Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Crime Prevention Essay: Coherence and Vocabulary Feedback
Sample Answer with Feedback

In this time crime rate is increasing rapidly where number of individuals think that the best way to decrease criminal behaviour from youngsters is through showing documentary or mentoring by those who have overcome a criminal past at the same time some people think that professional educators or psychologists are perfect for this role. In this essay I will give my opinion on both side and my personal view.

Firstly, teenagers can be afraid to meet those people who are involve in crime in their past because children have seen it in a movies and they think this people are dangerous and they can harm them. Moreover, there are some criminals who have done more crime after they got out from jail as well as it could be risky to meet them. Therefore, we can find better options for example we can show children documentary and flims about there life after overcoming from a criminal history. Children can get information about what to do with there life, what is the good path?

Secondly, children who get knowledge about crime and voilence from professional educators and psychologists seem safe and more reasonable because they know much better about crime and how to avoid it. They know more about human psychology how people enter in crime? why they do voilence? as well as professionals know how to prevent it. Moreover, they have spend time with those criminal and know about there behaviour. Taking lessons from educators and psychologist is the best way to know about crimal behaviour.

In my opinion, best way to prevent younger generation from involving in crime and voilence is through professional educators because it is safer and more informative at the same time mentoring by criminals who have overcome from their criminal history seems dangerous and unsafe.

   Mentoring young people to prevent criminal behaviour is a growing area of focus in many societies. While some argue that former criminals are best positioned to guide at-risk youth through real-life experiences, others maintain that trained professionals such as educators or psychologists offer more effective and reliable interventions. In my opinion, the most effective approach combines both perspectives. 

       On one hand, individuals who have overcome a criminal past may offer authentic insights that resonate powerfully with young people. Their personal stories often serve as cautionary tales, highlighting the consequences of poor choices and the struggles of rehabilitation. Teenagers who feel misunderstood or disconnected may find these mentors relatable, inspiring a change in behaviour. For example, programs where former criminals mentor young people have helped reduce repeat offenses and build strength in those at risk.

       On the other hand, professional educators and psychologists possess specialized training in behavior management, emotional support, and cognitive development. Because of their training, professionals can design support programs using proven psychological methods rather than personal stories. They are also more likely to spot deep-rooted problems such as trauma or peer pressure, which often lead young people to commit crimes. In contrast to ex-offenders, these experts follow strict ethical rules and are supervised, making their guidance safer and more reliable.

              In conclusion, I believe that the ideal way forward is to balance the two approaches. As mentoring by ex-offenders and support from trained professionals each offer unique advantages. A collaborative model ensures that vulnerable youth receive guidance that is both credible and constructive.