This Band 5.5 IELTS essay tackles the issue of income inequality from multiple perspectives. However, it suffers from clarity and coherence issues due to frequent language errors and underdeveloped arguments. Understanding these aspects can help you refine your writing and enhance the overall quality of your response.
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views Β· High Incomes Β· 40 min
Some people in different countries earn very high incomes. While some people think that this is beneficial for the nation, others believe that the government should limit how much money people can make. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (288 words) and addresses the task by discussing both views and presenting an opinion. However, the arguments are underdeveloped, and frequent language errors in spelling, grammar, and word choice reduce clarity and coherence.
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it is ture that there are a number of individuals in various countries earn exceptionally high salaries. While group of people argue that this trend benefits the nation, another section of society believe that authorities should impose limits on personal income. Thes essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own opinion.
On the one hand, high earners can significantly cntribute to a country`s economic growht. prople with sbstaintial incomes often invest in businesses, create job opportuanities, and pay higher taxes, which can be used to improve public services such as healthcare, education and infrastructure. Moreover, offering hte possibility of high financial rewerds can motivate individuals to work harder, innovate, and develop new ideas. For example, entrepreneurs and skilled professionals economic progress when they know their efforts may be highly rewarded.
On the other hand, some believe that excessive income inequalty can harm society. When a samll prtion of the population controls a large share of wealth, it can lead to social divison and reduced opportunities for lower-income groups. in such cases, limiting salaries or introducing higer taxer on top earners may help redistrute wealth more fairly. This can ensure better access to essential serveces for everyone and reduce the gap between the rich and the poor, leading to a more balance and stable society. In my point of view, while extremely high income can create inequality, completely limiting how much people can earn is not the best solution. Instead, goverments should focus on implementing fair taxation systems and social welfare programs.
In conclusion, although high income can lead to inequality, they also play a vital role in enconomic development. A balanced approach, rather than strict income limits, it is the most effective way to address this issue.
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
21 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| ture | true |
| Thes | This |
| cntribute | contribute |
| growht | growth |
| prople | people |
| sbstaintial | substantial |
| opportuanities | opportunities |
| hte | the |
| rewerds | rewards |
| inequalty | inequality |
| samll | small |
| prtion | portion |
| divison | division |
| higer | higher |
| taxer | taxes |
| redistrute | redistribute |
| serveces | services |
| balance | balanced |
| goverments | governments |
| enconomic | economic |
| country`s | country's |
Grammatical Mistakes
8 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| there are a number of individuals in various countries earn | there are a number of individuals in various countries who earn | Missing relative pronoun for the clause |
| While group of people argue | While a group of people argue | Article missing before 'group' |
| another section of society believe | another section of society believes | Subject-verb agreement: 'section' is singular, so verb should be 'believes' |
| in such cases | In such cases | Sentence should start with a capital letter |
| entrepreneurs and skilled professionals economic progress | entrepreneurs and skilled professionals drive economic progress | Missing verb in the clause |
| leading to a more balance and stable society | leading to a more balanced and stable society | 'Balance' should be the adjective 'balanced' to modify 'society' |
| although high income can lead to inequality, they also play | although high income can lead to inequality, it also plays | Pronoun-antecedent agreement: 'income' is singular, so use 'it' and 'plays' |
| A balanced approach, rather than strict income limits, it is the most effective way | A balanced approach, rather than strict income limits, is the most effective way | Redundant 'it'; the subject is 'A balanced approach' |
Vocabulary Improvements
3 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| In my point of view | In my opinion | More standard and academic phrase |
| how much people can earn | the amount people can earn | Informal phrasing; use more formal alternative |
| authorities | governments | 'Authorities' is vague; 'governments' is more precise for policy-making |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The essay covers both perspectives and provides a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements. However, the discussion lacks depth and specific examples to fully support the arguments.
Examples
For example, when discussing benefits, it mentions economic growth, investment, and taxes but does not elaborate with concrete instances. The opinion is stated but not thoroughly reasoned.
How to Improve
Develop each view with more detailed explanations and relevant examples. For instance, cite specific countries or studies where high incomes have driven innovation or where inequality has caused social issues. Expand on the proposed solutions like fair taxation.
Coherence & Cohesion6
Evaluation
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is affected by typos and awkward phrasing, which sometimes disrupt the flow.
Examples
Logical connectors like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' are used appropriately, but errors like 'Thes essay' and incomplete sentences (e.g., 'For example, entrepreneurs and skilled professionals economic progress...') hinder coherence.
How to Improve
Proofread to correct typos and ensure smooth transitions between ideas. Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently') and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details.
Lexical Resource5.5
Evaluation
The vocabulary range is sufficient for the task, but frequent spelling errors and inaccuracies reduce the effectiveness of lexical resource.
Examples
Misspellings include 'cntribute' (contribute), 'growht' (growth), 'sbstaintial' (substantial), 'opportuanities' (opportunities), 'rewerds' (rewards), 'inequalty' (inequality), 'taxer' (taxes), 'serveces' (services), and 'enconomic' (economic).
How to Improve
Practice spelling and word formation. Use a dictionary or spell-check tools. Aim for more precise vocabulary, such as 'wealth disparity' instead of 'gap between rich and poor', and avoid repetitive terms.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
There is an attempt to use varied sentence structures, but grammatical errors are pervasive, affecting clarity and accuracy.
Examples
Errors include: subject-verb agreement ('high income... they' should be 'it'), sentence fragments ('For example, entrepreneurs and skilled professionals economic progress...'), incorrect articles ('While group of people' should be 'a group'), and extra words ('...it is the most effective' should be 'is the most effective').
How to Improve
Focus on grammar basics: subject-verb agreement, sentence completeness, and article usage. Practice writing complex sentences with correct punctuation. Consider reviewing common IELTS grammar topics and seeking feedback on written work.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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