This Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses varying perspectives on high incomes. The main issues include clarity of arguments and coherence, impacting overall comprehension. Discover key feedback to help enhance your essay writing skills.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views Β· High Incomes Β· 40 min
Some people in different countries earn very high incomes. While some people think that this is beneficial for the nation, others believe that the government should limit how much money people can make. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (251 words) and addresses both views with a personal opinion, but the response is underdeveloped and sometimes inconsistent. Cohesion is weak due to poor paragraphing and transitions. Vocabulary is limited with spelling errors, and grammar contains frequent mistakes that hinder clarity. Overall, it achieves a band 5.5.
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Many people across various countries are paid highly. Some people belive that this is beneficial for the nations while others argue that the government should limit how much money an individual can earn. I think the salary of a person can be decided by examining his work. If he follows all the deadlines, complete his work sinceserly, shows intrest in his work and help the company to grow globally then he should be highly paid as it contributes to the growth of the nation.
This plays a crucial role in the development of the country. For example if an employee is working hard to develop a technology that helps to predict the air quality index of the country. So from analysing the results government can take serious action on it.
In addition, government can limit the salary in the sports sector or in the entertainment industry. Many athletes in popular sports like football or cricket often earn millions through the sponsership of the company. Celebraties like singers actors or influencers earn huge amount of money through a small project or event. However this generates the huge gap bwtween the poors and richs. In addition many wrong things take place with the help of blak money.
In conclusion, government should pay more to the people who helps other to save their lives such as doctors or to those who provide knowledge to the students for example teachers. However government should not limit salaries but income should depend on the talent and innovation.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
9 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| belive | believe |
| sinceserly | sincerely |
| intrest | interest |
| sponsership | sponsorship |
| Celebraties | Celebrities |
| bwtween | between |
| poors | poor |
| richs | rich |
| blak | black |
Grammatical Mistakes
7 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| complete his work | completes his work | Subject-verb agreement: 'he' requires third-person singular verb 'completes' |
| help the company | helps the company | Subject-verb agreement: 'he' requires 'helps' |
| For example if an employee is working hard to develop a technology that helps to predict the air quality index of the country. | For example, an employee working hard to develop technology that helps predict the air quality index of the country contributes to national development. | Sentence fragment; needs a main clause to form a complete sentence |
| So from analysing the results government can take serious action on it. | Therefore, by analyzing the results, the government can take serious action based on them. | Informal conjunction 'So'; missing article 'the' before 'government'; vague pronoun 'it' |
| government can limit | the government can limit | Missing definite article 'the' before 'government' |
| helps other to save | help others to save | Subject-verb agreement: 'people' is plural, so 'help'; 'other' should be 'others' for plural noun |
| provide knowledge to the students for example teachers. | provide knowledge to students, such as teachers. | Redundant 'the' before 'students'; 'for example' should be integrated with 'such as' for clarity |
Vocabulary Improvements
5 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| wrong things | illegal activities | Too vague; 'illegal activities' is more precise and appropriate for academic context |
| blak money | illicit funds | Informal term; 'illicit funds' is a more formal and academic alternative |
| huge amount of money | substantial amounts of money | Informal; 'substantial amounts' is more formal and precise |
| take serious action | implement strict measures | Better collocation for policy or governmental actions |
| pay more | offer higher salaries | Informal; 'offer higher salaries' is more professional in discussing compensation |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response5.5
Evaluation
The essay partially addresses the task by discussing both views and giving an opinion, but the arguments are not fully developed. The first view on benefits is supported with an example (technology for air quality), but the link to national benefit is vague. The second view on limiting incomes is mentioned with examples from sports and entertainment, but the discussion on government limits is confused with personal opinion on salary determination. The conclusion introduces new ideas (doctors and teachers) without prior exploration.
Examples
Example of benefit: 'if an employee is working hard to develop a technology that helps to predict the air quality index... government can take serious action.' Example of limiting: 'government can limit the salary in the sports sector... this generates the huge gap between the poors and richs.'
How to Improve
Fully develop each view with clear explanations and relevant examples. Ensure the opinion is consistent throughout and directly related to the discussion. Avoid introducing new points in the conclusion. Focus on economic or social implications of high incomes and government limits.
Coherence & Cohesion5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, but coherence is affected by poor logical flow and unclear references. Paragraphing is attempted but ideas are not well-organized within paragraphs. Transitions are minimal, and cohesion is weakened by grammatical errors that obscure connections.
Examples
The first body paragraph starts with 'This plays a crucial role...' without a clear antecedent. The second paragraph jumps from limiting salaries to black money without smooth transition. Conclusion mentions doctors and teachers abruptly.
How to Improve
Use cohesive devices (e.g., however, in addition, therefore) to link ideas. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and logical progression. Practice referencing pronouns clearly. Plan paragraph structure before writing.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with several spelling errors and inappropriate word choices. Some topic-related terms are used, but range is narrow, and errors impede understanding.
Examples
Spelling errors: 'sinceserly' (sincerely), 'intrest' (interest), 'Celebraties' (celebrities), 'bwtween' (between), 'poors and richs' (poor and rich), 'blak money' (black money). Basic vocabulary: 'helps', 'grow', 'take serious action'.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by reading on common IELTS topics. Use a dictionary to check spelling and word forms. Practice using synonyms and more precise terms (e.g., 'income disparity' instead of 'gap between poor and rich'). Avoid informal expressions.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
Grammar is characterized by frequent errors in sentence structure, verb forms, punctuation, and articles. Sentences are mostly simple, with attempts at complexity that often result in inaccuracies. Errors sometimes hinder communication.
Examples
Incorrect verb forms: 'complete his work sinceserly' should be 'completes his work sincerely'. Missing articles: 'government should pay more to the people' could be 'the government'. Punctuation errors: 'For example if an employee...' missing comma after 'example'. Run-on sentences: 'However this generates the huge gap...' should be 'However, this generates a huge gap...'.
How to Improve
Review basic grammar rules, especially verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and articles. Practice writing complex sentences with correct conjunctions. Use punctuation appropriately to separate ideas. Proofread essays to identify and correct errors.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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