Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay on Student Choice: Coherence Issues
Sample Answer with Feedback

πŸ“… Published Apr 2026 ⏱️ 40 minutes recommended πŸ“ 271 words Β· Band 5.5
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This Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 essay discusses whether students should choose their subjects freely. Key feedback highlights coherence issues and underdeveloped arguments, pointing out the need for more specific examples and smoother transitions. Improve your writing by understanding these common pitfalls!

IELTS Writing Task 2 Question

Discuss both views Β· University Students Β· 40 min


There are two opposing views on whether university students should be free to choose their own subjects or whether they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Write at least 250 words.



5.5 Band

Overall Band Score

271 words · Discuss both views Β· AI Evaluated

6
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical Resource
5.5
Grammar

Score Breakdown

IELTS Writing Band Scores (1–9)

Task Response
6
Coherence and Cohesion
6
Lexical Resource
6
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
5.5

Summary: The essay meets the minimum word count (271 words) and addresses the task by discussing both views and giving an opinion. However, the arguments are underdeveloped and lack specific examples. The structure is clear but coherence within paragraphs is weak. Vocabulary is adequate but with some inaccuracies, and grammatical errors reduce clarity.

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Student Answer
Real submission β€’ 271 words β€’ Annotated
271 words Band 5.5 WritingPart2
● Spelling ● Grammar ● Vocabulary

There is an ongoing debate about students freely choosing their subjects of interest or whether they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future and the society in terms of science and technology. Both perspectives present valid arguments, but I believe a more approachable manner can be beneficial.
On one hand, Students choosing their own subjects show the level of responsibility towards determining their ideal career paths. A lot of students already have aspirations of their careers in future and most science and technology subjects will not align in their career paths. Most students are more likely to excel in subjects and courses they are interested in. A lot of students might not even have the intelligence to excel in science and technology because not all intellects are the same and when these students are forced, it may result in lack of interest and motivation.
On the other hand, the economic growth of a country reflects on the advancement in their technology. Most world power countries around the world are at the position they are now because of how advanced they are in their approach to science and technology within their countries. Engaging students in subjects related to science and technology is a huge factor in this argument. The purpose of this helps in a country's development in terms of engineering, medicine, information technology and also in financial aspects.
In conclusion, although certain subjects may seem more beneficial and effective to the society for economic reasons, students should be allowed to freely choose subjects relating to their careers for a more balanced and sociable society.

AI Feedback Report Details

Spelling Β· Grammar Β· Vocabulary Β· Criteria Analysis

Spelling Mistakes

0 errors
No spelling mistakes found.

Grammatical Mistakes

8 errors
Mistake Correction Explanation
Students choosing students choosing Capitalization error: 'Students' should not be capitalized mid-sentence unless starting a new sentence.
in future in the future Missing definite article 'the' before 'future'.
align in align with Incorrect preposition; 'align with' is the standard collocation.
result in lack of interest result in a lack of interest Missing indefinite article 'a' before 'lack'.
reflects on the advancement reflects the advancement 'Reflects on' can mean to contemplate; here, 'reflects' alone means to show or indicate.
world power countries world powers Redundant phrasing; 'world powers' is concise.
The purpose of this helps This helps Grammatical error: 'The purpose of this' is a noun phrase and cannot be followed directly by a verb; rephrase for clarity.
to the society to society When referring to society in general, no article is needed.

Vocabulary Improvements

8 suggestions
Original Word/Phrase Improved Word/Phrase Explanation
a more approachable manner a more balanced approach 'Approachable' is not apt for this context; 'balanced' is more precise for debates.
A lot of Many Informal; use 'Many' for academic writing.
show the level of responsibility demonstrate responsibility Wordy and vague; 'demonstrate' is more direct and academic.
aspirations of their careers career aspirations Awkward collocation; 'career aspirations' is standard.
intellects aptitudes Vague and can be misinterpreted; 'aptitudes' is more specific to academic capability.
huge factor significant factor 'Huge' is informal; 'significant' is more appropriate for academic writing.
financial aspects economic aspects 'Financial' is narrow; 'economic' is broader and more suitable.
sociable society cohesive society 'Sociable' is not typically used to describe societies; 'cohesive' implies social unity.

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Detailed Criteria Feedback

AI-powered analysis for each scoring criterion

Task Response 6
Evaluation
The essay presents both views and states an opinion, but the development is limited. Arguments are generalized and lack depth or specific examples to support them.
Examples
For instance, the first body paragraph mentions students excelling in subjects of interest but does not elaborate on how this benefits society or education. The second paragraph discusses economic growth but fails to connect it concretely to student subject choices.
How to Improve
Expand each argument with relevant examples, such as citing specific careers or societal benefits. Ensure the opinion is consistently supported throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion 6
Evaluation
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, paragraph cohesion is weak, and ideas within paragraphs are not smoothly linked.
Examples
Transitions like 'On one hand' and 'On the other hand' are used, but within paragraphs, sentences jump between points (e.g., from responsibility to intelligence without clear connectors). The conclusion is abrupt and does not effectively summarize the discussion.
How to Improve
Use cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore', 'for example', 'in contrast') to connect ideas within paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the conclusion reinforces the main arguments.
Lexical Resource 6
Evaluation
Vocabulary is sufficient for the task but repetitive and sometimes inaccurate. There is an attempt to use varied words, but collocations and word choice need improvement.
Examples
Phrases like 'approachable manner' (should be 'balanced approach' or 'pragmatic approach') and 'show the level of responsibility towards determining' are awkward. Repetition of 'subjects' and 'students' reduces lexical range.
How to Improve
Practice using synonyms and more precise academic vocabulary. Review collocations (e.g., 'pursue interests', 'economic development') and avoid vague expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy 5.5
Evaluation
Grammar is a weakness, with several errors in sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and word form. Sentences are mostly simple, and complex structures are attempted but with mistakes.
Examples
Errors include: 'a more approachable manner can be beneficial' (incorrect use of 'manner'), 'Students choosing... show' (should be 'shows' or rephrased), and 'not all intellects are the same' (better as 'not all individuals have the same intellectual strengths').
How to Improve
Focus on accurate use of verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Practice writing complex sentences with clauses, and proofread to correct grammatical errors.
πŸ’‘
Tip: Review the Band 9 model answer to see how a high-scoring essay structures arguments, uses advanced vocabulary, and maintains coherence throughout.

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