This Band 5.5 IELTS essay discusses the pros and cons of limiting income in society. While it addresses both views, it struggles with clarity and vocabulary, leading to a need for improvement. Discover how to enhance your essay writing skills in this area!
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Discuss both views Β· High Incomes Β· 40 min
Some people in different countries earn very high incomes. While some people think that this is beneficial for the nation, others believe that the government should limit how much money people can make. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.
Score Breakdown
IELTS Writing Band Scores (1β9)
Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (317 words) and addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views and giving an opinion. However, ideas are not fully developed, and there are issues with vocabulary, grammar, and cohesion that limit clarity and impact.
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Recently some people in various countries get overpaid .Whereas some peole think that is positive for the nation , others argue that the authorities should limit their income. from my prespective i believe that the governments should limit how much money some people earn.In this essay i will discuss both views and ellaborate my opinion .
On one hand , some people in many countries earn high salary such as celebratities , football play and actors. many people think that is helpful for the countries because they represent the reputation of their countries . especial in international events so if they earn a high income they will improve them selfies and this will motivate them to do well. Moreover some people think they deserve this amount of money because they worked so hard to gain the fame . As for some famous actors and football players who spend their whole life in training in order to be well-known .
On the other hand , in many cases individuals believe that the governments should limit how much they earn . Since alot of people earn so much money for no clear reason . If they earn so much money this will cause inequality . For instance many bloggers or social media influencers are overpaidfor no specific reason, when compared to some importent professions such as doctors or teachers . Personally i think authorities should limit how much they earn provide equality" title="Correction: in order to provide equality">inorder to provide equality between different careers. And there should be a reasonable maximum wage .
In conclusion , some people in different countries earn a high salary . While people show different viewes about this , some believe that it has advantages for the nation , although others believe that the governments should put limitation to the amount of money they recieve. In my prespective i think the governments should implement rules and limitions in some circumstances .
AI Feedback Report Details
Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis
Spelling Mistakes
12 errors| Misspelled Word | Corrected Word |
|---|---|
| peole | people |
| ellaborate | elaborate |
| prespective | perspective |
| celebratities | celebrities |
| play | players |
| selfies | themselves |
| alot | a lot |
| overpaidfor | overpaid for |
| importent | important |
| viewes | views |
| recieve | receive |
| limitions | limitations |
Grammatical Mistakes
13 errors| Mistake | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| i | I | Capitalization error for the first-person pronoun |
| get overpaid | are overpaid | Passive voice is more appropriate for formal context |
| high salary | high salaries | Plural noun required after 'earn' |
| football play and actors | football players and actors | Incorrect noun form; 'players' is needed |
| especial in international events | especially in international events | Adverb form required to modify the phrase |
| improve them selfies | improve themselves | Reflexive pronoun and correct word choice |
| they worked so hard to gain the fame | they have worked so hard to gain fame | Present perfect tense for past action with present relevance, and remove unnecessary definite article |
| As for some famous actors and football players who spend their whole life in training in order to be well-known . | This is true for some famous actors and football players who spend their whole lives training to become well-known. | Sentence fragment corrected to a complete sentence with proper tense and phrasing |
| Since alot of people earn so much money for no clear reason . | since a lot of people earn so much money for no clear reason, | Fragment should be integrated into a complex sentence with correct spelling |
| If they earn so much money this will cause inequality . | If they earn so much money, this will cause inequality. | Comma needed after the conditional clause |
| inorder to provide equality | in order to provide equality | Spacing error; 'in order' is two words |
| While people show different viewes about this | While people have different views about this | Verb choice and spelling correction; 'have' is more appropriate than 'show' |
| put limitation to the amount of money | impose limitations on the amount of money | Preposition and verb collocation error; 'impose limitations on' is correct |
Vocabulary Improvements
5 suggestions| Original Word/Phrase | Improved Word/Phrase | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| get overpaid | are overpaid | Informal phrasing; 'are overpaid' is more formal and precise |
| do well | perform excellently | Vague term; 'perform excellently' is more specific and academic |
| provide equality | ensure equality | Wrong collocation; 'ensure equality' is more commonly used in formal contexts |
| put limitation | impose limitations | Informal and incorrect collocation; 'impose limitations' is standard academic phrasing |
| implement rules and limitions | establish rules and limitations | Word choice improvement; 'establish' is often preferred for rules and systems in formal writing |
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Detailed Criteria Feedback
AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion
Task Response6
Evaluation
The response covers both views and presents a clear opinion, but the development is somewhat superficial. Benefits and limitations are mentioned but not explored in depth.
Examples
For example, the argument that high earners 'represent the reputation of their countries' is stated but not elaborated. The comparison between bloggers and doctors is introduced but not fully analyzed.
How to Improve
Extend ideas by providing more detailed explanations, examples, and consequences. For instance, explain how high incomes drive economic growth or how inequality affects society.
Coherence & Cohesion5.5
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, paragraphing is inconsistent, and linking between ideas is often abrupt or reliant on basic cohesive devices.
Examples
The first body paragraph jumps from celebrities to football players without smooth transitions. Sentences like 'Since alot of people earn so much money for no clear reason.' are fragments that disrupt flow.
How to Improve
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and that ideas progress logically.
Lexical Resource5
Evaluation
Vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with frequent spelling errors and inappropriate word choices that sometimes impede meaning.
Examples
Misspellings: 'celebratities' (celebrities), 'ellaborate' (elaborate), 'prespective' (perspective). Inappropriate use: 'selfies' for 'themselves' or 'selves'. Basic repetition of words like 'earn' and 'people'.
How to Improve
Expand vocabulary by learning topic-specific terms (e.g., 'income disparity', 'wealth distribution'). Practice spelling and use a dictionary to verify word choices. Avoid informal terms like 'selfies' in academic writing.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy5
Evaluation
There are numerous grammatical errors throughout, including punctuation mistakes, sentence fragments, and issues with subject-verb agreement. Sentence structures are mostly simple, with limited complex forms.
Examples
Missing capitalization: 'many people think' should start with 'Many'. Fragment: 'For instance many bloggers...' without proper punctuation. Incorrect plural: 'football play' should be 'football players'. Run-on sentences in the conclusion.
How to Improve
Focus on sentence structure variety by incorporating complex sentences with clauses. Review punctuation rules, especially for commas and periods. Proofread to correct subject-verb agreement and article usage.
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.
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