The argument is clear and well-developed, though some points could be elaborated further. Minor errors in spelling (e.g., 'sustainabable', 'workoad') and slightly informal formatting (colon-separated lists) prevent a higher score.
Now write your own — and see how your verdict holds up.
Submit your Education essay and receive AI scores across Task Response, Coherence, Lexical Resource, and Grammar — plus a Band 9 model answer for your exact question.
The escalation of academic pressure among teenagers has become a critical public health concern. As students face increasingly competitive educational environments, many are experiencing debilitating levels of anxiety, depression, and burnout. Understanding the multifaceted drivers of this issue is essential to developing effective strategies for supporting adolescent well-being.
The roots of academic-related mental health struggles are often intertwined, originating from both internal and external sources:
Heightened Competition: The perception that entry into top-tier universities is increasingly difficult fosters a high-stakes culture where students feel every grade and extracurricular activity must be perfect. This creates a "fear of failure" mentality.
Parental and Societal Expectations: Many teenagers feel immense pressure to succeed to honor their family’s sacrifices or to meet narrow societal definitions of what constitutes a "successful" future.
Addressing this issue requires a collaborative effort between schools, families, and society:
Promoting Holistic Well-being: Schools should shift their focus from purely academic metrics to include emotional intelligence, resilience, and stress management as part of the core curriculum. Implementing "mental health days" and accessible counseling services can provide necessary relief.
Redefining Success: Parents and educators must work to broaden the definition of success. Emphasizing personal growth, curiosity, and the acquisition of skills—rather than just letter grades or rankings—can alleviate the paralyzing pressure many students face.
Balancing Workloads: Educators should be encouraged to assess the cumulative impact of assignments. Coordination between departments can prevent "peak" weeks where deadlines overlap, ensuring students maintain a sustainabable workoad..
By fostering environments that value the individual over the achievement, we can support teenagers in navigating their academic journeys with resilience, curiosity, and, most importantly, good mental health.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling · Grammar · Vocabulary · Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
2 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| sustainabable | sustainable |
| workoad | workload |
Grammatical Mistakes
1 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| workoad.. | workload. | Extra period; should be a single period to end the sentence. |
Ready to practise? Get instant AI feedback on your verdict.
Submit your Education essay and receive AI scores across all four IELTS criteria — with specific feedback on whether your solutions are specific, realistic, and matched to your problems.
Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response7
Evaluation
The essay adequately addresses all parts of the question: it identifies multiple causes of mental health issues from academic pressure and proposes relevant solutions. The response is on-topic and well-focused, with a clear argument. However, the causes and solutions are presented in a relatively brief manner; deeper exploration or specific examples would strengthen the response further.
Examples
Causes: 'Heightened Competition' and 'Parental and Societal Expectations' are mentioned. Solutions: 'Promoting Holistic Well-being', 'Redefining Success', 'Balancing Workloads'.
How to Improve
Expand on each cause and solution with more specific details or real-world examples. For instance, mention particular education systems or studies to add depth. Ensure each point is fully developed rather than listed briefly.
Coherence & Cohesion7
Evaluation
The essay has a logical structure: introduction, causes, solutions, conclusion. Transition between paragraphs is smooth, and cohesive devices (e.g., 'The roots of...', 'Addressing this issue...') are used effectively. However, the use of colon-separated subheadings within the body paragraphs disrupts the natural flow slightly and may appear less formal than typical academic writing.
Examples
The introduction sets up the problem clearly. The causes are grouped under a single paragraph with subtopics; solutions follow a similar pattern. The conclusion ties back to the main idea.
How to Improve
Avoid using colon-separated lists within paragraphs. Instead, integrate the points into full, flowing prose. For example, rewrite the causes section as a continuous paragraph with proper linking words to enhance cohesion.
Lexical Resource7
Evaluation
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as 'escalation', 'debilitating', 'multifaceted drivers', 'high-stakes culture', 'holistic well-being', and 'resilience'. There is effective use of collocations (e.g., 'public health concern'). However, a few spelling errors (e.g., 'sustainabable', 'workoad') and slightly repetitive phrasing ('students' used multiple times) lower the lexical precision.
Examples
Positive: 'fosters a high-stakes culture', 'paralyzing pressure'. Errors: 'sustainabable' (should be 'sustainable'), 'workoad' (should be 'workload').
How to Improve
Proofread carefully to eliminate spelling mistakes. Vary word choice (e.g., use 'learners', 'adolescents', 'young people' instead of repeatedly saying 'students'). Consider using more sophisticated synonyms or idiomatic expressions to enhance lexical range.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy7
Evaluation
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including relative clauses (e.g., 'which many students face') and conditional ideas. Most sentences are grammatically correct. However, there are minor errors: a missing article before 'accessible counseling services' (should be 'accessible counseling services' is fine, but 'the' may be needed in context), and the typo 'workoad' affects accuracy. Also, the colon after 'internal and external sources:' is followed by a list; while not incorrect, a more formal academic style might prefer full sentences.
Examples
Correct: 'Understanding the multifaceted drivers of this issue is essential...'. Minor error: 'ensuring students maintain a sustainabable workoad' (two spelling errors).
How to Improve
Proofread for spelling and punctuation errors. Use a greater variety of grammatical structures, such as inversion (e.g., 'Not only do students face...') or more complex conditionals. Ensure consistency in punctuation style (avoid colons for lists in formal essays).
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
RELATED ESSAYS
01
Student behaviour is a serious issue in many schools around the world. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Write at least 250 words.
Problem and Solution Essay Template (with Signposting Language – 250+ Words)
In recent years, many countries have been facing a variety of social and economic c...
02
Drug abuse has become a growing concern in many societies. What are the factors that contribute to the increasing problem of drug abuse in our society, and how can we address them? Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, people with illnesses are increasing rapidly due to the contamination in the environment and unhealthy diets. Becoming a reason to use medicine to mai...
03
Academic pressure is causing mental health issues among teenagers, including anxiety, depression, and burnout.This growing problem is affecting students’ well-being and long-term development.What are the causes of this issue, and what solutions can be suggested?Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, academic pressure is a reason for health related issues among young people, which includes anxiety, depression and burnout. Which has become a rising ...
04
Drug abuse has become a growing concern in many societies. What are the factors that contribute to the increasing problem of drug abuse in our society, and how can we address them? Write at least 250 words.
In this century, the topic of incresing of drug abuses has become a subject of great importance and frequently discussed by the people all over the world. Some ...
05
Academic pressure is causing mental health issues among teenagers, including anxiety, depression, and burnout.This growing problem is affecting students’ well-being and long-term development.What are the causes of this issue, and what solutions can be suggested?Write at least 250 words.
In recent years, academic pressure has emerged as a major contributor to mental health problems among teenagers. With increasing competition and expectations in...